Had a BRUTAL day yesterday. Took an illegal stimulant (FDA banned it in 2013), got a nice little buzz, binged on cam sites and porn, and crashed hard (in some people, the stim I took causes horrible side affects when it wears off. apparently I'm one of those people). Spent the rest of the day dope sick - dizzy, vomiting, cold sweats, headaches, could barely walk or get out of bed, couldn't swallow food. To say it was a horrible experience is an understatement, only a handful of times in my 29 years have I been that physically ill. I've been experimenting with high doses of caffeine lately, wanted to try something new and it cost me. Also had been abstaining from orgasm for 6 days and just let loose yesterday. 6/7 days has been my threshold lately. by then my sex drive becomes very high and i have no partner. (working on that though). Today is a new day, starting fresh. It's only 9 am and I've been surprisingly productive. Woke up early, did laundry, bought some groceries. Still feeling a bit sick but much much better than yesterday. I smoked a little weed which helped even things out. I really need to slow down a bit with the constant need for stimulation. It can difficult for me to get through the day without a jolt sometimes. Generally my journal updates are good these days. I feel healthy and confident for the most part. Yesterday was an absolute mess though. Just stupidity on my par. I need to learn from my awful experience.