Determined to Live; Failure is not an Option

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by rcfergie5, Jun 1, 2012.

  1. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    thanks dude. I'll keep that in mind when I'm prepared. I've flirted with some girls before, it surely will happen again. But now the girls have to be coming to me, too. They have to make me know they are interested. It can't just be me, because that would be pointless, as it has been before.. If a girl doesn't even notice me, I won't even try to approach her. That's how prevalent I am. And anyone who thinks girls chasing after guys is wrong is an idiot. IMHO, it can go both ways. PS, I will be working at Taco Bell, Monday, and I will surely be interacting with the public. It's a risk I'm willing to take. I absolutely don't regret doing what I need to do ATM.
  2. Red_Raja

    Red_Raja New Member

    That's great.

    Just remember women typically don't approach unless its a club/bar atmosphere and usually they are hung up on a guy they really like. What they will do is give you looks, signs and passive things you're supposed to pick up on ...but I'm sure most guys know this.

    In any case, I am just giving my advice and input - if you are content doing what makes you you then that's all that matters : D
  3. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    you got a point on everything, Red Raja. Sincerely. Unfortunately, though, most guys don't pick up on signs, and that's the problem for both genders, but even I would know if a girl were to give me a look and smile, I'll probably assume she's interested, although there is only a slim chance I will try to approach.. But I still want to be approached by girls, and IMHO girls should approach guys besides bars/clubs, who cares if a bunch of morons assume they're sluts, even if they really are? Right? But that's my POV, so if I want girls coming to me, I might as well go to a club or bar like you put lol Plus I will look more approachable the smaller, leaner and more positive I am (don't wanna look too much like the Hulk lol!) until then, I'm content with what I am ATM. :)

    Day 418/346

    good things I'm focusing on are doing cardio twice a day, everyday for the week, and I made more recycling money than usual, by a-mere-nother bag, and so combining that with $20 my parent gave me yesterday (it was supposed to be for the party, but it turned out the food and games were on the parents of my fellow graduate Paul; I'll call him Paul 2. Paul 1 is the guy I saw Jurassic Park 3-D with), I bought a can of protein pudding by MHP (I think), and Bodytech's vanilla whey protein.
  4. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Day 420/348

    first day working at Taco Bell, working the cashier and serving the customers was the hardest in comparison to doing other tasks like cleaning tables, sweeping floors and such.. But it was worth learning. It's an alright place to work at, not the kind of place I want to spend my life at, but still pretty decent. I can even feel my social skills returning fast, though.

    So now working for money and working out are my main priorities. And I took today off cardio because my legs were aching after doing three days of twice-a-day cardio sessions, I even burned a total of 1,706 calories by doing an hour on the treadmill in the morning, and 65 minutes on the crossramp in the evening! NoFap so far has been a success at day 8, even.
  5. Red_Raja

    Red_Raja New Member

    Damn man that's beast. You must be in awesome shape.

    Myself I haven't hit a gym properly in a year, mainly due to work and other business opportunities + my final semester in school. It really sucks!
  6. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Day 421/349

    it's been two days working at Taco Bell, and I already experienced a rude customer, reason was I was having a hard time hearing him, trying to taking his order, taking too long, and I had a couple co-workers help me out, and when he paid, I accidentally forgot to give him his change and receipt.. Turns out he was just trying to get his son his food and prevent him from getting fired. I told him it was my second day, he was like, "you shouldn't be here", and I told him to give me a break, when he said, "the manager should be giving you a break, you should be sweeping floors, as a start. I've worked at a restaurant, before.", and 20 minutes since he stood in line, he got his food.... Not the first time I had trouble hearing some customers, either. That even happened yesterday, and another incident like this practically happened... So, I decided that customer service jobs like cashier aren't for me, and I'm saving myself, the consumers and my whole establishment any more embarassment than we already experienced. I can't even tell you how bad I felt about myself, afterwards.. But I managed to keep my cool during the heated debate. And I told manager Daniel that I should just stick to jobs that don't involve customer service or preparing food (which I hadn't done yet).

