ED 10 years . Got a GF now but sex could be a lot better

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by Dave3456, Feb 1, 2019.

  1. Dave3456

    Dave3456 New Member

    I started PMO when I was 19 . First time I had sex was 20, didn’t go well, I was very confused why I couldn’t get it up . Eventually i did and I finished . Never figured it was porn that was messing me up . Stopped using porn aged 28 ( I know 8 years).

    Been 3 years since I’ve watched porn. Got a girlfriend now and she’s understanding , I told her the first night it happened. Anyway I get it up enough to have sex but it’s not as hard as I would like, ie it doesn’t hold itself up ( when I’m on my back my dick rests on my stomach) . I loose the erection about 80% of the time ( mainly when she’s on top ) .

    Before I met her , when I stopped whatching porn I didn’t Fap for a month or so. No orgasm either . I remember getting a boner just taking my pants off after work and it stood to attention , I was very pleased and surprised . About a month later I met my girlfriend and it hasn’t done that since . (2 years ish)

    My question is do you think I should go hard mode some more . ( no sex ) ? Any advice would be appreciated. Also morning wood is few and far between and I’m pretty sure my dicks got smaller . ( when it was hard that one time is was back to full size) I did read that if you don’t use it and you don’t have boners in your sleep then it can shrink ) any way onwards and upwards ( excuse the pun )


    Thanks .

    Dave .
     
  2. Doper

    Doper Member

    "I did read that if you don’t use it and you don’t have boners in your sleep then it can shrink".....I would not worry about that.

    If your girlfriend was open to it I would say go hard mode and shut yourself down for a month, as you said this worked before and if you did it perfectly I'm sure you would benefit.

    But if you are still jerking off/nutting by yourself/fantasizing AT ALL cut all that stuff out entirely, and the only time sexual thoughts enter your mind is when you are having sex with your girlfriend, and see how that works before going the more drastic route.
     
  3. Dave3456

    Dave3456 New Member

    Ok thanks I’m still on Hard mode, I’ll go as long as I have to till I can get a strong erection. Do you think I can have sex with her but not orgasm ?
     
  4. winning

    winning Member

    You should play with your girlfriend sexually as much as you want to. Just don't cum. That's it. Enjoy being with your girl sexually but make it non goal orientated.

    Do it from a place of love, not lust. Cuddle first, then explore her body, caress and take it all in. Enjoy it for what it is instead of being totally pre occupied with yourself. It will take practice to be able to do that btw!

    That's a reboot. Putting your dick in a lock box and hoping it get's better after a set period of time is a bad move, I've done 90 days no orgasm, it didn't solve all my problems.

    I had a terrible case of PIED and it took fucking years to figure it out. For years I just didn't have much interest in sex 80% of the time and that's being optimistic, in reality it was probably more like 90%+!!

    I've now got to a place where I enjoy sex and orgasms whenever I want, which is most days. It's like a different life.

    The key is, and I think this has been said on here many times over the years, start having fun sexually with partner(s) as soon as you feel like it but try not to ejaculate.

    If you do ejaculate though, and you will, it's not the end of the world so don't worry. Enjoy that for what it is as well, it's all part of the process.

    It might cause you to flat line for a couple of weeks but that's OK, just get on with your life and wait until you feel up for it again.
     
  5. Dave3456

    Dave3456 New Member

    HI! Thanks very much for this, it’s just what I wanted to hear. I haven’t been on here for a while so excuse the late reply. I’m currently trying my 90 day reboot again ( 1 month in) I Esjaculated with my gf the last two attempts.

    My sex drive is still about 20% and my dick hasn’t been able to hold itself up in 2 years ( before I met my gf) I’ll continue to 90 days definitely this time , let’s see how things go after that . Since I’ve met my girlfriend we have sex when my penis has been in this condition ( not holding itself up) but it’s still ok for sex. Just needs to be harder . Thanks again for your reply .
     

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