Don't Count Days, Just Stay Off Porn & Masturbation

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by 40New30, Nov 26, 2013.

  1. Mad Dog

    Mad Dog Well-Known Member

    Yup did the same dumbass thing !
     
    40New30 likes this.
  2. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I too was embarrassed to write about that kind of thing for several years into recovery...but the truth will set you free! I was one of the worst PMO addicts I've ever read about, and I've been sober more than not for about 7 years.

    If I remember correctly when I got comfortable talking about my past, I got better, faster. Good things are on the horizon for you!
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2018
    dig deep likes this.
  3. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Absolutely right, but it does heal! I've healed so much, so much, man. Messes with the nerves and such...also cramped up some of the muscular I think.
    It heals!

    As I've always said, get healthy in every way and you'll get better. Thanks for sharing! Together we rise up.
     
  4. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Nope, it's not a contest. Everyone conquers their demons in their own way, and in their own time...but reading posts from others guides us and teaches us all on how to do it right.
     
    A New Man, Mad Dog, dig deep and 2 others like this.
  5. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Everything is flowing well, and the ground beneath me is solid. Looks like it's true that you can get to a point in sobriety where even a bad fuck-up doesn't pull you under completely; for the first 5 years I was quitting one relapse always brought me to absolute chaos eventually.

    Just having that peace of mind, is worth a million bucks.

    I'm out of the danger zone, shoot I probably was a week ago.
     
    Libertad likes this.
  6. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I think I relapsed because I'm going into 'jump off the cliff mode' with work.
    A tiny part of me still wants to sabotage my success, guess our shadow side will always be with us.

    Make the force be with you. :eek:
     
  7. Mad Dog

    Mad Dog Well-Known Member

    No more danger zone. Cool, and peace and calm.:)
     
    40New30 likes this.
  8. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Happy Memorial Day weekend, bros!
    Let's all live the best lives we can, if we do that, there's no way we will ever stay down.

    Positive energy is the antidote to addiction...it comes in many forms. Get some!

    Baby steps -- Bob Wiley :D
     
    Libertad likes this.
  9. Mad Dog

    Mad Dog Well-Known Member

    AMEN BRO !
     
    40New30 likes this.
  10. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I'm getting the beginnings of better night wood, roughly 19 to 20 days post relapse. Stoked!
    It will be interesting when it gets back completely, hopefully another month??...before I messed up it was like a rock and woke me up from a dead sleep most nights.
     
    Saville and Mad Dog like this.
  11. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Great weekend, took about 1.5 days off!

    It's Memorial Day and I'm back working...I'm grateful for a second chance at life, grateful for this opportunity; so I'll make the most of it.
    No thoughts of PMO, or urges for PMO.
     
    Oneway, Saville and Mad Dog like this.
  12. Mad Dog

    Mad Dog Well-Known Member

    That' what most don' realize: A SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE ! NO W When you have some emotional tools to do something, to be happy, to be somber without regret, to breathe fresh air, to LIVE !
     
    40New30 and Saville like this.
  13. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    You've got to ramp up your O's once you've gone past a certain point.

    It's essential to getting better!
    O's are not the problem! Only P.

    (FYI, I had an O yesterday and I'm absolutely fine, no after effects except for a bit-larger-dose-of-sleepy for a couple of hours. Even 3 weeks post relapse.)

    I can feel the O's retraining my brain...therefore, I must do my duty.

    Sgt. O reporting for duty, ma'am.

    o_O

    Lame.
    So lame.
     
    Mad Dog and A New Man like this.
  14. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Today was stressful as shit, bros.
    Old me wouldn't have lasted 30 minutes!
    I've put in a 12 hour work day and still going...no hiding. Lean into your fear.

    Soooo, I had to update my Mac OS a few days ago, and afterwards my K9 wasn't working right (gulp!) -- had 'the wife' get it back up and running for me, my porn admin.
    (She's a real peach and I'm a lucky man.)

    I probably wouldn't have bothered with this K9 business had I not relapsed 3 weeks ago; I mean after 2 years clean, I don't need that shit anymore...right?!? Well, ya know, F-that, brothers!

    Porn blockers for life, why wouldn't I add a layer of protection? My lizard brain knows why I wouldn't...and so does yours.

    I'm an addict...recovering or not. Proud addict here......and, an observant one -- many years spent observing the serpent.

    Say it loud and proud:

    I am a man.
    I am a human being.
    I am an addict.
    And, I am in recovery...grateful.
     
    dig deep, Saville and Mad Dog like this.
  15. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Man I'm super tired today. I think I'm gonna take it easy tonight...no thoughts of porn or PMO. :)
     
  16. Mad Dog

    Mad Dog Well-Known Member

    Amazing how the thoughts of such are most active when we are tired or depressed. You would think they are not since we are in a inactive state.
     
    40New30 likes this.
  17. Libertad

    Libertad Well-Known Member

    Where do you find such a women? :(Doesn´t she have a sister?:confused: Just kidding.:) Well, maybe not.

    About PMO. It really seems right what I read ones, that we never can eliminate a habbit we ones learned. We can only shift our attention from an old to a new one, away from the PMO habbit to a new one.

    Like when we learned ones to drive a bicycle, we can never unlearn it. Even after 20 years without driving one, when we try it again we can in no time, Our brain doesnt Forget.

    You are doing great.
     
    40New30 likes this.
  18. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Depression is a huge trigger for addiction! Thankfully with my lifestyle changes and a few pills and powders I just don't get depressed anymore...of course, not using P is huge in that regard too.
     
    tricking mind likes this.
  19. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Thanks, it feels great to have messed up after a 2 year long streak and to have come out the other side quickly and without great harm. :)

    (With regards to my wife, she comes from a very religious family, and she's got a lot of compassion in her heart. That's the type of gal a guy can get actual support from, she's not your typical American woman -- thank God.)

    Absolutely right, this was the lesson I struggled with the first few years I was quitting PMO...I thought I had it beat the first few times I got to 100 days or whatever. It's a rude awakening when you relapse after like 150 days or something. I think that is the last and hardest lesson, those pathways are always there and always will be.

    But granted, if we steer clear of them and focus our attention elsewhere it's no big deal, life goes on, and we rarely notice -- but you cannot act like they're not there! We're all a few steps away from a steep cliff. It's cool, just don't walk in that direction...
     
    tricking mind and Libertad like this.

Share This Page