De-Escalation in porn taste

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by hope2overcome, Dec 20, 2015.

  1. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    I went 30+ days without porn before relapsing. Even my "relapse" was met with not too much side effects. I realized, the harcore stuff I used to get off on were too abrasive for me. And, I couldn't stand watching another guy have sex with a girl. And, I couldn't stand a prostitute have sex with a guy. Did not really care for the sex acts going on as it was not something I wanted to be involved in. But, just a video of a girl standing got me to PMO.

    So, Yes It is Possible to De-Escalate in porn taste.
     
  2. Imfree

    Imfree Active Member

    I recently posted on this topic and I agree with you.

    I am adopting a more relaxed attitude towards recovery. You can tone things down at your own pace. You don't have to become some kind of anti-porn zealot.

    I used to slow down driving by farmer's fields to see what the horses were packing and constantly obsess over gangbangs and ejaculation. Now I can enjoy watching a nude or scantily clad woman dancing and appreciate it for what it is (a momentary escape which may be the best option I have to cope at the moment but will not solve my problems).

    When you start to look for the man behind the curtain you see how fake and ridiculous the hardcore stuff is. Softcore isn't ideal, but it is somewhat more real and sexy than hardcore. At least with softcore nobody's asshole gets torn up, nobody gets a disease, nobody is hit or urinated upon, etc. I imagine that some of the models must enjoy expressing their sexuality and being admired by men.

    The thing is to maintain a level of control at all times and to not allow the porn tubes to program you. Having a slow Internet connection can help. Yesterday I downloaded three ten minute clips off a softcore pay site. The downloading had to be done the day before and I had to leave my computer for 5 hours or so to do it's thing. Any way that you can decrease the speed, immediacy, and extreme nature of your viewing habits you are moving in the right direction.

    Going for moderation rather than abstinence you give yourself a sense of security and freedom. Now that the word "enough" has become part of my vocabulary I can try a little bit, but I don't get sucked into a bottomless pit. The problem with an AA type of approach is that it assumes great weakness of character. The drug is always seen as superior to the former addict to such an extent that any time the two meet one will be anahilated. Abstinence is setting the bar too low. Moderation is a further step in recovery.

    I'm not taking a hard-line stance on this approach either. I certainly do have respect for people who have done streaks much longer than mine or who have finally decided that there is absolutely nothing for them in porn. With some members of this forum though I wonder if extremism, rigidity, and perfectionism may share a common source with their former addiction.
     
  3. Absolutely. But it is very important not to fall back into old habits. Otherwise, one will find oneself re-escalating back onto extreme categories after only a day or two. Tolerance to hardcore stuff increases much, much more quickly after a period of abstinence, compared to the months or years it took when one first became addicted. After only a single viewing of softcore, it gets boring really quickly the second time around. One has to be aware of that.
     
  4. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    Hey hope2overcome,

    In my experience you can de-escalate indeed after some time of abstinence, but once you go back to ''using'' the escalation back can/will happen quite quickly. Wether we're talking the time of the session, the level of ''extreme'' of the P, the number of vids you go through in order to satisfy the craving, etc - if you keep using you will break boundaries and soon enough find yourself back in the old habits.
     

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