Draining the grotto of my pornographic mind

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Intothewild89, Jun 30, 2018.

  1. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Member

    Hi everyone,

    For the past two years, I've been struggling fairly hard with giving up pornography. I was having many, many symptoms before I found out they were related to my addiction. For a little while I was convinced I had post orgasmic illness syndrome, but after going 10/14/19 and then eventually 23 days (my record) without pmo, I realized the bad post orgasmic effects were being caused by overstimulation by porn. When I've gone a week or two without looking at it, my symptoms are similar, but wayy reduced.

    These feelings always happen 3-4 days after ejaculation. Brain fog, anxiety attacks, pressure in my face and depersonalization run rampant until day 7, but it's much much better when I dont pmo. It only lasts for a day and a half, usually on day 4, which I've come to read is fairly normal as you age (I'm 33).

    Anyway, now that I've figured out that porn addiction is my problem, I've been gifted with the worst premature ejaculation of my life. I've been married for 9 years and my wife and I have 3 children. Before we got married, we would have sex endlessly. I could give her multiple orgasms from pentatration and it was usually her who would tell me to stop and get the orgasm over with. I was 24 then. I also used to smoke tons of weed.

    Now I'm 33 and my addiction has been going strong for roughly 8 years now. My premature ejaculation has gotten to the point where I can only thrust 3 or 4 times before needing to orgasm. I've tried taking antihistamines and doing the whole reverse kegal thing, but it never helps. I only have a better chance if I rub one out a half hour before sex. I then typically last 2 minutes, but this is still not where I want to be. I'll also then orgasm during sex, which makes my post orgasm symptoms wayy worse (2 o's in one day).

    Many guys complain about ED with porn addiction, but I'm the complete opposite. I get raging erections even by slightly kissing or hugging my wife. It's like the porn has oversensitised my entire sexuality. I dont venture into extreme versions of porn, always just riding videos, they are my guilty pleasure. Since the bad PE has started, we've had sex much less, usually once every 2 weeks and when we do, it sucks, reallllly bad. She tells me she doesn't care and still has orgasms on my stomach, but I know this has to be why we hardly have sex anymore. We used to have it multiple times a week and she would always be the one to ask for it.

    My question is, is the porn addiction causing my premature ejaculation? My erections feel so much more rigid and hard now, and I shake before we initiate sex sometimes like I'm high on dopamine or something. I get the same shaking feeling when I'm watching porn. It's like a pure sex addiction and im so tired of it all. Can anyone relate? I'm so tempted to try SSRIs but I want to know if there is hope on the other side of this addiction. I have no depression, but I get anxiety attacks daily now and have been since 2016, right when I started getting post orgasmic symptoms. I love this site and all of the resources it has. Thanks everyone.
     
  2. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Member

    Rather than starting a new thread, I'll be turning this existing one into my daily log. Since that post, I've continued to reboot/relaspe/binge about 3 times in a month. This past relapse has been particularly bad. Here's what I'm experiencing.

    Today is day 8 with no porn, no orgasm, no masturbation. For the first 3 days I felt amazing. Once day 4 hit, the anxiety attacks started big time. They rose in intensity each day until day 6 where they were practically unbearable. I feel like shit all day until 6pm where the anxiety lifts and I think I'm better, only to sleep all night and wake up with the anxiety again.

    Yesterday the anxiousness started to lift and I had a pretty good day. In exchange for the anxiety, I started to feel extremely fatigued, sore muscles all over and intense exhaustion. I feel like I ran 30 miles but in reality did no such exercise in the last 8 days. I would also like to add that ever since day 4, I've had horrible on again, off again headaches in my cheek bones, around my eyes, my forehead and the back of my head. It's like little fits of tension that come and go, alternating on both sides of my head every couple of hours.

