Don't Count Days, Just Stay Off Porn & Masturbation

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by 40New30, Nov 26, 2013.

  1. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Today was stressful as shit, bros.
    Old me wouldn't have lasted 30 minutes!
    I've put in a 12 hour work day and still going...no hiding. Lean into your fear.

    Soooo, I had to update my Mac OS a few days ago, and afterwards my K9 wasn't working right (gulp!) -- had 'the wife' get it back up and running for me, my porn admin.
    (She's a real peach and I'm a lucky man.)

    I probably wouldn't have bothered with this K9 business had I not relapsed 3 weeks ago; I mean after 2 years clean, I don't need that shit anymore...right?!? Well, ya know, F-that, brothers!

    Porn blockers for life, why wouldn't I add a layer of protection? My lizard brain knows why I wouldn't...and so does yours.

    I'm an addict...recovering or not. Proud addict here......and, an observant one -- many years spent observing the serpent.

    Say it loud and proud:

    I am a man.
    I am a human being.
    I am an addict.
    And, I am in recovery...grateful.
     
    dig deep, Saville and Bobo like this.
  2. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Man I'm super tired today. I think I'm gonna take it easy tonight...no thoughts of porn or PMO. :)
     
  3. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    Amazing how the thoughts of such are most active when we are tired or depressed. You would think they are not since we are in a inactive state.
     
    40New30 likes this.
  4. Libertad

    Libertad Well-Known Member

    Where do you find such a women? :(Doesn´t she have a sister?:confused: Just kidding.:) Well, maybe not.

    About PMO. It really seems right what I read ones, that we never can eliminate a habbit we ones learned. We can only shift our attention from an old to a new one, away from the PMO habbit to a new one.

    Like when we learned ones to drive a bicycle, we can never unlearn it. Even after 20 years without driving one, when we try it again we can in no time, Our brain doesnt Forget.

    You are doing great.
     
    40New30 likes this.
  5. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Depression is a huge trigger for addiction! Thankfully with my lifestyle changes and a few pills and powders I just don't get depressed anymore...of course, not using P is huge in that regard too.
     
    tricking mind likes this.
  6. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Thanks, it feels great to have messed up after a 2 year long streak and to have come out the other side quickly and without great harm. :)

    (With regards to my wife, she comes from a very religious family, and she's got a lot of compassion in her heart. That's the type of gal a guy can get actual support from, she's not your typical American woman -- thank God.)

    Absolutely right, this was the lesson I struggled with the first few years I was quitting PMO...I thought I had it beat the first few times I got to 100 days or whatever. It's a rude awakening when you relapse after like 150 days or something. I think that is the last and hardest lesson, those pathways are always there and always will be.

    But granted, if we steer clear of them and focus our attention elsewhere it's no big deal, life goes on, and we rarely notice -- but you cannot act like they're not there! We're all a few steps away from a steep cliff. It's cool, just don't walk in that direction...
     
    tricking mind and Libertad like this.
  7. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I experienced something I haven't experienced in a long time yesterday...PE, it was actually kind of welcome after months of DE. Non-linearness at play, as well as part of the healing process. :)
     

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