I can relate to having a hard time associating PMO with emotional pain. I was confused about this for a long time and only recently realized that with me, PMO might be a way to escape my personality and the structure I put on life. When I am watching porn I get this feeling like the rules don’t apply, and I can make things as extreme as I want in this little time window. I keep wanting to extend the time of the session until I have to go back to normal life. Do you ever get a feeling like that? I think for me, in the alternative land where rules don’t apply, I also do not have to follow all the rules I set up for myself to deal with anxiety (ocd type behaviors and so on) and I feel more free. Do you feel like increased PMO in the recent past is a reaction to anxiety in this way? Just some thoughts. These things are very hard to figure out, if you are not obviously abused or something.