ED help needed

Discussion in 'Women' started by tawney, Feb 22, 2016.

  1. tawney

    tawney New Member


    18 months ago I found out my husband had been M to Porn for 9 months. Backgound is we werent having sex much due to my insecurities, so he turned to porn. He has done everything he can to make it up to me, he has not gone near porn since I found out, he has devoted his life to trying to make it up to me, and repair the damage he has done (it has been very hard for me to get over it)

    I am finally getting to the point where the thought of what he did doesnt destroy me every time I think about it, however our sex life is now going down hill.

    After I dicovered the Porn, we worked on our sex life and I'm happy to say that it has improved!! WWe finally have one! But lately he has been suffering from ED and premeture ejactulation.

    I think its anxiety with him, as all he wants if for things to be perfect between us, and for me. I know he hasnt watched porn in over 18 months, and this has only been happening in the last 6 months or so.

    Has this happened to anyone else??
  2. lyfsux42

    lyfsux42 Guest

    Are you sure he hasn't watched P for over 18 months? Hard to believe someone who has gone that long would be suffering from ED, unless maybe he's old or something.

    I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that maybe he's still watching P. First of all I never heard of anyone, even people who aren't "addicted", being able to stop watching P just like that, and second is the ED and PE issues already mentioned.
  3. thatsdeep

    thatsdeep Guest

    I'm addicted to cams and I don't know if my wife knows or not. I was prescribed a medicine recently that coincide with ED, which I have never had, and my wife attributed it to the meds. But I just found out about PIED and it makes more sense; I looked up the side effects of the medicine I'm taking and ED isn't listed. (I did have a similar drug that unequivocally caused it several years ago, when I wasn't using anywhere as much porn/cams as now, so that's where we got the idea it might have been the meds.)

    I say all this to say my wife has been cooperating and willing to help, to a degree, but again, she is either clueless or purposely ignorant of my bigger cam problem. So without casting aspersions on your husband, understand he may have relapsed.

    I'm recently on this journey and haven't bought into all the premises. One I wonder about and posted about elsewhere is the whole notion of the brain craving the unattainable versus the real. Although the evangelists here would say "stop all porn, cold turkey," I have to say wait a minute. I'm not at all suggesting degrading yourself, but if there is something that your husband (or his brain!) is fixated on as unattainable, is it something you could do, in role play, perhaps?

    One factor adding to my situation is that my wife has settled into a *very* routine manner of sex (and I say my wife because I have point-blank said to her we need to do something different.) It's always in the morning, always starts the same way, always "get a towel," and always the same dirty talk. The few times in recent months where we did mix it up I had no performance problems at all. I'm not blaming her or denying my cam issues; I'm saying I found her and us more exciting when things were, well, more exciting.

    So I'm suggesting talk to you husband, nonjudgmentally. Maybe offer to watch whatever he watches with him, again, nonjudgmentally- except perhaps saying, "can we do that, hun?"

    I'll probably get kicked for suggesting this non-traditional approach, but I'm sorry. Saying stop PMOing sounds way too much like Nancy Reagan's drug plan. If the brain is craving excitement and can't tell the difference between fantasy and real, why not achieve it in real?

    And tell him you love him, too.
  4. Spoiler1977

    Spoiler1977 New Member

    I'm new to this site but I have been looking up a lot of stuff on reptile dysfunction because my husband is 38 years old and he has this problem I found out that two things have contributed to his problem watching p*** masturbation and smoking weed he had to go to the doctors and get medicine for that he doesn't think his addiction is a problem
  5. thatsdeep

    thatsdeep Guest

    Um... it's erectile dysfunction, not reptile, Spoiler, although our scalely friends may have their problems too. Just remember not to be judgmental. See my previous note to Tawny. Good luck!
  6. Spoiler1977

    Spoiler1977 New Member

    That's what I ment erectile dysfunction my phone messes up sometimes

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