thanks @Lowdo . You're perspective is golden. I really appreciate you sharing what works based on all the time and work you've invested in your recovery. I completely agree about the unhappiness and loss that PMO brings being one of the biggest motivators. The harm PMO does to my mental health over the last few months has been devastating to me. The expression "sick and tired of being sick and tired" comes to mind. Where you've moved on from the binge and purge cycle of PMO to having reached a point where the hurt and the pain are just too much to bear anymore. And it's a great fuel for recovery when you feel it in your heart and not just intellectualize the PMO is bad. Of course, the urges will come, and most times recently it hasn't been discouraging. In fact when I'm in a healthy place I actually like the feeling briefly. I feel alive when I quickly recognize an internal urge or briefly notice an attractive girl that I just saw. Like other's have stated, "surf the urge" and let it pass you buy. But like you said, at that point, some warning lights come on. My character flaws and insecurities come up, especially if I'm particularly weak or troubled at the time. Why can't my wife be that fit? Why shouldn't I stare longer at the attractive girl? Why shouldn't I check out of life for a while and find more attractive pics on social media? Why shouldn't I use my time home alone to binge out? All of that unhealthy thinking can spring from just a brief urge or encounter. And that's where all the work, knowledge, time spent here journaling and reading other's journals comes in. How will I react to the urge or encounter when it happens?