    I can't stand for more than an hour or so before feeling the anxiety and exhaustion creeping up on me. I get tingling feelings in my hands every so often and I have sensitivity to sounds. The PMO addiction has given me adrenal fatigue and i can't exercise very much because it wipes me out for an entire week. Despite all of this, my blood pressure is consistently 114/67 on average and my blood sugar is always normal 70-80 while fasting, 110-120 after meals. Im 140lbs. I had dental work done recently and even that put me out for a week with anxiety and fatigue. Defintely adrenal fatigue.

    Anyway, I haven't had a single morning erection since the last pmo session. Luckily my wife and I have put off sex until September, and I've never had trouble getting an erection for sex with her (I've never had ED when it matters most. I'm sure I could masturbate right now with no porn if I wanted, but the subsequent hangover with anxiety would put me out for another week so I know better to abstain).

    Overall feeling slightly less anxious, so I'm grateful for that. If day 4-6 was 90% anxious, yesterday and today would be 40%. The headaches are still annoying and I really hope the morning wood comes back soon. Once that happens, I usually feel better physically throughout the day.

    The last time my wife and I had sex, I managed to last 2-3 minutes from continuous penetration. This is a huge milestone for me, but I had used the KY duration spray, so that might be why I had good stamina.

    Will continue to update tomorrow. Hopefully this anxiousness stays away for good, it's always been my worst symptom. Never had anxiety or an anxiety attack before I turned 30. I'm now 33, attacks are on the daily, right when my pmo addiction got to its worst.
     
  3. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Member

    The headaches got notably worse over day 8 and I relapsed. It was one of those "let's see if the headaches are from migraines or porn withdrawal". The pmo binge lasted most of last night and some this morning. Headache is still in full force, which I now recognize as my typical migraine. My child got a splinter the other day and screamed in my ear but I forgot about it (loud sudden noises trigger my migraines) and didnt recall until after the binge. We know the truth though. Part of my addict subconscious mind was using the pain as a scapegoat into relapsing. And it won again.

    Interesting things to note here, though. I mentioned in my first post about anxiety and weird symptoms starting in 2015 along with bone crushing premature ejaculation. I said in my following post that my wife and I had successful sex last week for nearly 2-3 straight minutes which is like a marathon for me. Guess what? After the porn binge this morning, my wife and I had sex and I lasted nearly 5-7 minutes of continuous penetration! Wtf?! It was like the previous methods I used years ago to hold my orgasm magically worked again. I was freaking ecstatic. The failure of a pmo relapse didnt even phase me (I'm sure it will in 4 days though when i feel like hell physically).

    This brings me to my next theory for my anxiety/fatigue and general lack of energy. A few days prior to our successful sex last week, my wife had gotten her copper iud taken out of her uterus. She was suffering from bad palps, anxiety and panic as well. As it turns out, some people can get copper toxicity from the copper iud device, and those fluids and environment can affect your partner during sex. Was the copper iud (which she had implanted a few months before my anxiety and PE started) been to blame all along? Was I reacting to the copper?! Crazy stuff, I know, but I DO know what I felt, and I felt an incredible weight lifted off of my penis. It was like this ridiculous oversensativity vanished in a week. My anxiety has calmed, but I am still having migraines.

    So apparently migraines can be caused by shifting levels of estrogen. I'm fairly estrogen dominant. I get anxiety attacks from eating flaxseed, which is the highest food rich in phytoestrogens. I have sex just fine and never have ED. Could I really NOT be suffering from withdrawal symptoms, but just be getting migraines from pmo? When I wait 2 weeks away from pmo AND AVOID MY OTHER MIGRAINE TRIGGERS, I feel completely back to my old self. I wont try to talk myself into another binge here, i obviously DO have a problem with porn since i haven't been able to stop watching it in over 2 years. Still, am I confusing withdrawal symptoms for migraines? Only one way to find out.

    Trying for 90 days. Here we go again! Day 1.
     
