Aww man, so cool to be approaching 50 days of no porn! Lots of little moments of happiness along the way. This is also day 3 of some white knuckling to not FMO. The urges are strong, but as I've pushed through the past few days the urges would be completely gone later on in the day. There is some great joy here in the beginning of the Christmas season to be free of the darkness that porn brings to my life. @Gil79 , I've been chewing on your comments. It's a big challenge to me (in a good way) and it's exactly the opposite of how I've been addressing PMO as I've actively been in recovery. Character defects is "12 step talk", and I've found it very helpful to be aware of my weaknesses and defects. Not to wallow in shame or defeat, but instead to understand where PMO comes from for me. Inherent weaknesses and defects of character come from unresolved trauma (verbal and some physical abuse from my mom and neglect from my Dad). I dealt with that trauma in a very unhealthy way using PMO for so long that it became an ingrained addiction and bad coping mechanism for years. This forum has also showed me how dopamine was another factor in all of that. I don't see any other realistic way to view all of this despite your challenge @Gil79 , but I'd welcome your perspective and feedback. I do agree that I should be kind and good to myself and not dwell in negativity and beating myself up. I'm confident that I'm not doing this when I'm honestly assessing my weaknesses and the things that are wrong about my character that have led me to PMO.