    At least I just did my 35 minute cardio workout to make me feel a little better.
  7. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    I officially decided that sometime in the next two to six months, I'm done with Taco Bell. It is my intent to do so by heart. Like I said, it's not something I wanna work at forever, but for now this will do. I don't even care about Taco Bell, I'm just there for the money, and temporarily. A few people on Facebook tried to convince me to never quit, but I already put it in my heart to do so, I'm not gonna regret it like they think I will. I'm seriously considering it, hard, and I know I won't regret it. That way, I'll find employment elsewhere, if I still want to work. Any one can advise against this all they want, but there's no way to convince me.

    If I get a call from Trader Joe's or something, I'll probably switch my job, there. I might even like it better. Otherwise, I'm very comfortable just going to college and classes, and going to places free from the stress that jobs like Taco Bell give you.
  8. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Day 422/350

    I just deleted my Facebook after I said "fuck you." due to my validation seeking behavior induced by it, and partly the porn from before. I'll explain this later. I gotta work now.
  9. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    A more effective way of overcoming FB addiction is deleting all of your friends except the very close ones.

    FB is not addictive when you have less than 100 friends. It actually becomes quite boring, as there are almost no updates during the day.
  10. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    I think you missed the point. I permanently deleted my Facebook because I just couldn't take it anymore. I think it's more effective way of overcoming the addiction than having 100 friends. Latter won't work for me, pal.
  11. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    I'm seriously glad I quit Facebook, completely.. Or should I say, Fuckbook? People talk about stuff I do not want to hear, like how much their day sucks, how one's boyfriend cheated on her when they had a little girl, and such nonsense, I seek validation by complaining about how hard my life was and when people tried to help me, I push them away (which is the biggest reason I quit), and when I post something I did good, only few care to "like" or comment (validation seeking, too), most people (even your aquaintances) don't give a fuck about you, cyberstalking occurs (I'm guilty as charged), and on top of that, Facebook uses all your info and posts for sales, exploiting them!

    Well, I'm really glad I just stopped this Fuckbook bullshit and saved myself a heap of embarassment. I see no point to ever returning.
  12. CleanHands

    CleanHands Guest

    Well put! I still use it to keep in touch with some old colleagues through the messenger service but I never log in there. Waste of time!
  13. KingMerodach1991

    KingMerodach1991 New Member

    rcfergie5 Your journal is inspiring. The mistakes I made along the way was focusing on getting laid. I went 70 days plus with Mo and i just fucked up. I didn't fap to porn since that stuff turns me off. however I want to control my sexual energy. Anyway I need to focus on myself. I have to workout to get in shape. I also want to focus on my approach anxiety. You sir are inspiring. Thing is fapping itself is a waste of energy. I will continue to read your journal to get inspired. Good job man!
  14. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Thanks man! I absolutely agree with everything you just said.. I made that exact same mistake of focusing on getting laid, too, I'm guilty as charged. That's what made me end my old 83-day MO streak, too. And porn also turns me off, now, and fapping itself wastes my energy. So what you just said, says a lot about my story, too. I even shed a tear from this. So thanks man, once again. :)

    I'm glad to hear somebody agrees with me about that Shitbook. Wasted over 4 years on that social media crap.
  15. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Day 424/352

    I am down to 226lbs from 230lbs last week. How I did it was this:

    7-Day Cardio Workout

    Saturday: 35 minutes, 611 calories (treadmill), 33 minutes, 459 calories (crossramp)
    Sunday: 45 minutes, 571 calories (crossramp), 45 minutes, 628 calories (treadmill)
    Monday: 60 minutes, 825 calories (treadmill), 65 minutes, 881 calories (crossramp)
    Wednesday: 35 minutes, 446 calories (crossramp)
    Thursday: 30 minutes, 454 1/2 calories (treadmill), 45 minutes, 616 calories (crossramp)
    Friday: 45 minutes, 617 1/4 calories (treadmill), 45 minutes, 585 1/4 calories (crossramp)
    Saturday: 60 minutes, 785 calories (treamill)

