Don't Count Days, Just Stay Off Porn & Masturbation

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by 40New30, Nov 26, 2013.

  1. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    For a long time I thought that my depression was ONLY caused by my PMO addiction. Now, I think that it's more complicated than that. Depression runs in my family. I think PMO was a cause and a symptom of depression, like I said complicated.

    Definitely don't mess with success, but if you are depressed get treated and continue your no PMO journey at the same time.

    Wellbutrin for PMO addicts makes sense because it directly supports dopamine and nor receptors. If you have anxiety, it may not be right for you...it is right for me.

    Going off the SSRI recently proved to me that my brain is dopamine and nor deficient, not serotonin deficient.

    Is this due to hereditary or PMO abuse? I'd say both, it's complex.

    As a final point, taking fish oil, exercising, and meditating all contribute to kicking my depression's ass. It's non existent, again, if you nave little to no anxiety, take the Wellbutrin at least for a year or two while you recover from PMO addiction.
     
  2. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    I would say that depression breeds addictions such as PMO. It's sort of a vicious cycle.
     
  3. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Hey LTE, yeah, it's definitely a chicken or the egg type of thing...they feed each other. They can both cause one another and are both symptoms of one another. Kinda wacky, but true, in my experience.

    Nothing too much to report over here, I'm doing great. My erections are still not where they could or should be, but that's what I expected. Have not orgasmed for a few weeks and planning to coast as long as I can and try to beat my record of about 60 days with no O....I need it.

    Still no PMO, streak is intact and this is the longest ever, cravings are managed and even seeing the occacional pic does not have the power it once did. Sweet!

    Peace, brahs 8)
     
  4. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    I thank that they are probably manifestations of the same unproductive thought processes. Both are basically a manifestation of self-centered thought and excessive concern for one's immediate feelings as opposed to a longer-term view of life.
     
  5. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    The self centered part is also spot on. PMO addicts live life immaturely, as do people who are overly self centered.
     
  6. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Guys quick report...I'm back in flatline.

    And nothing seems to jar me loose from it, even sex without orgasm.

    I'm not depressed or anxious, but I have very little sex drive and even seeing images that are somewhat pornographic on my computer (not by choice) have zero effect on my arousal. I'm asexual, at least compared to my "normal" self.

    I do not find my girlfriend very sexy, and sex is just going through the motions...it feels great, sure, but there is no real drive. No dopamine buzz.

    I would say that the "no O" part of no PMO is extremely powerful in resetting our brains.

    I've been fighting this thing for over 1.5 years, but many long clean streaks and very few full relapses...but I'm still not out of the woods.

    For long time addicts (25+ years) I'm fairly certain the road to recovery is a lot longer than 90 days no matter what.

    Like I said, even hot pictures online, or on dating sites do NOTHING. And I was unusually tired yesterday as well.

    Didn't know why...duh, flatlining from no O's.

    Makes it easy to not PMO. No dopamine buzzing AT ALL from any external female form, whether 2D or 3D.

    I've read tons of other reports of guys getting libido back and then O'ing and completely losing it, along with falling back into flatline, so it's just part of the ride. Fascinating stuff really.

    The reset continues...
     
  7. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    My streak is intact, but I had a very bad start to this week.

    Here goes.

    I orgasmed with my girlfriend on Saturday night, felt fine, then went out to breakfast and drank way too much coffee...this is a big no-no for me, especially because my medication is so stimulating.

    Well, I felt anxiety/depression hit me like a ton a bricks. Then I looked at some porn. I felt almost nothing from it...basically the orgasm put me into a deeper flatline.

    One interesting thing I noticed is that I felt nothing in my head. But, when I looked at it, my dick got somewhat hard and my balls started pulsing. The cues are still there, big time.

    So, lesson learned...no peeks, no coffee, no excesses, and no orgasm for a while longer. I knew this was the case but I couldn't hold back my orgasm last Saturday. Guess why?? I drank coffee on Friday and didn't exercise.

