Don’t Give Porn More Power Than It Should Have

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Manly Man, Apr 2, 2019.

  1. Manly Man

    Manly Man New Member

    EDIT: This is an excerpt from the Art of Manliness blog. I do not own this article. I highly recommend reading their blog.

    “When you characterize porn as an addiction it tells you that it is hard to break free, that it is a struggle, that relapse is inevitable — all things that have nothing to do with porn. But when you characterize online porn as junk food, the solution is obvious: don’t eat it.” – The Last Psychiatrist

    It’s popular to conjure up images of porn being an unbeatable dark monster/plague/pandemic/war that must be fought tooth and nail and if you succumb to it, you’re destined to becoming a goat rapist, or something. But I don’t think that mindset is very helpful. In fact, firebrand rhetoric like that can actually backfire. Research suggests that this sort of simplistic, over-the-top rhetoric was the big reason the D.A.R.E. Program failed to reduce drug use amongst American teenagers back in the 80s and 90s. One study even showed that compared to middle schoolers who didn’t take part in the program, D.A.R.E. students showed an increase in the use of drugs! D.A.R.E inadvertently made drugs alluring by giving them the aura of “forbidden fruit,” tempting kids who otherwise wouldn’t have given drugs much thought.

    I think we can and should do something similar with porn. Instead of seeming like some mysterious, menacing, unstoppable force, your attraction for porn is revealed as a perfectly natural drive that’s been hijacked by a supernormal reproductive and evolutionary reinforcer.

    Once you understand the science behind porn use, you can see it for what it really is: sexual junk food. You don’t give your bag of potato chips a menacing aura of power. They’re just potato chips. If you want to quit eating potato chips, you learn about the different ways carbs vs. protein and veggies affects your body, you throw away your potato chips, you quit going down the potato chip aisle in the grocery store, and you choose the celery stick at the party. Try doing the same thing with internet pornography.

    I know some might think that’s a flippant comparison, particularly if they’ve seen porn destroy marriages and relationships, but I think understanding the problem and making it approachable is truly the key to success here. It puts you in a proactive place where you can confidently start taking steps to kick the habit.

    There’s wisdom in following the advice of the 17th century Jesuit priest Baltasar Gracian: Undertake what’s easy as if it were hard, and what’s hard as if it were easy.
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2019 at 11:51 AM
  2. Perigee

    Perigee Member

    I see your point and mostly agree with it however I do think it's important to realize how addicting porn is and how the cyclic trap can prevent you from ever escaping from it. A lot of people think porn is just a "bad habit", and similarly if you characterize it as a "junk food" sort of thing you might have too casual of an attitude and simply think that using willpower will be enough.

    You have to recognize it as an addiction without blowing it out of proportion. The reality is that porn addiction IS a serious problem, however the process of quitting does not involve "blood sweat and tears" as so many people make it out to be.
     
    Brit_91_kd and VJONW like this.
  3. VJONW

    VJONW New Member

    I agree.
    I like this
     
  4. Manly Man

    Manly Man New Member

    Yeah. It can be characterized like this : take the necessary drastic steps in your life to quit porn but do not view porn as a fantastical nightmare.
     
  5. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    What the Man says is true. Porn addiction is a trained brain reaction. Becoming unaddicted is, also, a trained brain condition. If you make porn addiction and "epic" problem, it will require an epic solution. On the other hand, if you shrink the problem, the solution also becomes small. The solution is retraining your brain to live without a porn induced dopamine hit. Pretty simple, pretty small.
     
    Pete McVries and VJONW like this.
  6. VJONW

    VJONW New Member

    Yep, love that.
    Pretty simple, pretty small.
    I have found that telling myself, “yo, this porn stuff is really EZ to quit. I’m just going to replace and rewire, rewire, rewire!” Helps a lot.
     
  7. novamh

    novamh New Member

    Quick note: Fairly sure this is an excerpt from the Art of Manliness blogpost on porn addiction, and if you guys like this, the full article is worth a read.

    I am sure you meant well, but credit where credit is due, plus the full article will be of further help, yeah?

    EDIT:
    Whoops, was looking for the article in question before posting this and then clicked post. Human error, human error.
    Anyways, the main article seems to have been turned into an eBook at this point, which is...well, good for them I guess, people need to earn and there was good content in that.
    No matter, best of efforts to everyone here! Live well and so on~!
     
  8. Manly Man

    Manly Man New Member

    Last edited: Apr 19, 2019 at 11:58 PM

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