Emotional Intelligence and Curing PMO addiction

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by AdventureJunkie, Feb 6, 2019.

  1. AdventureJunkie

    AdventureJunkie New Member

    I'm writing to provide encouragement and understanding to those struggling through this. These forums really helped me out. I realized I had PMO addiction and PIED at 24 and after multiple failed attempts, at 29 I'm finally having sex again and very little urge to PMO. I'd like to share part of my journey and the things that finally got me over the hump.

    #1 Examine your emotional conditioning and patterns that keep you turning to PMO to sooth your negative emotions.

    I mostly failed at PMO for several years because I didn't have the basics of emotional regulation and I was using PMO and alcohol to regulate and cope with my negative emotional states. As a younger man I was never taught these skills and for 28 years I viewed them as weak and so I suppressed these emotions. Some podcasts with guys I viewed as successful and tough got me reconsidering these ideas. Side note: Check out Tony Robbins on emotions, David Goggins on Rich Roll Podcast, Tim Ferriss on Rich Roll Podcast! The fact is we all have these emotional patterns and coping strategies that take effort and understanding to identify and change.

    #2 Share your battle with PMO with at least one person you trust. This helps with emotional regulation as well as giving you a little extra accountability.

    Sharing my PMO problem was incredibly difficult for me and still is. I've shared with a couple people but very selectively. I met a girl 8 months ago who really wanted sex and called me out on the excuses I was making to not have it. I eventually trusted her enough to share what I was struggling with and she supported me 100%. We have an awesome non-exclusive sexual relationship still today with great communication all because I got over my shame and accepted the vulnerability of exposing my PMO issue. I strongly encourage to you all to open up about this to someone you're close with. There's a good chance if it's a man, they watch porn or have had an issue with this as well.

    #3 Accept that this is a life long change, not a short term fix. This will take patience.

    The first times I relapsed, I relapsed all the way. PMO 5 times in one day kind of thing after getting hammered at the bar the night before. I was really hard on myself after those incidents. I couldn't tell you my longest streak hard mode but the relapses I've had in the past 6 months - a year were sparse and only once masturbation session at a time, mostly without porn. If you happen to relapse, don't beat yourself up too badly, go get a workout in to change your mental state and get back on the horse.

    Good luck to you all! Regaining your confidence, hard boners, and a fulfilling sex life is possible. Finding the courage to look at your inner emotional world will give you immense growth in many areas of life. I encourage you all to explore that, find a men's group, join a gym community like crossfit or BJJ. We all need connection and support. It's very hard to change on your own.

    Best wishes!

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