  4. Fry2

    Fry2 Well-Known Member

    Hi intothewild,PE and porn addiction can be interconnected. When you get clean you starve your brain from dopamine and it can become hyper sensitive to any (sexual) stimulus. Hence you may reach orgasm much faster. That should get better after a while in recovery though.
     
  5. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Member

    Hey Fry, thanks for the reply. Hypersensitivity has only been a problem for me for the past 3 years. Before then, I used to be able to have sex with my wife pretty normally (usually 10 min. Of continuous pentatration.) Since the pmo addiction got worse in 2015, I noticed that I began to suffer from sensitization with anything remotely sexual. I know porn was to blame for this. I never ventured into worse forms of porn other than riding videos, so for some reason I never developed desensitization. I think that's why I got adrenal fatigued from always being "high" from porn. But, I mentioned since my partner got rid of her copper IUD, the PE has significantly lessened, and I've done no such thing differently, so that could also be why it went away in a matter of 2 weeks spontaneously. All I know is that porn is never the answer and I have to quit it regardless to become the person i used to know.

    I changed the title of my post to reflect the journal this thing is to become. I'm drowning in this addiction, and the only way to reach the clean air is to hold myself accountable with these daily posts.
     
  6. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Member

    Yesterday was day 2. Felt pretty amazing since the evening on Saturday. Anxiety was smoothed out, no more headaches and my urge to watch porn had significantly dwindled. I'm sure this all correlates to having sex with my wife Saturday morning. The entire day yesterday was awesome, until last night around 10:30. Like a switch, I started to get a migraine aura and within 15 min. I had an anxiety attack and the headache returned. Is there such thing as orgasm induced migraines?

    Slept pretty bad. Only about 6 hours. This morning I'm getting lingering head throbs of pain on one side of my head that continually alternates. No blurry vision or anything like that though. No appetite this morning. Had some sexual thoughts but managed to put them to rest. Anxiety isnt too bad upon waking. The weather here has been overcast for the past few days, so that could also be adding to my headaches.

    I read yesterday that migraines are related to low serotonin. I always read that addictions wreak havok on dopamine and serotonin levels, as is also the case with adrenal fatigue. I truly believe I'm dealing with high norepinephrine levels along with low dopamine, low serotonin, low gaba and high histamine/inflammation. The migraines could be caused by the pmo addiction messing with my hormone levels. I'm hoping at least.

    I remember seeing a pmo addict do this with his daily symptoms and I'd like to try the same for 90 days. I'm going to rate my symptoms on a scale of 1 to 10 and then do a graph illustration at the end of three months to see my progression. I'll be documenting anxiety levels and headache intensity, as these are my two biggest grievances with my addiction. I'll also chart my inter-vaginal latency time to document my PE progression. 1 is symptom free and 10 is the worst.

    Saturday (day1): Anxiety 3 Headache 2
    IVLT: 5-7 minutes.

    Sunday (day2): Anxiety 2 Headache 1
    Experienced migraine aura with subsequent head pain and anxiety for 2 hours with A rating at a 9 and H rating at a 6. Both have come down this morning to a 4 and 3, respectively.

    Day 3 into 4 until day 10 is typically when my pmo withdrawal is the worst, so I'll closely monitor things today and tomorrow to see if this particular reboot follows suit. Here we go.
     
  7. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Member

    Here it comes, freaking day 3 anxiety on cue. My head is actually feeling quite well now, but I'm still having the neurological effects of the migraine like upset stomach and numbness. I will say, for the past week I've been taking aspirin on and off and still eating my fish oil vitamins, so that might be the cause for numbness. I have stopped both since Friday. Guess I'll give myself 2 weeks before going back to the F.O. vitamins and ditching the aspirin. The pain is manageable now that I dont need it.

