Determined to Live; Failure is not an Option

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by rcfergie5, Jun 1, 2012.

  1. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Thanks! What motivated me to last that long is the fact that I had ED at the time and I needed to avoid porn for good, just to recover from that, because that depressed me.. I was 20 and I found that pathetic. That's also what started to turn my life around for the better, and now I'm living a pretty positive life. Now I replaced porn and masturbation, with bodybuilding (to have a moderately big, but lean and ripped physique. And I'm getting there) lol
  2. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Day 442/370

    So far, I'm not only losing body fat, but water retention, day by day. That motivates me to look even better. I think that even replaced my porn and masturbation addictions, like I just said the last post lol Not only do I look better, I actually feel better about myself, and I'm very healthy at 220lbs compared to my heaviest weight of 260lbs, and I don't care how much weaker I got, as long as I look and feel better. And so far, I hadn't even thought about masturbating, at all, and I have nearly no doubt that I will make the long-awaited 100 days, and make the ultimate goal of one full year.

    I have to say, my attitude also took a turn for the better, partly due to the fact I'm getting in better shape, and also partly due to the fact I've kept my job for over 3 weeks, and learned to take constructive criticism properly.
  3. Sexual-healing

    Sexual-healing Face it, to overcome it.

    Hey bud!

    How are you? Congrats on the full year man! That's amazing!
  4. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Glad to see you posting again! And thanks! No doubt the second year off porn, and the first year of NoFap will be even more amazing. :)
  5. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Day 443/371

    On my 30-minute break, and I have also been easing off a lot on exercising for the entire week, because I'm aching. I am still managing to get slimmer, though.

    And I am addicted to drinking water now, and everything I can do to feel good about myself. At least I also realize now ya can't always work you hardest, sometimes you have to take it easy. PS, weening off caffeine also made me exhausted, but I'm not complaining, I will get through it, then next time I drink caffeine, I learn to cycle.
  6. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Day 444/372

    I weighed myself, and was 220 1/2 lbs wearing a tank top and swim shorts, and take away the clothes by a couple pounds, and my real bodyweight is about 218! Yes. 8 lbs away from my goal. I can't wait to get there.

    My attitude as well as my diet and fitness routine are coming together. After i did 65 minutes of slow easy walking, I've currently been in the sauna for 15 minutes, and I plan to be in there until the 30 minutes are up. I'm drinking lots of water while I'm at it haha.
  7. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Day 445/373

    Third day on high calories, and I'm seeing a difference in my body(especially considering I consumed a total of 5,000 calories yesterday!), then tomorrow is a low calorie day, consuming only 1,800 calories, to burn fat quicker than ever before. Called the Zigzag Calorie diet, I just tried it this week and so far I'm beginning to see it's effects, and I'm gonna keep on going with the calorie cycling. I'm still doing IF, also.
  8. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Update: Even on my quiet days, I'm still genuinely enjoying myself. If I didn't start cutting weight, I never would feel better about myself, because I realize now I don't want to look like a pro bodybuilder or any gigantic dude, for that matter. I'm already really tall (6'4"), and when I hit 210lbs, I will become a hybrid of the fitness model and bodybuilder physiques; plenty big but not bulky, definitely lean and ripped. Another thing I noticed is that I seem to be treated better when I love myself.
  9. CleanHands

    CleanHands Guest

    So you're aiming for more of a swimmer-like physique? Girls love that. Ripped but not too much ;)
  10. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    idk about swimmer-type physique, cuz I've seen some swimmers with shit-ass flabby physiques lol then again there are many swimmers that are lean, anyway. But every fitness model has that look, for sure. :)
  11. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Day 447/375

    Today I just woke up and realized, not only do I not connect with many people on the friendship aspect (I find most people-- even those interested in bodybuilding like me-- boring), I also do not find too many girls sexually attractive, no matter how pretty they are (that's right, you heard me).. So I've come to the conclusion that looks alone aren't everything in the sexual department, and that it takes more than a common activity to make friends with people (to me, either you have it or you don't)... And I'm more than okay with the reality of my nature. I'd rather just focus on keeping in great shape, than waste my time and effort trying to connect with people in anyway, when in reality, deep down inside, that simply will never be. I had been miserable partly because of that. Now I'm perfectly happy connecting with very few people in my life, so I shall make an effort to keep those people, and leave the rest out. Forget trying to be this Mr. Outgoing man.

    Plus I quickly learned the zigzag diet method takes some self-discipline, commitment to even count calories day-by-day, to stick with it. But at the same time, I'm getting the hang of it. I made an entire lunch for myself, and ate one thing every couple hours until I consumed as many--or few-- calories as I planned.
  12. JJ

    JJ New Member

    Totally agree with you. Sexuality is much more complicated that consumerism and media would have us believe. I think in some instances we need a genuine connection to get our libidos going. I believe porn so easily turns us on because we feel safe doing it and it's completely within our realm of control. I think the trick is to find a person you feel safe with and who you don't mind giving up control of the situation to at risk of making oneself vulnerable to judgment etc. I think it all boils down to a fear of rejection.

