dark place

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by springtocome, Oct 23, 2016.

  1. springtocome

    springtocome Member

    feeling like my all progress is lost. year started promissing, i was watching p about 5-7 times per month with like 2 - 4 pmo of it..last couple of months im hitting rock bottom again...ive been pmoing like 15 times per month... almost every other day and sometimes binging...it seems like relapsing has become easy...its a stressful time for me... really feeling like my all progress is wanishing...i just cant quit despite all my effort...i feel more confident around people and ive changed as a person but damn porn...plus ive been single for more than a year...a fuckin 3 years of quitting porn for good...never made it more than some 20 days completely pixel arousal free...where is the key to reboot successfully? i guess im missing something.

    relapse happened after drinking a few beers, earlier ones - being exhausted, stress, next morning after sleeping less and being horny
     
  2. Clips4Souls

    Clips4Souls Member

    They key is most likely a good woman to hold you down bro. I mean your brain is gonna crave the rush of arousal and your dick/nuts are gonna ache. I recommend you find yourself a woman now before you completely revert back into a serious addiction. it sounds like you're on your way to some bad roads ahead. idk. maybe you need to start a journal and stay abstinent again? work out the issues u may be facing now? until you can find a good woman to care about....
     
  3. springtocome

    springtocome Member

    there is this thing that after these sessions im afraid to go and meet woman or do something about it... i still blame porn...i want to achieve certain amount of soberity or something but then i keep relapsing...this is like a fucking circle...
     
  4. springtocome

    springtocome Member

    or its what underdog calls abstaining.. i believe i have improved as a person but this disgusting habit are ruining me as a young man
     
  5. Clips4Souls

    Clips4Souls Member

    i wouldn't worry so much about what the hell porn has done to you mentally right now. How old are you? 20-24 right? you're getting up there my man. not that you should begin worrying about dying alone, but you need some experience! DONT worry about "withdrawal" anymore. what getting sober is all about is the picking up the broken pieces aspect. You should have been repairing yourself mentally while abstaining from porn, right? That is how you metamorphasize into a non-porn user. You cannot do the same things you did yesterday and expect different results today. Getting "clean" from PMO addiction is about figuring out WHY you use porn, and WHAT the porn has done to your life negatively, and what it's done to your mind.

    I have been a heroin addict, I have been addicted to alcohol... Let me tell you, as much as heroin addicts fear the withdrawal, which lasts up to 3 months....... What's tough is coming to the realization that now that they dont have an excuse, all they can do now that they are clean, is focus on the fact that they are now able to thrive, & the reasons they weren't already. That is exactly where you are now. You are lapsing up.... you need OUTSIDE SUPPORT. (start coming here more often and post in the SOCIAL threads.... You are WELCOMED TO PRIVATE MESSAGE ME) The important thing for you now is to stop PMOing. WAKE UP to the fact that you are in a relapse/lapse.... and it's time to step up to the plate & thrive. If that means you need to ask for help, ask for help. (That includes asking family/friends if they will help you find a GOOOD HEARTED woman!)
     
  6. jnjjn

    jnjjn Member

    Hang in there! Dont let go. Im Very familiar with this dark place your talking about, and dear of this place is what has helped me keep going. Please reach out to sombody close. Anyone, just talking about this and hearing yourself say it will help you ALOT! This is very hard! but worth it. You can start thinking about this and mabey somday in the future do it. But for now stay strong ! Dont stay down, put up a fight! Keep journeying and sharing your progress on here, thats a good thing.





    MO19
    snapchat: moe19th
    Email: fapnosity@gmail.com
    twitter: @fapnosity_
    instagram:mad:fapnosity_
     
  7. Clips4Souls

    Clips4Souls Member

    To sum up my above post: It is time to focus on working on yourself! Mentally! Figure out who you are! Buy a notebook and bring it with you everywhere. Try to focus inward (introspection) and think about who you are. WHY were you just anxious? Are you an anxious person? WHY were you just laughing with a coworker? Are you likeable? Are you funny? WHY are you likeable/why are you funny. This will help you to cement in your own mind who you've become over the last 10 years.

