i know not an excuse but this am snuggled with my wife after over 30 days and last failed attempt at sex due to PIED. i thought i was ready after this long streak, long for me anyway. same result. my little friend didn't wake up. frustrated. upset. shameful. went to my old reliable PMO. i rationalized needed release. rationalized it really wasn't relapse because i tried with y wife first. same bs excuses. it is still a relapse. damn. start again. thank you for letting me have my pity party. have 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason. will listen for a while.