    I'm totally on edge. I'm fidgety and pacing a bit. Appetite is a little better, made some eggs and toast with bananas. I'm sorta spacey and fogged out, but I had been wearing ear plugs all day yesterday for my sound sensitivity during the migraine. That always throws off my equilibrium when I take them out. No fever, 98.3 and my blood pressure is at 117/69 with a pulse of 73. I'm 140lbs, 5'7".

    Despite thoughts of sex earlier, I'm not really wanting to watch porn. The cravings, those little jolts of dopamine, typically dont hit until day 6 or 7. I'm sure they'll be right on cue when I start feeling better. It's like I can't just recognize when I'm having cravings that, if I just masturbate without porn as soon as the craving hits, I wont have to go through hours of binging and a week and a half of physical and mental torment afterwards. I always tell myself I wont orgasm after a binge, but then end up having sex anyway and making the withdrawal 10 times worse. Normal people have sex multiple times a week with no hangover and anxiety afterwards, why can't that be me? I have to push through this, I need to make that my reality. Sex is somewhat limited between my wife and I because of how I feel sometimes (I tell her too much orgasm gives me hangovers and anxiety, which is true, but she doesn't know the reason is from freaking porn binges).

    I would love nothing more than to have sex 2-3 times a week and not have hangover/anxiety afterward. Is this possible by giving up porn?! I hate this shit. My last binge was literally 3-5 hours at night from midnight till 5am on Friday night/Saturday morning.

    Feeling horrible, riding it out. Who's going through this today? Day 3 is a bitch.
     
  8. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Member

    Overall, the day got better. I figured some exercise my take away my anxiety so I went out and did some yard work for a few hours. Knocked that adrenaline right out. My head is still sporadic with the pain. Other than that I'm doing alright. Getting up and moving, doing things is so great for chilling me out. Sitting around analyzing all of my withdrawal symptoms will make me 10x more the basket case I am already, so I might as well occupy my time and keep in shape doing it.

    Anxiety for today started at a 4, probably a 2 now, maybe even 1. Headache is a 1, barely even there right now. Tomorrow is day 4. Feeling like I'll get good sleep tonight. I'll need it for the worst of what's to come.
     
  9. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Member

    Headache is back today, but the intensity is much more reduced. After all that yard work yesterday, my anxiety is pretty much non-existent today. I'm trying to keep busy inside, not thinking about anything sexual in particular. Not craving porn yet at all. I know I have this addiction because I get true cravings, real squirts of dopamine that I don't get with anything else.

    I got a good e-mail today from the NoFap team. There was a part in that e-mail that talked about how "you can't reboot in a bubble". I feel like this is especially true with me. For the past 2 or 3 years, I've tried relentlessly to block porn from any and all devices I could get my hands on. A part of me thought I was doing good by this, but another part of me was in the camp of "what are you going to do? block websites for the rest of your life?" and "are you really going to block YouTube for the next 60 years?". This is exactly what that saying means. You can't reboot and expect those things to just get magically better when you go back. You have to learn to get over this addiction without using blockers. It's sorta like how you need to face a fear rather than running from it. Facing the fear of agoraphobia did a whole hell of a lot more for me than staying inside and trying to avoid leaving the house by myself for the rest of my life. All points aside, you cannot get over this addiction by trying to limit yourself from technology unless you truly move away into the mountains, cut all electronic communication and live like a hermit for the rest of your remaining days. It's not possible. I just realized two reboots ago that I got further in 2 years during a streak where I blocked no porn at all than when I did with all the blockers I'd been utilizing since 2016. I love this saying and I feel it's depressingly true - "The addict doesn't have to quit. The addict has to want to quit". You'll figure out how to bypass every blocker you've ever set up as long as you want to watch porn. Only when you decide that you want to GIVE UP porn do you truly get over the addiction. I think I'm 99% there now.

    Today is day 4. Let's see how things go by the end of today. Usually by day 5 and later into the first week anxiety tends to amplify. I'm going to try and exercise it out and stay away from self loathing and looking up my symptoms. It's worked so far.
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2018
  10. gavney

    gavney Active Member

    Well done on your progress so far.