    STOPPING the PMO is so much more than stopping the act of PMOing. You know this! It is time to find yourself. Because PMO addiction tends to take away our mirrors. We forget who we are and who we want to be when we become habituated to destructive lifestyles and addictions. Wake up. STOP PMOing and START introspection.
     
  8. springtocome

    springtocome Member

    thanks guys, im really giving it try again this time...this month has couple of 4 5 days streaks when i feel really calm usually// well the thing is anxiety comes rather from my tought process and my health issues that ar linked to my career as a musician...but i feel like i get these sympthoms rateher from stress than real issue (i study TMS syndrom how stress can make chronic pain to our back, shoulders, allergies)//

    its crucial to:

    get enough sleep
    drink as less as possible, and no more than 2 or 3 beers, otherwise my rational mind shuts off and cravings enters
    more positive thinking
    get back at some posture, biceps home workouts..maybe running
    focus on goals
    study
    be positive towards people around me in daily basis
    keep myself updated although i dont want to get too attached to this forum again..
     
  9. springtocome

    springtocome Member

    moving forward in my life..been figuring out some future goals...that includes having a healthy relationship. but at this moment im not putting a finger to do something about it. :D
     
  10. springtocome

    springtocome Member

    im meeting a girl in couple of days...
     
  11. Clips4Souls

    Clips4Souls Member

    lucky fuck! how did you meet/talk to her!?? hook me up with 1 of her friends!! :p
     
  12. jnjjn

    jnjjn Member

    Meeting with girl is somthing that has actully been catching my attension lately. That an i have no freinds so im destrate for social contact haha
     
  13. Clips4Souls

    Clips4Souls Member

    shit, i've just been messaging them on social media asking them what I should wear out to the grocery store, or how short I should cut my hair, or what color shoes I should buy. lol.
     
  14. springtocome

    springtocome Member

    haha, the thing is guys..i believe i get quite an attention from girls...its been basically through my whole life i gues...im kind of good looking...but this discousting habit makes me

    relapsed to some fb images this morning after drinking... drinking is the must 1 reason that makes me relapse, others are stress and exhaustion (lack of sleep). cannot use relapse as an escape anymore...the thing is im actually quite anxios when a girl offered to go to myplace yestrday...i want to build healthy relation ship and sex life but im still anxios i might fail... (due to my DE)...
     
  15. springtocome

    springtocome Member

    have to move forward to prevent a binge. porn blockers did save me from porn, although i watched some bikini shit thats basically the same
     
  16. springtocome

    springtocome Member

    i should get back at reading in the evenings, instead of spending majority time surfing web
     
  17. Clips4Souls

    Clips4Souls Member

    damnnnnnnnnnnnnn she asked to go back to your place???
    see my problem is, all the girls I've dated never went on a date with me 1st. I just contacted them, or met them drinking/drugging, and brought them back to my place... I would LOVE to actually DATE a girl 1st. haha.... But I have to have the courage. I am hoping that I am building courage.
     
  18. springtocome

    springtocome Member

    yes man we will get through this phase of life, its not forever anyways..i believe if we improve our lives in every direction, not just by quitting porn, its a pretty huge invesment in our future...
     
  19. springtocome

    springtocome Member

    my body feels quite tense. thinking about future brings me a lot of stress...im quite a struggling musician in this phase of life...hope things will work out the best they possibly can...i have to put an effort...and structurise more my priorities and goals..this is very hard to figure out..its not like getting up everyday, work for a solid 8 hours and having decent income... musicians income aint regular...haha
     
  20. springtocome

    springtocome Member

    found myself started checking out some girls fb pictures, for a curiousity and arousal...logged out after 3 mins... have to be really careful
     

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