Doing pretty good

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by brandnewbrain, May 10, 2012.

  1. brandnewbrain

    brandnewbrain New Member

    Hey, I am pretty new to all this stuff. I started reading things on yourbrainonporn, and have since stopped all porn use. It's been about a month, I think. I have actually been very lucky, in that I have not really had any urges to watch porn. I used to masturbate with porn on a daily basis. Usually more than once. This pretty much was how it was from age 12 to 21. There was a period of a couple years from 14-16 that I did not have regular access to porn, and maybe that break is a reason this has been so easy so far.

    I started masturbating after a couple weeks porn free. I do it much less often than I used to (every couple of days now vs. 2-3 times per day before). During the first couple weeks I was seeing a girl, and we had sex a couple times. It was difficult for me to really feel anything at all, so orgasm took a long time. We have since broke up (that wasn't the only reason), but I am very motivated to continue going without porn, as I have felt much better about my sexual self since ceasing. When I masturbate now, it's entirely without visual aids. I have lessened my grip substantially and am having the best orgasms, well, ever. I also feel better about working out and eating better.

    During sex I sometimes find it hard to maintain erections, but use my other... skills to live the girl satisfied. I, on the other hand, may leave the session blue-balled and generally disappointed. A big low for me was having to watch porn while my girlfriend at the time helped me out. I mean, at the time it was awesome, but that is no way to have a relationship with someone.

    My confidence with women in general varies. I go through phases where I am on the hunt and constantly seeking female attention. These are generally cynical periods where I have been hurt by a failed relationship and seek confidence boosts. Right now, I am somewhat in one of those periods. I haven't been with anyone since the last girl I was seeing, but am not anxious to have sex again with someone new. I am more anxious to meet girls right now, and just generally boost my comfortability with my approach.

    I know that it is suggested to not masturbate, but I don't feel that it is necessary. I am sure some of you will disagree.

    Anyway, my goals are:

    To stop all porn use. (4 weeks and counting)

    To improve my interactions with people, especially women.

    And to enjoy the functionality of my new brain. (Hence my username)
  2. gavney

    gavney Active Member

    Hey brandnewbrain,

    Great to hear you're doing well. And I think it's fantastic that you discovered YBOP at your age when you've your best days ahead of you.

    Best advice I can give to you at the age of 21, is to NOT listen to your friends or anyone else who says there's nothing wrong with porn. Guys at that age will always laugh at the idea that porn can be bad. However, you're feeling better without porn, so that's all the justification you need! I would even suggest NOT mentioning this to any of your friends - keep it to yourself and let the results speak for themselves.

    Some of the biggest mistakes I've made in life have been from listening to some idiot "friends".

    Best of luck
  3. brandnewbrain

    brandnewbrain New Member

    Thank you for your response. I've actually told a lot of people already. The idea is so exciting. Making it public also, I think, makes it more of a commitment. Like I don't want to fail because then it'll be known that I did. Some people have made fun of me for it, but I don't really care. I explained it to one guy who told me used to have a drug problem, "you quit Ecstasy, I quit porn."
  4. brandnewbrain

    brandnewbrain New Member


    Lasted 2 months, 1 week.

    Shitty. Oh well, back to basics. Haven't had sex in over a month and it was getting to me. Any good porn blockers for mac?
  5. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Yes, you are doing really well. I agree with gavney, I have FB friends who sent porn photos when I used to be in groups with them, I tried to tell them I'm quitting porn and I really think I don't wanna see those images anymore, but they still did it, one of them even tried to quit porn, then relapsed at day 11, because he felt miserable without it (what an idiot, huh), then recently, he began telling me I should go back to porn, because he thought my confidence was getting worse since I developed a distaste for porn, and hated relapsing (I learned to roll with the punches though), and claims I lost myself ever since I been trying to quit PMO. Well, in retrospect, those guys are sadly mistaken. One is 20 (I'm also 20, but he's 9 months younger than me), the other two who are brothers are 42 and 62, we're all weightlifters (we used to talk about weightlifting and our personal life most of the time). Anyway, 3 days ago after the last relapse, I decided to delete the groups, and start disliking every page containing even a hint of porn or artificial sexual stimulation, and turning on SafeSearches on Flickr/Yahoo, Youtube and Google. I sent them a PM, and the young one was begging me to come back to the group, I respectfully refused, so he told me, when I find myself, I come back to them. So earlier today, I found that even after I shared a couple of my lifting videos on the PM, none of them even replied (especially apparently because they hadn't bothered contacting me since I dropped myself from the groups, and even deleted my own), even after I said "some friends you are, might as well unfriend me on Facebook and unsubscribed to my Youtube channel). So I figured if they don't respond by midnight--which it is now!-- I'm unfriending them. The point is, you should never listen to even your friends if they tell you that porn is okay, I especially lost a little respect for the young one who tried telling me to come back to the group so that they could possibly still be posting the pics or videos of anything inappropriate for me, potential triggers, even when he claims they were no longer gonna do that (I'm glad I'm never listening to him again)

    And by the way, welcome to the boards, brandnewbrain. It's all right to relapse, just learn from the mistakes and keep trucking my friend.
  6. Martin

    Martin ͯ͛̃̈̀̔ ͑ͨ̏͋ ̽̔̇̋ ̒̎͊̎̍

    So some people make fun of you, others simply don't care (who would consider porn as a drug?)—doesn't your commitment in public make it harder for you?
    If someone would have approached me earlier and told me he wants to stop watching porn I would have answered something like "stupid" or "whatever".
    The only people that know about my plan so far are here in this forum. And I'm sure 98% of the users here would answer "porn, yikes!"
    I might tell one friend because he asked me if I also felt less libido because of drinking. I don't think he and I have increased the use of alcohol over the last 5 years so he might also have a porn problem.
  7. Keep it up! literally
  8. brandnewbrain

    brandnewbrain New Member

    Thank you all for your responses. As for the question of why I mention my reboot to friends is... well, this is a topic we don't know to talk about, and a lot of people have seemed very surprised when I reveal to them that porn can be bad for you. I think this would be harder for me if I hadn't told anyone, because than I would only be failing myself if I relapsed. Publicizing it (obviously to a minimal degree) legitimizes the exercise for me. I am not sure if it would work for others, but for me, well, it has. Or it was at least. We'll see how I do!

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