Day by day, another journal

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Anonymous Jack, Feb 27, 2023.

  1. DBA

    DBA Active Member

    Hi, you have got to 51 days. I certainly want to chase you to at least 60 days of rebooting.

    Over triggers, I have found that the slightest ones matter because they lead to escalation. So, as you say, the thing to do is to try to remove them
    where possible. The difficult one is having time on your own, and here I have found that it is essential to plan other things to fill that time.

    I'm chasing you.
     
  2. DBA

    DBA Active Member

    Anonymous Jack, how did you manage to upload your avatar. Whenever I try to do it (on a Mac) I get an error message saying that the server can't handle it, even when it is a .jpg.
    Sorry to ask you. but I don't know how to contact an administrator for help.
     
  3. Day 53 done. And onwards to the next sunrise and beyond.
     
  4. Saw some family over Easter. This was a great distraction away from anything PMO related, and imposed a lot of restriction. Got days 54, 55, 56, 57, and 58 down and done. Getting really excited about coming up on the 2/3s mark of my primary goal.
     
  5. Days 59, 60, 61, and 62 done. Some minor urges here and there, but far easier to deal with than they were before. Still keeping it strong and pushing forward.
     
  6. Days 63, 64, and 65 pinned down and done.

    So I'm not sure if it's because of retention, but speaking to a female colleague of mine recently I couldn't help but notice how gorgeous she was. Not in terms of her physique but more in her face. Just beautiful and very alluring. I thought it was a bit strange but then even more recently had a brief interaction with two strangers, female of course and noticed the same phenomenon. Beautiful faces, smiling and near absolutely gorgeous. Is the kind of thing other people have experienced? Or is this more a result of my abstinence and the world has always kind of been like this? Maybe I'm just noticing it now.
     
    -Luke- likes this.
  7. Days 66 and 67 down and out.
     
  8. Day 68 complete.
     
  9. DBA

    DBA Active Member

    68 days! That is a real accomplishment.

    Yes, I'm still chasing.

    Ax you say, it is really tough. The only thing is to find activities that are healthy to replace those that are not, and at the slightest trigger get the help out of it.
    Obviously I don't know yet how tough it is going to get. But I'm married and feel that what I have done in the past is unfaithful to my wife. Being
    totally honest with her is leading to a feeling of a more balanced life.
     
  10. Days 69 and 70 down.

    You're so much closer now, you're doing so great. Little over two weeks left. I've found it seems to be getting easier and easier with each passing day.
    Also in retrospect from my last relationship with a woman I can sort of see where you're coming from. In a way it is unfaithful, and it puts unrealistic expectations in your subconscious mind. From my standpoint now and having gone over how I was back then I can really see it. I never saw her for her, only for who I wanted her to be. And that was entirely inspired from my addiction and the eye candy I was flushing my mind with. What sucks is that I didn't do this so much sooner. But I've since tried time and again and failed. It's a straight and narrow road that you really have to be tough on and committed to. As I said a few days back, one benefit I experienced is being able to hold real eye contact with a woman. There's nothing to be ashamed about anymore.
     
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.
  11. Day 71 down. Was getting excited about coming up on the 3/4 mark and after a moment of math realized I've already eclipsed it last week. Next milestone is the primary goal at 90. Moving onwards.
     
  12. Days 72 and 73 done.
     
  13. Days 74, 75, 76, and 77 down and done. Less than two weeks to go until I reach my primary goal. Already I've gone further than ever before and maybe have the feeling that I've built a bit of momentum up. At the same time I'm trying not to be too prideful and to just get it done. What seemed so impossible not that long ago now looks so attainable. Carrying on.
     
    Newwaynewlife likes this.
  14. Newwaynewlife

    Newwaynewlife Active Member

    You are rocking it! You can be proud of yourself without being overconfident, but if you don't want to, then I am proud of you! :)
    What is different now than in your previous attempts? Are you using different self-care activities? Different therapy? Are you using any medication?
    I'd be curious about your experiences in the past 3 months.
     
  15. DBA

    DBA Active Member

    Hi Anonymous Jack,

    I'm jealous! i have the same primary aim and have further to go. Congratulations on where you are.
     
  16. Days 78, 79, and 80 down. And onwards it goes.

    I think a better understanding of myself and my own triggers, and also learning how to distract myself better and do something constructive when getting urges instead of looking for that instant gratification. Also ceasing on baby dosing with bikini pictures and the like. Just dropping it all and making an actual commitment to doing this. I'm not in any real therapy or taking any real medications. Just trying to maintain the lucidity of how quickly and how detrimentally its impacted my life. It might seem corny or cliche but it seems to have gotten easier over time, perhaps that's what meant by it being a lifestyle. I hardly think about it as much.

    My biggest trigger was having a laptop in the bedroom. I could face the back of the screen towards the door and really look at anything I wanted without risking being caught. I've long since removed it from that room and put it in a living room. Now I hardly use it, and when I do its always for something productive and decent. Unlike before when it was almost an exclusive porn use machine.

    Thank you sir. You're very close to 60 days now. You've just about done it. Closer to your goal than I am to mine. You've done extraordinarily well ^^.
     
    StarWarsFan likes this.
  17. Days 81 and 82 complete.
     
  18. Days 83, 84 and 85 down and dusted.
     
  19. Day 86 complete.
     
  20. Days 87, 88, and 89 down and dusted.

    Very excited about attaining this 90 day mark now, but I also want to be cautious and not take this as a temptation to relapse. Or getting into that trap of thinking that I know it all or have healed completely and one little look can't hurt. It's a lifestyle change and better way of living which I intend to stick to.
     

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