Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by APA, Oct 30, 2015.

  1. APA

    APA Member

    The reason why i am writing this is because many of my years have been wasted by following this false perception that this addiction cannot be defeated and life without pmo is not possible. This is what i used to hear from my friends and almost everybody in my friend's circle was doing this so I also thought it was normal.

    I wont go into the personal details but just would say one thing that i was turning into a looser and I started this journey from a very low point in my life. With just a little sacrifice I got soo much that I sometimes think that i am living a dream. I fuelled my determinations with my frustrations and failures. Adversity causes some men to break and others to break records.

    I have been on complete hard mode in these days my mind has rationalized , my heart is purer, I look at women with respect, I am respected among my peers for my hard work and dedication and i am discovering my hidden interests . My confidence is high almost 24 /7 . I am not afraid of anybody and can stand up for the right thing for myself and others. All these things didn't happened overnight it takes patience , time and consistency. I wanted to get rid of this really bad, i was broken so i took the decision.

    I took it as a personal development journal and I focused on my other flaws too along with pmo.
    1. Faith in GOD and the guidance of the Prophet (saw).
    2. Not wasting time , keeping myself busy .
    3. k9 web protection ( i used it initially but left it after i was quite stable.
    4. Prayers (meditation).
    5. Exercising.
    6. Socializing positively ( I had to force myself initially than it got easy).

    Link to my journal ,
  2. wojtekoxx

    wojtekoxx One-armed bandit

    1. Faith in GOD and the guidance of the Prophet (saw).

    saw as if in you saw something ? Lol my english is telling me saw is past tense from see, so?
  3. Giuseppe Garibaldi

    Giuseppe Garibaldi [url=

    Thank you for sharing.Yes,a life without PMO addiction is possible and much better.I think this is right for any kind of addiction.
  4. APA

    APA Member

    @wojtekoxx , (saw) is the short for (Salal lahu alye he wa aley he wasalam) in English it means peace be upon him .
    @Giuseppe Garibaldi , Thanks for the appreciation.
  5. Newnes

    Newnes Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey Underdogg,

    Congrats on making it to 200 days! That's awesome. I have a question on this:

    What do you mean by that? My main problem is that I have sort of some interests (mainly readings), but I just don't feel like taking on hobbies as I should, and I'm kind of confused about it.
  6. APA

    APA Member

    Thank you very much for your appreciation, sorry for the late reply i was just busy in some stuff .
    Now the answer to your question is when I was heavily into pmo it wasted a lot of my time usually 1.30hrs to 3 hrs.
    I was lacking behind in life , my energy was drained, my focus was very weak I had a wandering mind, I had an occupied heart , I was feeble emotionally and physically and had an occupied heart.
    When I kicked this habit out with this mindset that pmo is not an option any more. I than had a lot of time and energy that i started utilizing positively . My mind started rationalizing. I think these are the brain changes that were occurring . I was becoming clearer and it was like i had just woke up from a nightmare.
    I started thinking that i have wasted a lot of my time already so i wont waste a single second from now onwards. So the first flaw that I detected was wasting time, secondly i used to be a constant learner as my focus increased i was again attracted towards the good books. Reading creates depth in a person. The real knowledge is in the books. In a discussion a reader and a non reader can be differentiated because of there maturity and selection of words .
    Finally , as the confidence level increase you are willing to try any and every thing because you have a clear concious and can look the other person in there eyes . I am a YES man now i socalize with diverse people and try every thing within limits.
    Motivational piece of material that i went through that i believe is very benifical and needs be be shared.

    “What would become of a sea captain who whenever he saw a fog settling down on the waters, or a storm coming up, would turn his ship around and sail back to the port he had left? You know he would lose his job and be branded as an incompetent and a coward. Every sea captain keeps his ship true to the compass and he plows through fogs, storms or hurricanes to his distant goal. You are the captain of your life ship, and it is up to you to bring it into port grandly. If you haven’t the qualities of a good sea captain your ship is in danger.

    Downright hard work, a purpose which never flags, a grit and nerve which never retreat; these are the qualities that make life victorious.”

    —Orison Swett Marden from Making Life a Masterpiece
  7. @Underdog

    This is a great post man, I wanted to let you know that your posts have helped me change my outlook on how to approach recovery. This one in particular --> I have some severe ED, but I'm working on changing my life now instead of only focusing on abstinence. I've realized I want more and want to strive for more in my life and my relationships.

    Thanks again, and keep doing what you're doing!
  8. APA

    APA Member

    @DazedandConfuzed Thanks for your appreciation but I am not the 'theunderdogg' how is the administrator of ybr and posts the useful informations , i am 'underdogg' just a normal member trying to help myself and sometimes others to stay away from pmo and fantasy.
  9. @underdogg My bad Lolz, either way keep on keepin on dude!
  10. APA

    APA Member

    I was having a discussion with a person and than we started talking about pornography . He was very offended when i said porn is dangerous and addictive. He lashed out on me . I am not quite good in debating and arguing so i thought to myself this is turning into such an argument that will benefit nobody. But my inner concious whispered that you are on the right side and you know the facts so just educate him about them that is all you can do . So i started telling him all that i know and have experienced. How it effects our brain,heart, body and sexual strength. How it has given people Ed and premature ejaculation problems . How it has wasted people's life and career e.t.c .
    Amazingly he was totaly convinced and even talked to me about quitting porn . I felt great this was the first time i kind of openly talked about this thing .
  11. APA