    As many people will attest on here, giving up PMO is one side of the problem, but generally the first bit that needs to be solved. You need to find healthy ways to replace PMO with something else, otherwise you just end up going back to PMO.
    Exercise is a very good idea, and it seems to be something you're looking towards. I have personally found it very helpful for quitting PMO. It is great for anxiety, which may have some involvement in your addiction. Exercise has been shown to be helpful for people quitting drug addiction, so it surely can help with Porn addiction also.

    Also, keep journalling here, and being as open and honest as you can.

    Best of luck!
     
    Intothewild89 likes this.
  11. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Member

    Thanks Gavney. You're completely right about replacing the PMO with healthy activities. I play and write a lot of music, but I have issues with my right ear where, if I hear too much loud sound, I get thrown into a migraine. It's partially to blame for years of playing in bands throughout my life, but it's just something I have to deal with now. I get a lot of neurological symptoms with my migraines, like numbness, ringing ears, high anxiety/panic, depersonalization, etc. A part of me, however, wonders if a lot of these things would go away or at least get much better if I quit PMO and porn altogether. The time I went 23 days without porn last year, I felt absolutely incredible. I also suffer from post orgasmic illness problems, which started in 2016 and never used to happen before my addiction started producing cravings. Sounds like PMO might be more a cause of the problems in my life than I realize.

    I've read some of your posts. I hope you're still on day 8 today. I'll keep journaling here in this thread until I'm either free of all my debilitating symptoms, or at a better place where I can safely say I'm happy with my life. I'm getting there, and I know that. I've seen the light after multiple attempts. Like I said, 23 days is the longest I've gone in over 10 years. My sessions usually consist of only 1 orgasm, but with many, many hours of binge watching. Pathetic, I know. Don't worry, I'll be around for the long haul. Thanks for the reply!
     
  12. gavney

    gavney Active Member

    I am indeed;)
    Careful not to beat yourself up about your past binging. You're taking the right steps and sound committed to change. All of this porn binging is a waste of time, but you could've made much worse decisions/ mistakes in life, some of which would be hard to come back from. At least PMOing can be overcome and won't impact the rest of your life if you quit it.
     
  13. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Member

    Reaching the end of day 4. Anxiety stayed pretty tame, got a little spike when I had to pick my kids up from school but other than that, probably a 2 for the day. My headache still sucks though, a 7 on the day for pain. They're little stingers that zap alternating sides every so often. My cheeks, jaws, and temples also feel full and tight.

    Did the edging around my property this evening just in case the anxiety decided to spike. Got a good sweat out for an hour or so. Feeling good now, prepping for bed. This particular reboot has been a bit easier than others. I dont know if it's from the exercise or what, but I'm usually pretty anxious around now and getting hot flashes in my ears along with depersonalization real bad. None such so far, just the headache issues. Still haven't had any activity "down there" for 4 days since the last sex encounter. No morning wood, no nothing. Pretty dead, lol. I'm sure if my wife wanted to have sex, though, I could go pretty easily.

    I know this addiction is real because I just can't stop doing it and I get real cravings that feel like watching porn but only last for half a second. It's like a jolt of dopamine, like an incredible spike of ecstacy that only happens when I recall a porn scene or porn star. Nothing else in my life gives me these zaps of feeling incredible, and I assume that's what cravings are? I just dont know why I dont get ED like everyone else. Am I just not that addicted? Some of the anxiety I feel a couple days after binges makes me feel like I'm going to die, and I get really crampy and sore after about a week of not watching porn. Like clockwork, I can always count on day 9 to give me incredible tiredness, like I have absolutely no energy to do anything at all. These things wouldn't happen if I wasn't addicted, right? At least you guys all have the comfort of sharing the same symptoms. I had one anxiety attack in my entire life before turning 31, and ever since that massive panic attack in July 2016, I have anxious feelings sometimes every day. The anxious feelings also began when I started getting porn "cravings", or those jolts of feeling extremely good when I have sudden thoughts of porn. Has to be connected. Has to.

