Hey man. I can relate to you as I have been through similar journey. At the time I started on this website (in 2012 too), I thought I can overcome it in a year or two. That I would still struggle with it after 9 long years was never in my mind. This addiction has taken so much out of our life experience. Anyway, we should not lose hope and work harder towards finally overcoming it. Wish you the best bro!
Quite true. Feels like I have deep invisible wounds from this entire experience...I empathize with your feeling as though you missed something or someone important...that can be understood in many different ways (such as...being blinded to others who may have been placed in your life to help you due to your own stubbornness, or feeling as though you're missing out on an important lesson).
Thanks bro, wishing you the best as well! I remember reading and participating in your journal years ago. I actually have a rather vivid memory related to your journal as well: It was during one of my stints in community college circa 2012 or 2013 and I was in the library. I turned on my laptop, saw you had posted something and responded to it (I know it's not a long memory or anything like that...but it is what it is).
I have a reason to believe that such decision can be helpful. Our addictions is clearly way bigger than mere PMO. I hope therapy will become an asset for you, not a liability. Good luck.
Reacquainted myself with this girl I met back in AIT recently. She just moved to my duty station and I happened to see her while I was out and about driving. From talking to her I've realized that I have a somewhat stifled sense of expression when it comes to vocalizing my emotions. She's a cool girl, though. We talked on the phone today for almost 4 hours.
I'm shocked I didn't post in here at all during 2022. But, here I am again in 2023. My struggle with pornography has been LONG. I've been on and off this website for a decade. I was 19 years old when I first logged on here, and I am now 29. I'm turning 30 in just a few short months. What a life I've lived....I'd been stuck in depression and fog for so, so, so long. I am still an addict, but my desire to stop has never subsided. I met a nice girl last year, and just a few days ago I flew out to see her where I spent a few days with her. At 29 years old, I finally lost my virginity. I've still got a lot to work on, because I kept on losing my erection but she was very understanding. I'm resolving to stay away from all porn just for her. At the very least until my 30th birthday in the next two months. I've begun to realize how truly low my self-esteem had been for most of my life....I didn't realize it had been so bad. I've come to realize for myself truly that I'm actually a very handsome, and attractive man. I did not believe that about myself for most of life. I'm just happy I realize it now. I hope all of the friends that I'd made in passing on this website (especially Chamorrow, wherever he is nowadays -- someone who was also 19 like I was 10 years ago) have achieved success in life. I've got a ways to go...but I'm finally beginning to feel happiness. I strive to develop joy.
Welcome back. I can feel your struggle because I am in a situation quiet similar to yours. I wish you the best!
Congratz on meeting that girl! Seems you have the right mindset, best of luck! A girl is a good motivator to keep off P.