    This whole thing is like putting the pieces of a puzzle together, building our own personal roadmap to staying off of PMO, recovering our brains, and still have a somewhat normal sex life with our partners (if we have one).

    I'm always learning.

    Exercise, by the way, is the best treatment I have found for premature ejaculation, in my case. So, if I avoid stimulants and exercise I can hold back my orgasm. The longest I've gone without orgasm is about 60 days, and I did that twice. My goal is to get a full 90 days or more in, as well as no more peeks at any 2D images...I know that set me back a tad.

    I will do it, I have an even better road map now. :)

    It's a little tricky for me because I need to take my medication for depression, which is stimulating, and I have to have sex with my girlfriend to maintain the relationship...but I cannot orgasm yet. It sends me into flatline city, and my erections and libido aren't high enough all the time for regular orgasm.

    I'm still PMO free, but need to continue to improve in cutting out O...as you can see, I have some new strategies in place. Time to test in the lab.
     
  8. Florida22

    Florida22 Member

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    No Orgasm at all for 60 days? Even with girlfriend?

    I'm trying no masturbation or PMO at all...if I get it on with a female, great...but don't want to do anything for a while by myself.

    Thoughts?
     
  9. Libertad

    Libertad Well-Known Member

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Hi 40New30,
    hope you are ok. There seems somthing wrong with your counter.
    Stay on track man. ;)
    Libertad
     
  10. Cosmo

    Cosmo These porn pretzels are making me thirsty!

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Seems to me like you've got the right approach there, FLA22. Some opinions expressed on YBOP also seem to support the idea that having sex during rebooting can be beneficial since it rewires the brain to associate pleasure with the real thing instead of porn. That make sense to me. Sometimes I think being overly prohibitive in the early stages of recovery (no sex, no sugar, no coffee, etc.) can set a person up for failure, but honestly, who am I to judge? Everyone knows what they can handle, right?
     
  11. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Hey Lib...I'm doing fine, not sure what's up with the counter, thanks boss!

    The whole O thing goes like this...if you have porn induced ED, then skip the
    orgasms. If you don't you're not as bad off and you can probably have a few.

    HOWEVER, the reboot is no PMO, no P, no M, and no 0 for at least 90 days.

    I still haven't made it that far after many months of trying. Could very well be why
    I'm not totally healed for porn induced ED yet. I have a bad case, lots of history, a sensitive brain,
    my ED goes through spurts of being much better and spurts of lifelessness. When I O
    I have a chaser effect as well as get the return of ED.

    I am a hard case, but no PMO for as long as possible is the recipe for success.

    Gabe, another hard case believes that he would have been healed by going 6 months
    no P, no M, and no O. I believe that I probably need something like this.

    I'm strung together 2 60 day stretches of no P, no M, and no O. But, I'm not all the way
    healed. However, I've relapsed to porn. Gabe never relapsed, only had some O's.

    I firmly believe that a reboot for a hard case, like me, and like almost all of you takes
    90 days (or more) clean with no peeks, no O's, no masturbation.

    Will it take most of us a while? Yes, months, maybe a few years. Sorry, but that has been my experience, and I'm further along than many. It's a hard pill to swallow but it is the truth.

    I've had some peeks at porn, I've done some edging...I have NOT however PMO'd
    in over 150 days or so...so that's the good news.

    The bad news is that my brain is hardwired to porn big time.

    Years and years and years of masturbation and porn, also have depression, a family history of alcoholism, and on and on. When I was PMOing, I was one of the worst, especially when I was not working full time...it was crippling.

    This is not easy to beat...and I think folks need to realize that 90 days of no P, no M,
    and O is often not enough. The main thing is to not look at porn...I've failed at this many times,
    and thus my pathways have lit up...these pathways are five lane super highways and
    will take time to atrophy.

    I personally think the whole young guys heal slower theory is a load of crapola.

    Imagine us older guys...we have years and years of repeated use. Sure, a teenagers brain
    is more plastic...but we have YEARS AND YEARS of wiring to porn. It matters.

