Sad to say that I have to reset my counter (60 days no P -> 0 days). Watched P yesterday, edging for about 3 hours. Edging is the worst... Also PMO'd 6 times more the day after. The only positive thing about yesterday was that I hung out with the guys and met baby girl who stayed over. I had weak Kamagra sex and all my mojo was gone that I had built up. My EQ was very weak so it was forced with help of pills. Still tried to have fun but I had to force my smiles etc, it was just a very bad day for me. I had been depressed the whole day. It has to do with my health problems where I have lost all hope of getting better. Hopelessness is a dangerous, you need hope in your life to thrive. In this state I turned to P, even though many times I tried to close it down, I just did not have any fight in me. The background for my depression is problems I have had the past 6 years with chronic gum disease + inflamed lips. The dentists have said I am at risk of tooth loss, my gums are receding and nothing I do is making things better and I just look sick as well. I have a very strict cleansing regime as ordered by my dental hygienist which I follow religiously and have spent loads of money during the years on checkups, different toothbrushes, interdental brushes, dental floss + water flosser, mouthwashes, healthy supplements. I also grind my teeth so I have a night guard. The damage is done already though and I can't chew properly anymore, my bite does not fit together and even my speech has changed since my upper and lower jaw does not fit together like it should. Nothing is working and I have a hard time accepting that this is how I will look for the rest of my life. If things not get better not even surgery or dental implants could be performed due to receded gums. 6 years of trying new methods, documenting what I do, reading research for different methods/supplements to improve oral healthand things just get worse, there is no cure for periodontal disease, you can just maintain it and if that is not working=you lose your teeth. Spending hours everyday just thinking about it and not trying to look into the mirror too much, it really puts you down. Not helping that I am a thinker by nature. I have my next checkup in two weeks but I am calling the dentist first thing Monday morning since I have a tooth that is getting lose. No one in my family have had problems like this so I am just the black sheep, which is weird since I have always taken care of my oral health. I know P just makes things worse and I will do my best not to watch it again. I have installed a P-blocker on mobile/laptop. I if can get rid of P I will have one win to celebrate this year at least. Just have a hard time being an optimist these days.