    APA Member

    An important aspect of reboot unveiled to me recently that I would like to share on this forum.
    * Never replay the past scenes in your mind. If the past scenes are replayed in our mind it will make us want to do that again and will only cause us more pain. So we must BURN OUR PAST to start a new beginning .
    'May the bridges I burn light the way.'
    * There are three phases as i have understood while on this journey.
    Phase A.
    The superman feeling, confidence is sky high, Porn fantasies and urges are not an issue any more. Ready take on any challenges in life.
    Phase B.
    stuck in between , urges strike, sluggishness, daily work performance is low, struggling with urges, the goals becomes unclear.
    Phase C.
    Hopelessness and despair, circle of addiction continues , self esteem is dangerously low, no way out , mood swings,
    For me for past 300 + days i have not been in Phase c , but i was surely driven four five times to phase b. But when i analysed what caused me to slip from the legendary phase A to phase B, there is some shortcoming from my side . The key to jump back to phase A is to never give up along with,
    1. Catch the immoral thought early, keep the mind clear and respect the opposite genders. A simple thought turns into a big monster that takes control over us.
    2. Wasting time . This is very crucial . For me wasting time and loosing focus is the first step towards doom.
    3. Playing the past mistakes in our mind . Forget the past and move forward . Our God forgives ALL sins and mistakes and we should learn from our mistakes and bury them 100 feet deep and move forward in improving our present.
    ronkumar likes this.
  12. kira

    kira Member

    This is great! Thanks underdog. I too have problems with wasting time and procrastinating.

    This has led to me not enjoying my life with friends/family nor doing something productive with my life.

    How did you start managing your time efficiently? I know it gets easier later on. I feel like I am addicted to wasting time and feeling bad about it later. This results in low confidence.
  13. APA

    APA Member

    Sorry for the late reply . Remember the thumb rule wasting time is the first step towards pmo and fantasy. Have proper goals for everyday . I usually keep a small diary with me that helps me a lot. I would recommend to avoid aimeless internet and youtube surfing (if you do) because it has damaged my self discipline a lot.
    This link will help :).
    ronkumar likes this.
  14. kira

    kira Member

    Will check out the link, thanks :)

    I am experiencing all the things you mentioned above. How long did it take for you to see any difference?
  15. APA

    APA Member

    @kira Intial changes from day 40 onwards , significant changes after 150 + days .
  16. APA

    APA Member

    For lots of days i have been consistent and did no dirty thinking at all . Achieved a major milestone in my life would not be able to do that with this addiction . I have achieved steadfastness only through the mercy of Allah , I sometimes feel that i should have left this addiction long ago but than again feeling of gratitude comes in my heart that finally i am FREE and still I manged to get out of this at the right time & stage in my life. 'It's never too late to be what you might have been' . George Eliot
  17. koolman

    koolman Member

    Good job underdog

    can you tell me how you got this far what helped you I whent through your journal it was great lots of close calls but you made it alhamdulilah what helped you make it this far?
  18. John32

    John32 Member

    Thank you so much for sharing your story.

    Just two quick questions:

    1. When did you start experiencing changes and was it a gradual experience or did you wake up one day cured?
    2. I have been struggling with social anxiety, not just the opposite sex but everyone. How did you approach this problem if you encountered it? I know there are no set guidelines or tips to this but I would appreciate your advise
  19. APA

    APA Member

    Hello John,
    It was a gradual experience , crossing the first 90 days were difficult . Never Give up keep getting back up when you stumble , use your bad experiences to ignite your will power. It depends on us what we relate pain and pleasure to. It is not like a person becomes totally asexual just the body adjust itself differently wet dreams becomes very frequent . Even after being cured you could still stumble but the level of it would be very different for example if before you relapsed by watching a porn movie , now the thought of watching a clip with a bad scene in a movie will be a stumble . Even a thought like that would be very rare and you may encounter this after months so you have to get yourself up and move ahead the mind becomes rational and don't get trapped easily after you are stable in the reboot.
    I had issues with social anxiety at some point in my life too. It is more related with low self esteem as in my case . So the cure is make your privacy pure , be the best when you are alone . According to what i have analysed social anxiety was due to dual characters that i was playing . When i was alone i was wasting time and watching porn . But when i was people i used to carry myself as a decent person so this contradiction creates a guilt in me that resulted in the fear of people.
    Social anxiety will go away within first 90 days believe me on this if you guarantee me that you will leave porn , mastraubation and dirty thinking , just try a 90 days challenge in your life this would be refreshing.
    I wrote all this because i have been there in the hole and I know how it holds us back in life . Still have to remain vigilant otherwise could get back into this addiction gradually as i gradually moved away from it .
  20. APA

    APA Member

    I have been almost in Phase A which i mentioned in my earlier post for more than 6 months . I have developed a more maturer outlook towards the reboot . I was just thinking about the journal that motivated me to document my journey of WAR AGAINST PORN. I donot want that precious journal to just disappear from people's sight.
    So here it is journal of parasite (a complete doze of motivation) that ignited the fire in me.

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