    I think people need to be realistic...if we aren't realistic we'll get down on ourselves
    and we'll give up. Personally, I will never give up...but I have failed a lot and succeeded
    a lot. I'll just keep going forward.

    The best my erections ever were was about 2 months into a clean no P, no M, no O streak.
    I was getting spontaneous erections and night wood. Relapse killed it. Relapse to porn.
    Relapse to O. Relapse to M. Doesn't really matter.

    Whenever you look at porn, or masturbate or orgasm you are firing the pathways you
    want to atrophy. Get it now? That's why O's hurt us. Neurons that fire together, wire
    together. Now you've got it, Florida. No O's. Learn how to have sex and not O, your brain
    depends on it.

    Good luck, gents, you can do it.
     
  12. ghostrider

    ghostrider Member

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Good post 40n30. I'll second your theory about us older guys. Years of use takes its toll no matter your age.

    I also subscribe to the no O reboot. I know from experience how MO stalls any progress you are making by not PMO'ing. Best case it doesn't make ED worst but that's it.

    I'll be following your journal here on in.
     
  13. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    It makes sense to me, Ghost. Again, sure a teenager's brain is more malleable.
    But, we are talking about years of addiction, not a year or two.

    I was an (unknowing) addict for more than 25 years.
    Those pathways are deep and stubborn.

    I'm cool with that, I'm just saying to people that are around my age and
    "innocently" jerked to porn from thoughts, then magazines, and then the internet...
    it's going to take a while. Be cool with that.

    Younger guys have to battle a higher libido. Sure, maybe?

    I'm 40 years old...and I'm as "horny" as I was when I was in my early twenties.
    I don't see that changing for many years, if ever.

    My realistic goal for a full recovery is 2015 or 2016. (Recovery will continue to
    improve for months after staying totally clean for many.) It's all good.

    I need a full 90 days completely clean, at minimum. I've gone 60 days twice, but I say
    my brain still needs 90 to 150 days. (I've relapsed several times, it does hurt ya.)

    So, what am I doing that's new and beneficial, that will help me achieve my goal? Especially when I'm not giving up sex?

    Well, I tried SSRI's to stop O's...it works like mad...but the side effects are horrid. I'm going to back to an old combination that I learned about a few years ago.

    Listen up, my brothers.

    (MILD TRIGGER ALERT)

    When I was with my last girlfriend, a fiery Mexican girl who loved sex probably more than me,
    I went a stretch where I was running just about every day, in addition I was taking around 300mg of 5 htp for depression every day.

    This is what I'm going back to ASAP.

    When I did this I could literally (TRIGGER) pound the f'ing crap out of my scorching hot Mexican MD girlfriend to the point that she was literally exhausted from cumming super hard. She said that now she knew what it was like to be "fucked properly". And she was a nympho. I, by the way, did not cum because of the cardio + serotonin enhanced combo.

    I literally just ordered like 250 grams of 5 htp off of Amazon.

    In addition, when I was younger (and in a porn induced ED state) I took high doses of AAKG (look it up)...it was giving me spontaneous erections even when I was knee deep in porn addiction.

    Fast forward to today, there's a new bad boy of NO...called Citrulline malate. Just ordered a 3 month supply of that as well.

    My over arching points are these...I need a lot of time clean to kick this completely...no shit :)

    And, the need to NOT O is of the utmost...thus the cardio + 5 htp combo.

    I'm not giving up sex...I love sex. However, I also realize that this is going to take me A WHILE.

    For those that have gone months clean (but not perfectly) and are not fully recovered...try going back to having sex, just do everything you can not to O until you're getting night wood every night, spontaneous erections, super high libido, etc.

    I've been there in the past, it's beyond words awesome.

    This is all my own personal advice. Your best advice will come from your own experiences.
     
  14. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Really interesting read 40New30,

    I know nothing about the supplements you are taking... I take a multivitamin, fish oil and some magnesium...LOL I do enjoy the cardio and my lifting, exercise certainly gets me horny... my sexuality is only with my wife , strict no M the past 77 days just as I had done during my 8 months clean.

    I never dealt with ED, but I can certainly see what you are getting at.

