Thanks for the suggestions. When I'm in the midst of one of these episodes (urges to fantasize), it often feels like my addiction and I are engaged in this epic wrestling match. On rare occasions, we go a couple rounds, I win them all, and that's the end. But most of the time, that relentless bastard won't take no for an answer, and he's inexhaustible. I may pin him temporarily and get some relief, but minutes, hours, or days later, he's back, ready for another round. The toughest part about it is that it's just so easy to succumb. There's no movement or external action required. At most, I just have to close my eyes and concentrate. And these urges can be triggered so easily. Sometimes all it takes is the thought, "hey, cool, it's been a while since I've had those types of cravings." It's like "don't think about a white elephant" - It can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. (By the way, this happened yesterday: the mere act of writing about it triggered urges hours later, but thankfully they were mild and I disposed of them quickly. I just hope this particular match is over.) I often wish I had a white noise machine for my imagination - that when I sense these urges coming on, I could just flip a switch and blast my imagination with static. I started reading the book Willpower's Not Enough (thanks for the suggestion, Swimming in Circles!), and there was a quote that stuck out to me: "Not using, for the addict, is effortful. He has to think about not using and apply himself, because he is still compelled by it. No matter how much willpower he exerts over his actual use, he is powerless over the disease within." This is in the larger context of the authors making the case that this disease is virtually impossible to conquer via willpower alone, and that we must instead shift our worldview and the circumstances that led us to to seek out a "mood-changer" in the first place. I'm still early in the book, so I can't relay any insights yet on how to actually implement this solution, but it resonated with me because it is exhausting sometimes to fight urges, and when the barrier to entry is so low that all it requires is closing my eyes and fantasizing about porn, it's very difficult for me to resist. I'll close with another quote from the book that resonated with me. "There's a saying among recovering alcoholics that if you want to know how bad the disease of alcoholism really feels, don't drink and don't get help. For that's when the mental and emotional aspects of the [disease] are experienced - without the "anesthesia" of a drug." For so long, we've relied on porn and masturbation for relief, as an escape, when things get difficult. Then when we give that thing up, and we experience all the anguish that follows, it's no surprise that our brains are crying out for that anesthesia. It's a vicious cycle.