ED - Preference for curvy women

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Bullseyebull, Aug 4, 2014.

  1. Bullseyebull

    Bullseyebull Guest

    Hello all,

    Decided to make a more to the point focused journal as my story was a bit long winded in my last one and I fell off the wagon. My heads a bit clearer now and by the end of the month I will be 27 and need to tackle this. For my full story see my other posts.

    Currently on day 7 no PMO. Here's my basic issue in points:

    - I have a preference for curvier women.

    - Always had trouble getting an erection with girls. Only managed to have sex with one girl who I had a 2 year relationship with but it took a while with her probably pied/anxiety but after a couple of months sex life got better but I incorporated the preference - she was chubby and gained some weight and had a belly.

    - I romantically and personality wise get on with lots of girls who are slim and perfect for me in every way for my life apart from an arousal point of view. Often get asked on dates but have to brush them off because of the fetish.

    - Believe the internet and uneducated choices of viewing materials and excessive masterbation have crippled my love life. Remember as a young boy having crushes on normal sized girls (don't know about arousal though). And when a little older an erection cuddling a normal sized girl.

    - As it is now and always really I'm getting into bed with attractive girls and having no reaction down there because of all this which is distressing!!


    Please comment with advice on ways forward and support. Anyone with any advice relating to this.
     
  2. Rusty

    Rusty Member

    Re: ED - Belly/ Fat fetish - Please support

    Have you had bad porn cravings?
     
  3. Rusty

    Rusty Member

    Re: ED - Belly/ Fat fetish - Please support

    Your improving thats all that matters. Have you thought about going on a date with any of them?
     
  4. Brunevii

    Brunevii Something I try to teach all my boys..

    Re: ED - Belly/ Fat fetish - Please support

    I dunno. For what it's worth, I have a similar fetish* preferences(fat girls, weight gain, etc) and it did not go away after about 60 days of no PMO. I think it's just a preference for me, as at 19 I was cuddling in bed with a positively skinny girl (like 110 lbs) and that gave me a painfully strong erection. Probably didn't have PIED back then.. Seven years later, same situation, same girl and I couldn't keep it up. Even though by then she was far more attractive to me. Very athletic, strong but nicely padded.. that's what finally made me think I had PIED.

    Some people have written about this.. I think if you won't feed the fetish it'll become weaker. Look up people who have trouble with HOCD, there's plenty of them so some of the might have long-term observations on that..



    Well, you don't have to jump into bed on the first or second date. Or even the third one. What is it with people these days?
    I think you'll find whether you find them arousing or not just by kissing them. I managed (iirc) about 70 days ending around new year's, and I briefly dated a skinny girl, and there was some reaction down there if in close contact.
     
  5. Brunevii

    Brunevii Something I try to teach all my boys..

    Re: ED - Belly/ Fat fetish - Please support

    It's hard to tell as my memories of adolescence are rather hazy, but I seem to have taken to BBWs very quickly after finding net porn. First porn I looked (for) and at was that which involved really big breasts. Photos, erotic stories. While searching for the latter, I found BBW-related stories because the keywords overlap.


    I can't really say. Definitely, after a long pause in any sexual activity everything seems more arousing. However, even while abstaining I was still more interested in looking at heftier women.
     
  6. burned_out

    burned_out Guest

    Re: ED - 16 years of Belly/ Fat fetish porn - Please support - 27 years old

    Fetish stuff is definitely some insidious material to let into your mind. I've got a serious thing for one-piece swimsuits and workout spandex, going to the gym is a TRIGGER. It developed out of a healthy interest in athletic women and the fact that I have lifted since I was 15 years old and have been constantly exposed to them. But, it devolved into something weird and highly specific because of the whole forbidden fruit concept; look, but don't leer is a hard concept for porn brain to grasp. As far as ED goes, it is more than likely psychogenic impotence, you could always try a supplement that boosts dopamine and blocks prolactin.However, that is usually for people with medically confirmed pituitary disorders. Read through the forum you'll find every conceivable issue that arises from porn addiction. I suffer from a very severe case of excuse-itis myself.
     