    Total: 7,033 calories burned

    as you can see, I did six days of cardio, almost every day were twice-a-day sessions, and I lost over two lbs of fat from that, alone! On top of that, I ate less than I usually would, I figured I needed to eat smaller portions for the most part, if I want to get down to 210lbs by my 22nd birthday. And now I ate a lot to rev up my metabolism (you only need to have one cheat day a week), as I have just learned. Thus I'm advancing my fitness and physique. And what's amazing, i only lost the slightest bit of size in most places. The ass and the waist, definitely a couple inches each area. I think I even gained a pound of lean mass despite taking that whole week off weight training while focusing solely on cardio.. I got another tub of Carnivor (chocolate) and Betagen two days ago to stack with Carnivor (blue raspberry) and Whey Tech, so that helped me not lose any muscle at all, but gain a lb of muscle. So I lost a lot of body fat, by like 5lbs, and my abs practically are starting to show, even while relaxed!
  16. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Day 425/353

    I've come to realize that even without my addictions at all, my attitude still really needs work. And I know my addictions were really symptoms.. I've been pretty quiet and not talking to people for the most part, lately, even as an employee. I've been lead to believe that NoFap, no porn, no caffeine, no Internet, working, etc, was gonna solve everything... But that's all a placebo, even though they helped to an extent... Plus writing down strengths and weaknesses isn't enough.. I feel like trying to be positive is a lot of work! How can I attract anybody if I don't change my attitude right away?

    Oh and I just had a cup of coffee and a Monster, after 79 days of no caffeine. So either I only needed it for today, or I have it for a week or a month, but if I have caffeine, I'll only cycle on and off it, for health's sake.
  17. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    I listened to a hypnosis video specifically for a real spontaneous orgasm, at first it didn't first, then I looked up a video about female orgasms, and came across this video where a girl was riding her bike, and right there, she starts to moan in pleasure and keeps going until she came (while everybody was watching lol it was in a German movie, apparently).. Now I think that's where the hypnotic spell came into play, because (and I had to replay this a few times) I got hard within a couple minutes, and then a few minutes later, I came! First real spontaneous orgasm ever. It was awesome. Now that it's all over with, I resume my NoFap journey, with it still being 13 days of no masturbation.

    Update: second spontaneous orgasm from that same video! Now I am... Back to monk mode. Because I ain't making a big deal about it or caffeine.
  18. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Once again, orgasms like this lead me to MOing, even peeking at porn, and almost ending my PMO streak.. Luckily my PMO streak still lives on, but my NoFap streak restarts. Meaning I MO'd after a good 13 days without orgasm at all.. Proving I can last longer, and definitely beat my old 83-dat streak.. Gotta have faith in myself and dismiss anything sexual and sex related, and definitely dismissing fapping and porn, for good.. Back in monk mode, for real.
  19. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Day 439/367

    finally, I hit a full year without porn, aside from a few peeks every once in a while, and even the peeking hasn't happened anymore... I prefer to commit another full year without ever going there. Also, I fapped 8 times yesterday, and during that last time, I had a little blood on my hand, and realized I broke the foreskin, giving me a real reason to never fap again (everytime I fap, I always do it multiple times a day). I must think of my erection quality and what the constant meat beating will do if I keep it up, whenever the urges come. My dick is fine, now.

    On other aspects of life, they're getting better. I can drink caffeine in moderation now, I learned not to be so hard on myself and focus on my success since I got my job, and I got down to 221lb bodyweight, two days ago. I even took Xpel (a water loss supplement) yesterday, and I'm already looking even leaner than the day before! I've been cutting so I look good for Vegas when I go to the pools, and at 22, I'm surely to be in the best shape of my life, in all aspects as well as physically.. It feels great even to have cashed in my first paycheck, last Thursday.
  20. Aaron

    Aaron New Member

    Congrats on a full year sober, that's awesome, your an inspiration!
    You need to write a post on how you did it lol

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