    Alright, enough analysis. Tomorrow is day 5! I'm going to watch some football reruns and crash.
     
  14. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Member

    I also wanted to add that I used to enjoy coffee for nearly 10 years, but as soon as the porn cravings started, Its like I got cross sensitization to caffeine. I detoxed from that in 2017 (a whole other hell in itself) and haven't had a coffee in nearly 3 months. I get INSANE anxiety from just a 8 oz. cup, where I used to drink 3 giant mug fulls before my porn addiction got worse/gave me cravings. It's like my entire sympathetic nervous system got stuck "on" after 2016. Ugh. I love coffee and can't drink it. I want my old life back. Gotta take it one day at a time I guess.
     
  15. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Member

    Day 5 coming in hot. Literally. My ears have been burning all day and my anxiety started coming up again. Probably around a 5 all day long. Started feeling very, very slight cravings around noon. It starts as a casual itch and then my mind instantly warps to that filthy place. Worked on some tracks and called up my drummer out in Colorado, got over the urges pretty quick. My head feels a whole hell of a lot better, the migraine finally cleared up and all of my numbness with ear ringing went away. I hate when I'm in the doldrums of a binge hangover. It's like the instant I wake up, I feel like absolute shit. I can't remember a day where i woke up and actually felt rejuvenated from sleep. I'm not crazy tired all day, but theres just a staleness I feel every morning after a binge that lasts a good two weeks. Once I get half a month into a reboot, the mornings start feeling great again. It's just a place I haven't been at in over 3 seasons now and I'm wanting that calmness in my life again. Gotta stick this thing out.

    Like I said, anxiety probably at a 5, headache was a 1. I do want to mention that once I do get to day 4 or 5, I get this fullness or pressure/inflammation in my face and cheeks and behind my eyes. It always coincides with my anxiety uptick, and I've successfully alleviated it before with anti-histamines. It knocks all those symptoms out, but doesn't touch the anxiety. It also gives me weird itching when I stop taking it, so I just ride the binge out naturally. I will note that ibuprofen will usually take care of my anxiety for a few hours. All must be inflammatory related.

    Had a mini anxiety attack around dinner but it went away after the sun went down. I still dont want to watch porn, but I can feel the itch starting to fester. Getting close to the end of the first week, I better stay vigilant. Onward and upward, bring on day 6.
     
  16. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Member

    Holy hell. Big binge last night. Lasted into this morning. I know what triggered it, my wife going to work and all I had to look forward to was football and solitude. The browns/eagles game was subpar (although that Cleveland defence was stellar!). Anyway, didnt sleep much at all, maybe an hour or two. Feel like ass today, but something strange did happen that makes this reset back to day 1 worth it all.

    We had to go out of town yesterday afternoon for my daughters dentist appointment. It was day 6, and for some reason my anxiety peaked BAD yesterday. It was the withdrawal hitting full force, with that "feeling like your dying" thing going on with the "anxiety for no reason" and "headache to split watermelons" deal. Anyway, I still have this thing I do where I still dont believe its withdrawal symptoms and it's something else. Part of having health anxiety, but anyway...

    I went out to the super market this morning with my youngest daughter and even though I had slept for 1 or 2 hours, I was having ZERO anxiety OR headaches. Sure I'm beat as hell, but I didnt care because all of my anxiety was nullified by the porn binge. I still have zero anxiety at noon here, and I know it's because I binged. This just tells me that my 3 year sudden anxiety disorder is completely sustained because of my porn use. I didnt orgasm because I didnt want the dopamine high to come crashing down. If all goes as it should, I'll have another similar withdrawal like this weeks but not nearly as bad because i didnt O. Not a problem, as my family and i are heading to Kentucky on Sunday for a week long trip. It will be day 2 by then. Looks like a great time to "rehab".