    The sex without orgasm... Gary Wilson's partner Marnia has a site ... reuniting.info advocating orgasmless sex called karezza... My wife and I have tried it a few times ad both agree it is quite a refreshing change from orgasm focused activity. very connecting and intimate in a deeper way.
     
  15. chopper

    chopper IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!!

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Ive been taking citrulline with arginine in pill form from gnc but noticed very little effect. Ive found a better effect with natural forms of citrulline such as watermelon when mixed with the g's (ginger ,garlic,green tea) i also started adding blueberries and walnuts to my diet. All of these natural food sources improve circulation. Let me know how ou get on with the citrulline malate because I was thinking of buying some myself.
     
  16. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Citrulline Malate and Arginine work really, really well for me.

    But, for me...well, they help but I (sometimes) have porn induced ED. In which case, really only things like Viagra (just a tiny bit) really seems to work.

    I have a confession to make to everyone. I relapsed to P and M, no O.
    Man do I feel like shit. It was somewhat of an edging binge...it's happened like this before, so
    I shouldn't be surprised. Interestingly enough, this time I was able to NOT O.

    I'm a full blown addict and I know it. But, I'm getting better and better.
     
  17. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Hey 40new30,

    Do you know what caused the relapse/slip... were you dealing with something stressful? Old memories? Boredom?

    I think many here have used a slip to evaluate what maybe led to the point of no return...

    Anyway... I am an advocate that a relapse , although not desired by most of us, is just a part of the learning process.

    We need to focus of overall progress, very few men here have been able to streak of into the high numbers ... I have had several long streaks in the last 3 years but that did not create the magic "cure" still working on that!! LOL
     
  18. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Hey man, yeah, I know exactly what happened to cause it.

    And yes, it's been coming up on 2 years for me, and I've had awesome streaks, but haven't found the magical pill method to recovery. I think there isn't one...just stay clean, as clean as you can for as long as you can and you will heal.

    Anyway, here's what happened. I was peeking at porn...ALWAYS the first step in my relapse. Even though I feel no dopamine buzz after being clean...those peeks are the setup for relapse.

    So, there was some peeking. Next, I had an unintended orgasm with my girlfriend. Step two.

    Step three was binging on caffeine the day after the orgasm.

    My body, brain, mind, spirit, soul was sent into overdrive with anxiety.
    Next all it took was a little push...just a little one day binge.

    BAM.

    But again, I did not O. The orgasm pathways have atrophied.
    However, I edged way too much, and I can feel the pain of withdrawal.
    Not nearly as bad as withdrawal was a year ago, but major brain fog.
    I can barely read a paragraph of text without my mind racing off. It sucks.
    Slept about 4 hours last night. Etc.

    There is big time progress with each step forward I take, but it's just taking a long time. I'm back on the straight and arrow, that's the good news. And no full PMO, I'll take it.
     
  19. Libertad

    Libertad Well-Known Member

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Hi 40New30,
    only wanted to say that we are here with you, comrades in the fight, brother.
    Libertad
     
  20. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: 40 is the new 30...going for 150 to 200 days no PMO

    Thanks, Lib, I appreciate your kind friendship. I truly do, man.

    I'm past the worst of it, although I felt some anxiety last night and a little today as well, it should pass within 1 - 2 days, I suspect.

    The "damage" to my progress though will add a lot more time to my reboot, I think. But, that's ok it's all part of the process. Technically I am still PMO free...barely.

    I'm a good place, it's all good.

    Got my 5 HTP today, so I will being using it, if I can get to a place where sex and no orgasms is pretty much assured I will go far. I will not be peeking, I know why the peeking started...DATING SITES.

    This is turning into a longer post. But here is my theory, I am/was/always will be addicted to a few different things...porn, masturbation, and dating sites. These are keenly wired together.

    For me, meeting girls the old fashioned way is probably the only way forward. Yes, I know I have a girlfriend, I admit I'm not a saint, but my genetic makeup tells me to spread my seed far and wide, traditional morals and educate tells me not to, so I walk a fine line.
     

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