    Sounds like you are on the right path! Friendships are important. Don't feel that you have to be best friends with every new person you meet. Everyone's ideologies aren't gonna match up with your own all the time. Just treat people with respect and keep an eye out for the people you do form a bond with--whether it be friendship or romance.
  13. Red_Raja

    Red_Raja New Member

    Agreed entirely. This one amazing girl was just my personality type, sweet, kind hard working (comes from a hungarian background), a little shy but it made her cute, except she was a legit 7/10 - I wanted her SO badly for more than just sex. No girl is the "perfect innocent" in todays society, but she was the closest thing to it, and she was three years older and a virgin.

    At the same time, a great friend of mine at the time was a legit 8/10, she was a major slut but had a good personality (abused as a kid, fatherless). Despite her personality being "good", she didn't have all the traits that just get me going and I had only a superficial sexual attraction with her, except we got along like best buddies (she was bisexual). Anyway, the relationship here was like Jerry and Elaine from Seinfeld, almost purely plutonic and it was great.

    Not saying I wouldn't have smashed, and if fact I did get an offer, but the fact that she was slutty kind of turned me away - I'm not that type of dude. Plus I had PIED lol.
  14. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    yeah because I have no romantic interest whatsoever, I believe romance and sexuality are not exactly the same thing but they can be similar, depending on your POV.. Plus I already treat a lot of people with respect and dignity, I don't try to be rude when I let them know I'm not interested in being even their buddy. I am confident I will find more people I can genuinely connect with (like you said, whether it be friendship, or romance, or sex, or whatever) thanks for the advice regardless Double J.
  15. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Day 449/377

    I'm getting to know myself better, day by day. And now I'm really knowing which people I'm interested in or not interested in, when I'm talking to them. I can tell by the way I listen to them. And even most people I've known for years do not interest me at all. So I figure, why be friends with them if you have no connection amongst yourselves? Now I see there really is nothing wrong with me at all. It's just who I am, and I intend to be exactly how I feel in every situation; whether I'm comfortable or not, bored or intrigued, I would know.

    It's funny how most people try to hang out with everybody and most guys try to believe that every girl is attractive just because she's pretty or what lol talk about "this bullshit pressure" (as Jim Levenstein would put it haha).
  16. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Hey man interesting approach on the focusing on a select group of people, since I always feel that the greatest joy brings me if I know a lot of people (given that some are closer than others.) About the girls, yeah I totally get that girls can be stunning and are not that attractive to you, I have the same thing. Vibe is the most important thing, not looks. Best of luck with everything!
  17. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    This on the bold words.

    The entire quote here, makes me feel good to know that there are people like me who think the same way. Fact is, I've had a few girls in my life turn me on and give me a boner, and they weren't even technically the most stunning girls I met, although they weren't butt-ugly, either.. So it really is the vibe. On top of that, porn sure fools all other guys watching it into thinking that looks make them the most-attractive lol really, they don't know for squat the difference between being good-looking, and being attractive.

    Also, I appreciate your support as always Triple V.
  18. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Appreciate you appreciating my comment, and yeah I think it's part of 'cool' guy nature now to hit on the girls with the prettiest face, biggest boobs etc.. But in the end looks aren't that important. Even read an article saying that when it comes to longer relationships looks are far less important than when it comes to one night stands, I guess that says it all... (and probably most ONS actually come about after impaired sight after a couple of drinks.)
  19. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    While I agree with that theory, I'm not at all interested in commitment, I'd rather have casual sex or one night stands... But due to my higher standards than most dudes, she has to be attractive to me in another sense than just looks and even personality. There HAS to be a connection between us. Otherwise, it won't happen. Sex is definitely not the most important thing in a man's life, though, for sure. All that matters is that he enjoys himself moment by moment.
  20. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Day 450/378

    Nothing to report, except I got work from 5 pm to 9 pm and I will be seeing some fireworks, then. Happy July 4, everyone.

    Ps, I'm in a sauna in a towel as I'm typing this haha just finished my 45-minute cardio workout on the cross ramp, and after the first 10 minutes, I did one minute high intensity, two minute low intensity intervals, with the last 5 minutes being a four minute moderate intensity and one minute high intensity.

    Before then I did 7 sets of 35x12 on dumbbell rows, only lying on the bench on the stomach, 7 sets of lat pulldowns with 100 and 120x12, 140 and 160x10, 180 and 200x8, and 100x15, 5 sets of 5 pull ups, and 7 sets of tricep kickbacks with 10x15 four sets, and 20x10 three sets.. All were focusing on mind-muscle connection rather than just sheerly doing the sets and reps, and I get even more impressive pumps and workouts this way! Mind-muscle connection is no joke.

    Plus I been obsessed with being disinterested, and ignoring girls and people and I need to knock that off, because I may be taking it too far. Then again, I didn't have caffeine since June 30, so it's the withdrawal. But I've not obsessed over it, this time. Besides, I plan not to have it for 96 more days.

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