  7. Wilco

    Wilco Member

    Re: ED - 16 years of Belly/ Fat fetish porn - Please support - 27 years old

    Don't use to much of that kind of supplements, it could harm your healthy. It made your mind weird.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. burned_out

    burned_out Guest

    Re: ED - 16 years of Belly/ Fat fetish porn - Please support - 27 years old

    Before you start researching all kinds of supplements to take, your normal naturally occurring and endogenously produced dopamine blocks prolactin. But, excessive porn use causes dopamine dis-regulation and after orgasm the body produces high levels of prolactin. Dopamine doesn't make anyone "weird" unless you subscribe to the "dopamine theory" for a possible cause of schizophrenia as opposed to the prenatal virus theory. What I was suggesting as a dietary supplement is L-Dopa in the form of Mucuna puriens extract, it is touted as an HGH supplement.

    I love supplements, I take a ton of them and always play Devil's advocate for them. But, this rare occasion I'm just gonna say less is more. Zinc, is great, so is pycnogenol, but a healthy diet and exercise come first, supplements just fill in nutritional gaps in an otherwise healthy diet. L-Dopa just helps speed along the process of your body readjust it's own dopamine production after you've been off porn for a while and clears out elevated prolactin from recent orgasm within a 7 day period.

    And, congrats on 17 days clean!
     
  9. burned_out

    burned_out Guest

    Re: ED - 16 years of Belly/ Fat fetish porn - Please support - 27 years old

    6 hours in, and I'm right in the danger zone of relapse for the second time today because of a closed door in the computer room. And, no unless you have a family history of a severe mental illness like schizophrenia and the genetic probability of developing it you should be fine taking something like L-Dopa. L-Dopa and the idea of blocking prolactin is the realm of something colloquially known as "bro-science," it's mostly for bodybuilders who take real AAS or pro-hormones and develop gynecomastia as a side effect of massively elevated prolactin and estrogen metabolite levels. In all actuality they don't even mess around with over-the-counter herbs, they just take grey market pharmaceuticals.

    Realistically, disregard, what I said about the supp I've never actually noticed any benefit from L-Dopa personally. You don't need it, besides, everything is significantly more expensive in the U.K.
     
  10. burned_out

    burned_out Guest

    Re: ED - 16 years of Belly/ Fat fetish porn - Please support - 27 years old

    Thanks man! Give this video a watch, it's Michael Caine narrating the Rudyard Kipling poem "IF." I've never been much for poetry, but this piece has always struck me as very profound. Kipling wrote it for his son as inspiration to become a great man, luckily all of us have access to these words.

    http://youtu.be/JWvcwVWCcnY
     
  11. burned_out

    burned_out Guest

    Re: ED - 16 years of Belly/ Fat fetish porn - Please support - 27 years old

    If you relapse, keep it at the one. For me relapses usually lead to binges. For the last few years I generally follow up a minor relapse with a major relapse and an escalation in extremity of material.

    Don't let your mind trick you into "making up for lost time." Yes, there is new material out there. But, you don't need to see it! That new material is precisely the thing that pulls you further and further down the rabbit hole.

    Congrats on the 21 days, completely admirable stretch!
     
  12. Redemption

    Redemption Member

    Re: ED - 16 years of Belly/ Fat fetish porn - Please support - 27 years old

    I have a similar situation to your's. Similar goals too.

    I think we can do this. You have to stop strengthening it though. The more you give in to the urge to indulge your fetish, the stronger it becomes. Stop reinforcing it and, in time, it will become weaker.

    Once you have begun making progress in that direction it will become easier to get turned on by 'normal' things again. Maybe not ideal to begin with, but in time you will reinforce those normal desires the same way you have been reinforcing the fetish for all these years.
     
