Don't Count Days, Just Stay Off Porn & Masturbation

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by 40New30, Nov 26, 2013.

  1. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Thanks, Lib! You're kicking serious ass! As I knew you would, you're becoming so self aware, I can feel it.

    I'm staying strong...the beast is always there; awareness and vigilance are needed for the rest of our lives. Every addict is standing next the abyss, even after years of being clean...we forget that at our own peril. Let that knowledge guide and protect us. :)
     
    Libertad likes this.
  2. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I don't believe in hijacking or in 'personal threads'...we're all in the same boat, and we're all here together. ;)

    That's a serious good question, more O's or more rest?!

    The answer burst into my mind and I think you'll like it and intuitively 'get it'. Here it is -- we need both, and it cycles back and forth. We need rest sometimes because our HPT axis overall is still healing from addiction. But we need more O's in order to rewire the brain to real sex!

    How's that for f'd up!

    I think sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to flatlines or getting symptoms again. It could just be non-linearness and the brain healing up...bottom line is to follow your intuition and more O's or less shouldn't mess things up in the long run.

    You and I have talked about 'other' health issues as being intertwined in overall healing, as well, could it be that you're healing from other insults? I wouldn't be surprised.

    Personally, I still have some pelvic alignment problems and tight groin muscles, inflammation, and I'm still healing from food allergies, gut dysbiosis and hypothyroidism. In fact, I believe these undiagnosed physical maladies drove my PMO addiction to the crazy heights it once reached. PMO was the only thing that made me feel better...I was self medicating the depression/low energy that came from the low body temperatures, and sick belly. Of course, PMO made things worse not better.

    At the end of the the day, the brain will take it's own time to heal, and it's always moving towards rewiring/healing as long as we're staying clean. But, overall health is critical...otherwise how can the brain make new neuronal connections fast enough?!

    My thing is also this, I'm very nutrient deficient in certain things...and these nutrients are needed for overall brain health; is my brain really healing at the same rate as someone who doesn't have these deficiencies? I certainly think not.

    One major deficiency I have still is zinc...I'm low as shit in it, despite 100 mg daily supplementation for a long time. And well, zinc is critical for a healthy brain and healthy neurons. It all comes together into a unified theory at that juncture -- the theory of the long rebooter -- overall brain health must coincide with PMO abstinence, as well as mass rewiring.

    Lastly, since I'm on a roll here...I think that some addict's brains need to shed all addictive substances in order to get better. I've struggled with coffee and tobacco over the past few years, but I'm currently completely off both; hopefully for good.

    These last pieces of the puzzle are important, I think. I would love to hear what you think, Reborn Again.
     
    RebornAgain likes this.
  3. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Oh and remember, jet lag is a bitch. 12 time zones. I won't be back to normal sleep for at least a few days yet...
     
  4. RebornAgain

    RebornAgain Beating my addiction one day at a time.. Staff Member

    You're right. I do like that answer haha and when you say it that way, I think you're right.

    For me personally, I've spent the last 2 and a half years rewiring HARD. Lots of O's (all through sex and all with the same woman) lots of female interaction, and lots of friend interactions.

    But its crazy that after years of "rebooting," I still had horrific withdrawal symptoms since my mini-reboot started 4o days ago since my last orgasm. Anxiety, trouble staying asleep, all the classic reboot symptoms.

    But taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture, I've seen HUGE strides socially and I'm relating to friends like I NEVER have in my life. My social life has blossomed. I'm finally owning who I am.

    But I'm STILL rebooting. It's crazy!!

    I think intuitively what I need right now is to introduce some rest and lay back on the O's. Instead of 2-3 a week like I was doing the last 2 years (all from sex) maybe scale back to once a month. See what happens.

    My gut is telling me to rest and take a step back. The whole rebooting thing is crazy isn't it? So much for 90 days :) thanks my brother. Appreciate the response.


     
  5. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I'm definitely still rebooting too, but it's a combination of healing from different maladies. ;)

    So, had some PE yesterday and probably had it the last few times I had sex. Rebooting is non-linear; as you all can attest, it was DE city for me for a long time so I suppose it's time for a swing the other way. Ha.
     
    Saville likes this.
  6. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Yep, non-linear. I can go for months now and have no PE and then boom, three times in a row I find it hard to pull the trigger. Then, the next few times I'm golden, slamming the wife like I'm 20. I can usually feel that I'm off emotionally, too. I want sex, but I'm not really feeling it in some ways.
     
    40New30 likes this.
  7. RebornAgain

    RebornAgain Beating my addiction one day at a time.. Staff Member


    It’s funny you say that. Right after that post I made, naturally I had sex 3 nights in a row with increased erection strength each night.

    And increased libido with 3 consecutive O’s and I’m fine.

    Non-linear at its finest!!! So weird.
     
    40New30 likes this.
  8. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Personally I think it takes a long, long time for the brain to balance out from PMO addiction, especially if we wired it up to P or our minds for years. I know I did. Crazy that it takes that long, but true.

    I've had PE the last three or four times after like two solid years of mostly DE. It's the type of PE where you know you're going to blow your stack within around 5 to 10 seconds...not fun. Ha.
     
  9. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Man, it is weird...but we're all experiencing the same type of thing. I think it just takes time to have our brain's completely settle in...and yes, way longer than 90 days. Maybe we are outliers? Whatever the case, the progress has always been on an upward trend. Always.
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2018
  10. Guy_Stewart

    Guy_Stewart Well-Known Member

    From my thread:

    ""All I see is progress, man. Lots of progress. Proud of you.""

    "Thanks 40New30 -- daaaaaaang...you know the exact "pleasure" button to push (if I were a rat with an electrode in my brain going to the pleasure center, I'd be shivering at this moment) -- it's called the "Proud of you" button. That was one that NEVER got pushed growing up. Hence, I suppose, the reason the food and PMO buttons rose to prominence."
     
    40New30 likes this.
  11. RebornAgain

    RebornAgain Beating my addiction one day at a time.. Staff Member


    For sure brother! I know I’m definitely an outlier because I had ZERO sexual experience and ZERO experience with women before starting porn.

    Plus I wired myself to porn during my adolescence teen years when my brain was developing the most.

    It sucks but it’s part of the deal! I have to play the hand I was dealt and deal with my decisions
     
    40New30 likes this.
  12. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Just calling it like I see it, and I am. :)
     
  13. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    And I'm an outlier because of the amount of years I was addicted + ultra long edging sessions. Agreed, no regrets...always moving forward.
     
    Saville likes this.
  14. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Orgasmed last night and had some very clear insomnia! Non-linearness.
    Feel fine today though.

    I'm clean, thank you brothers
     
    Saville, A New Man and Libertad like this.
  15. Libertad

    Libertad Well-Known Member

    Glad to hear that you are going strong, brother. We can make it!
     
    Saville likes this.
  16. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    Yup, you are meteoric happily moving along. I want and hope to do the same. Iam at almost 1 year but like you once said, the reboot is lasting with me right now at almost 1 year maybe more, no matter whatever it is it is but I know some day it will end. Happy thoughts to you bro.
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2018
    A New Man likes this.
  17. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    Does it ever end,I think it's a battle for life but does get easier,because life and us are always changing or growing and evolving and with many other drugs out there we always have to be on our guard.But being free of our drug we can evole as well.
     
    40New30 likes this.
  18. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    The last O I had frigged me up. As we get better, as we experience some of the fullness of our potential, we also are more susceptible to the vagaries of life. Nothing to do but move forward and expect good things.
     
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  19. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    Yup move foward....thats it
     
    40New30 likes this.
  20. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    All is well..working too much!
     

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