Don't know where else to go. Going through a crippling quarter-life crisis.

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by germanshepherd07, Dec 30, 2014.

  1. germanshepherd07

    germanshepherd07 New Member

    I'm known as the guy who has spent over 9 to 10 Gs on cybersex. I will be turning 27 in 2015. 2014 was depressing. Broke from spending it on porn/cams, still a virgin, working mostly every week since I had no money for vacation..since I spent it on cams.

    Here comes the new year and I just busted out crying driving home from work on Christmas morning. I was hoping the rain or a deer would take me out of my misery when driving. I'm just tired of being lonely, battling my OCD/anxiety on and off, being an introvert, and not knowing what I want: a relationship or someone just to get coffee with.

    The last seven years of my adulthood has been a waste thanks to my anxiety, started my first job just two years ago, and I'm still a virgin. I'm confused. I'm bitter. I'm upset. I'm scared as I head into my 30s, I won't think of the 90s anymore of my childhood, my dog will be dead by then, and I'm scared I still will be lonely or just dead due to suicide. I'm being legit this time. I have already decided a couple of days after Christmas no more porn or spending money on it. It's just this rut I'm stuck in. I WILL BE FUCKING 30 in three years and barely just started in the real world. I just hate how socially awkward I am and being deaf/hard ofhearing doesn't help it either.

    Sorry for the long read guys. I'm desperate for someone to talk to.
     
  2. BryanHoward

    BryanHoward Keep your hands where I can see them

    Hi there. Welcome.

    Take this as rock bottom, a place from where you will climb and never allow yourself to fall back to. Where others would stop striving for a better life you will never forget where you have come from and you will stop at nothing to acheive it.

    By all means get detailed about what you want in life, with your job, your relationships, etc, but for now the most important thing is that you need to recognize exactly where you are today. You have suicidal thoughts, perhaps, depression, you are lonely, and you want out of p addiction.

    All I can recommend is that you attack this addiction. Therapy too is a must for someone wanting to seriously kill this thing. The fog that lifts, the positivity that replaces many of the anxieties, not to mention the extra time you get not pulling at your privates slumped in front of a computer - these are the things you need to gain BEFORE you can be expected to actually improve your life in any tangible way. So get yourself in a "square one" position, get comfortable, and read and plan everything you need in order to reboot and reboot properly.

    You are responsible for your destiny, only you. You could be surrounded by friends and loved ones, but it would still always come down to you. There are very sociable people with silver spoons in their mouths who acheive nothing in life but mediocrity. Is it easy for you? No. But in the heroes of this world you can see the mountains they have climbed in their eyes and it is that battle fought and won that we all want to be closer to.
     
  3. OU812

    OU812 New Member

    Follow Bryan's advice...Stellar.

    And if you ever need someone to talk to...Feel free to shoot me a PM.

    Cheers !
     
  4. UpendiT

    UpendiT Member

    I can definitely relate. If you worry about the future, you will never enjoy the present. In the past, I obsessively worried about my family dying(human and non-human) and it brought me so much grief. I'm not sure whether MOing caused my compulsive negative thoughts or if I MOed because of them.
     

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