New Here. I've been having a little bit of success lately after years of the abstain/binge cycle and I thought that I would jump on here and hopefully pass on a few things that could help some others. Plus I'm not any where near to being completely healed, so I thought this would be a great way to both help and get some support. My story: I'm 33 about to turn 34 this week. I was using porn for over 10 years until I finally realized that it was a major issue with and also went against my believe in Christ. At age 30 I discovered yourbrainonporn.com and all the people who have been "rebooting". I realized this was a must. I was able to go 1 week before M and then another. But after that I was able to do a full year no PMO. It was a great experience, but I still had a major problem with fantasy. I was basically edging with my thoughts on a regular basis. After over a year and some bad advice on the internet(shocker right?), I started to MO every so often. This was a major screw up. Obviously with my history and old habits I was not able to maintain this. It started out only every month or so. But eventually lead to a full on relapse. I have spent the past 2 years (it seems worse now that I type it out) alternating between the abstinence/binge cycle. Late last year I really started to get desperate/serious. I had actually taken my computer apart and sold the pieces I could and threw the rest away. I had no more access to the porn games (games allowed me to edge for much longer) that I had been addicted do. I also started to read my Bible much more. Instead of just claiming to believe in Christ and continuing to live however I desired, I wanted my life to reflect my beliefs. I want to be a reason non believers are interested in Christ, not a hypocrite that makes non believers roll their eyes. This may not seem like a big deal to non believers out there, but it was huge for me and I would encourage all of you, regardless of your beliefs, to really research and meditate about what your beliefs are and why. (For anyone on here that is a believer I would strongly suggest reading Matthew chapters 5-7 daily, it is the sermon on the mount, I truly believe this habit had a major impact on my recovery/life). After taking the computer apart I was able to go 39 days without relapsing. However one Friday after work I had extra free time on my hands and I couldn't get myself under control. I had a thought earlier in the week about buying a computer on Friday because I knew I would have extra time over the weekend. By the time the weekend did finally roll around, I was toast. I was 33 year old man, on the floor of my living room in tears because I knew what I was about to do... Yet I still did it. I drove myself out to wal-mart like a junky looking for a fix and bought the cheapest laptop I could find so I could binge all weekend. After 3 separate binge sessions I have been clean ever since. I believe that the Holy Spirit has helped me keep my mind for lustful fantasy and that has been the difference. For those of you that don't believe in the Spirit, just know this: you must control your thoughts to over come this addiction! I have never been more sure of this then in these past 2 months. Whatever you have to do to come up with a way to get your mind under control, you have to do it. I believe this is the biggest reason for all the binge cycles and based on some of the posts on here I'm guessing it is effecting a lot more people than just me. This has been a lot longer post than I had planned. If you stuck it out for the whole post, thank you! Seriously, thank you! I'd love to hear from you guys and I plan on staying active. There are many other things we can do to combat this. But I truly believe in my heart that the front lines of the war, is in your mind. I hope my story can help you on your journey in some way.