Also, don't you ever forget, there's light at the end of this tunnel. The reptilian part of your brain is fighting against the one that is responsible to drag you back into a "horny and then sad teenager" state. These ups and downs are normal, but, as you were saying, the way is through. Remember your brothers that have no other release than a wet dream that sometimes takes 3 months (exactly 90 days in my case when I started this streak! crazy!) to come, and think how much more blessed you are. If they are able to endure, so do you. You are a good man, I can tell.