    I will start my counter again tomorrow morning. Just gonna run out the rest of this day today as lowkey as I can.
     
  17. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Member

    Yesterday was back to day 1. Felt pretty amazing all day! Although I did have a mini panic attack after eating some crab and thinking my throat was closing (damn health anxiety, you win again :mad:).

    Just like Friday, I was able once again to see some truth in this relapse that makes me happy to learn from my mistakes. I've mentioned briefly before about my sudden intolerance for caffeine starting in 2016 when I began having true porn cravings (those undeniable 1 second surges of dopamine whenever a thought of porn crosses my mind roughly 5-7 days into a reboot). I recall reading on YBOP this little tidbit, and it goes "Scientists are discovering a neurochemical "hangover" after sexual satiety, which if overridden by more ejaculation, adversely affects mood and the ability to cope with stimulants."

    Also, this on here --> "Interestingly, the researchers found that these superstuds (the rats) didn't get the usual benefit from ejaculation. Normally, ejaculation mellows a male rat, reducing his anxiety for a bit. These guys remained anxious. These rats were also more reactive to drugs than other satiated rats, evidencing signs of low dopamine along the lines of a drug withdrawal."

    Interesting. So if I'm not currently going through withdrawal yet, logically I should be able to handle a stimulant such as caffeine. Well, I tested that out and had a big coffee yesterday, expecting those horrible anxiety feelings to begin to manifest within minutes. on the contrary, I felt GREAT. I didnt have any of those weird feelings, but I know if I continue to drink it, I'll start having problems with it like I always do, 4-5 days into porn withdrawal.

    This was such an epiphany for me. The solution for my anxiety was always my problem all along. I must be more diligent and decide once and for all that this trash needs to separate from my life, the life I want to live anxiety free.

    On a side note, I had sex again this morning with my wife. I was going to wait until we got back from Kentucky, but really who's turning down sex. Anyway, lasted another 5-7 minutes! This solidifies the notion that her copper IUD was causing my premature ejaculation issues all these years. Three straight sex sessions lasting more than 2 minutes and upwards of 7, whereas sex for nearly 3 years with the copper IUD I was lasting literally 10 seconds. The science is there and my results are remaining consistent. About freaking time.

    Feel decent this morning. We have a 10 hour drive to Kentucky today. Gonna start that rehab jaunt, hopefully return home on day 7 of no pmo. Then the healing can really begin.

    Today is day 2! Feeling fine my friends. Not looking forward to Wednesday and Thursday. But at least I'll know why I'm feeling like shit lol. Let's do this.
     
  18. Reading though your posts I think the most impressive thing about you is how you're responding to set-backs at the moment. There's a fighting instinct that's materialised within you, and that should be a great source of hope.

    I'm noticing the physiological results of pmo myself much more these days. Whether that's because I'm older, or more serious about ending this addiction. It's good that you're very aware of this and your writing is enlightening.

    Quitting pmo, and freedom from this addiction has to become a lifestyle. Binges cannot result in weeks or months of feeble, submissive acquiescence. They have to be met with understanding, greater self-knowledge, and another attempt.

    Enjoy the holiday, and return with your bar at 9 days going on 10.
     
  19. I meant return on day 7! What a good opportunity to work towards!
     
  20. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Member

    Thanks man! Yes, the physiological feelings of pmo binges really didnt start to hit me until I turned 30. I think a lot of it has to do with aging, as my body in my 20s was much more able to cope and accordingly, I didnt feel the effects nearly as much or at all usually. This tells me that no matter what I would have done, I would have felt the effects eventually had I kept pmo'ing (as in, right now at 33 years old). Neurotransmitters dont recover nearly as quick as you get older, and I'm seeing the direct link now coupled with an addictive process as work.

    I hope you're doing well bro! Let's keep the streak alive.
     

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