  13. Lightning Man

    Lightning Man New Member

    Re: ED - 16 years of Belly/ Fat fetish porn - Please support - 27 years old

    I can say this has been the case for me. As I go through this first month, I'm noticing that I'm paying attention to a wider range of females. I'll still probably prefer a heavier woman to a thinner woman, but my range is back from the extreme. Give it time.
     
  14. Lightning Man

    Lightning Man New Member

    Re: ED - 16 years of Belly/ Fat fetish porn - Please support - 27 years old

    I would suggest filling the hole with something completely unrelated to women entirely. Otherwise you run the risk of merely changing your fetish instead of yourself. You don't want to just switch from your fat girls to thin girls with long necks or whatever. You want to stop fetishing entirely. You want to stop objectifying sex and personify it.

    Is there a skill you've wanted to have (like speaking another language or playing an instrument)? Are you out of shape and could stand to be fitter? Then do something about that. If I thought all the time about what I was "missing" by not going to certain forums or reading certain fiction or looking at certain art or stopping at certain pay sites for this stuff, then it'd be rougher for me too.

    Like I said, I will probably always prefer a heavier woman to a thinner one, but it shouldn't be about how heavy, it should be about the woman.
     
  15. Redemption

    Redemption Member

    Re: ED - 16 years of Belly/ Fat fetish porn - Please support - 27 years old

    Yeah the general consensus on here seems to be 1) Reboot, i.e. abstain from anything sex-related and 2) Rewire. In that order. So probably best not to go looking on dating sites until you have some abstinence under your belt.

    Personally, I'm not convinced that is the only way of doing things, but I will start that way given that is what most people on here are saying.

    I don't have exactly the same fetish as you, I was primarily into femdom themed stuff. However, I did more recently develop a taste for the kind of thing you are talking about, and that teaches me two things. Firstly, it means that this isn't me 'discovering' some deeply held desire as a result of the liberating effects of porn or whatever, it is most likely an acquired taste. Secondly, the fact that I have been able to develop a taste for something which not so long ago would have been a massive turn off, suggests I can develop a taste for something more normal by essentially reprogramming myself. It wouldn't necessarily have made the connection before discovering YBOP and reading about neuroplasticity. Equipped with this new knowledge, I know that I am smarter enough to give myself the chance of escape.

    Good luck mate.
     
  16. Brunevii

    Brunevii Something I try to teach all my boys..

    Re: ED - 16 years of Belly/ Fat fetish porn - Please support - 27 years old

    Hey, go for it.



    Look at the bright side- you did 21 days.

    E.D. drugs, especially cialis have been reported to help. Together with abstaining from porn and masturbation, you ought to be able to perform...
     
  17. Rusty

    Rusty Member

    Re: ED - 16 years of Belly/ Fat fetish porn - Please support - 27 years old

    You do still make small progress from a relapse every seven days from my experience. See if you can make it to 10 days this time
     
  18. Re: ED - 16 years of Belly/ Fat fetish porn - Please support - 27 years old

    Hey man, I understand having a fetish that's hard to get rid off. It sucks.
    We just want to get a normal, healthy self. Following your journey :)
     
  19. Lightning Man

    Lightning Man New Member

    Re: ED - 16 years of Belly/ Fat fetish porn - Please support - 27 years old

    I wouldn't call it a relapse myself, Bullseyebull, but I'm an easy grader. The main thing to remember is that she is a real person and it wasn't porn. It was erotic, but it wasn't calculated for mass consumption. It might have been calculated for your individual consumption, but not mass consumption.
     
  20. Lightning Man

    Lightning Man New Member

    Re: ED - 16 years of Belly/ Fat fetish porn - Please support - 27 years old

    Well, if you're like me where M is your gateway to P, then this was a failure. But if you're basically just trying to quit P, M to the mental image of a real live woman you're trying to have a relationship with is not a problem, at least not in my book.
     

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