Daily journal

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Tiger, Jul 19, 2021.

  1. Marcoserra

    Marcoserra New Member

    You're not gonna screw it up, not this time, you're strong Tiger, I know you can do it. This will seem like a stupid message from a person you don't know, I'm 19 and I've relapsed so many times, plus I've also developed HOCD in the last few months. I didn't realize the damage I was doing to myself, your escalation is exactly like mine, it's hard to resist, very hard, impulses and mental images are very frequent, but this just makes me realize how low I was with that . We will come out stronger I'm sure. Hang on man. (sorry for my awful english, it's not my primary language)
     
    Tiger and Rudolf Geyse like this.
  2. Tiger

    Tiger Member

    thanks for the support brother I really appreciate it. I can relate to what you are saying… my journey towards having sex with trannys was definitely encouraged & driven by porn. I previously had a 200+ day streak and after about 100 days or so I found myself being really really drawn to real women.. proper women with proper curves etc. I had no desire to sleep with trannys or partake in any homosexual activity.
     
  3. Tiger

    Tiger Member

    Day 30

    last 5 days have been quite brutal with flatline. I’ve had to sleep most afternoons because of really bad headaches. I feel mentally slow & weak… lots of brain fog. Motivation for anything is gone. Dead dick. Finding it hard to concentrate or get joy out of anything.
    I’ve been here before & just need to trust the process!
     
  4. Tiger

    Tiger Member

    Day 35

    I am struggling big time with urges… have fallen a few times & watched a few vids & looked at pics online… indulged in phone sex… my brain is craving dopamine. I need to stay focused & not give in. I have plenty of work to keep myself distracted but just can’t focus. I need to make it through this period of extreme cravings & fantasies running wild in my head. Not giving up… keep moving forward!
     
  5. Tiger

    Tiger Member

    Day 40

    still struggling with fantasies & urges to watch porn or talk about sex. When I wake up first thing in the morning that is when I’m at most risk of relapsing as I lay in bed far too long. Morning erections are much better now but that makes it tempting to play & think of sexual thoughts. Going to adopt a new approach & get out of bed as soon as I wake up. Wake up & cold shower straight away then meditate & exercise.
     
  6. Tiger

    Tiger Member

    Day 41

    woke up from a wet dream… got myself to blame for this as I edged & fantasised last 2 days. There’s no way around this… complete abstinence mentally & physically is the only way to recover. I’m NEVER edging again or getting off on fantasy… sex is a physical act… we’ve made it a mental act & fucked ourselves up… well no more… I’m fighting back & reclaiming my reality. I’m going to heal & have real sex… no more of this bullshit
     
  7. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    Bam! Cold turkey sandwich is the best sandwich for us. The only on the menu, dare I say? You'll never look back and say: "Oh, I wish I'd compromised more during my abstinence!" when you're hard as a diamond and giving a woman you love a few orgasms as reality melts around you two. Best feeling ever.

    Were you by any chance on NoFap at one time? (Your username is quite generic, but was wondering still...)

    Any compromise leads to a string thereof, and, finally, to full-blown relapse. Ask me how I know...
     
  8. Tiger

    Tiger Member

    Hi bro,

    thanks for posting… no I’ve not been on nofap.
    Cold turkey is definitely the only way to go… I went cold turkey in the past & at first the withdrawal is horrific & painful but well worth it!
     
    CleanBootsBaby! likes this.
  9. Tiger

    Tiger Member

    Day 50

    I’m in the midst of a major flatline… feel completely wiped all the time, dead dick, no motivation, look & feel like shit, semen leakage sometimes, dark eye circles, can’t concentrate, social anxiety

    but I’ve been here before & beat all this… I have to trust the process & keep moving forward… I will heal, I will get better & I will be victorious
     
  10. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    Yes, man. I had the same withdrawal symptoms as if I were recovering from heroin addiction. It was scary. But that was the moment I clenched my teeth and I was agonizing on the floor I said that I'm not giving in even if I die right then and there. That was when I beat this addiction.

    But, since I started backsliding years later...here I am again. But this time, at least so far, it is much easier.
     
  11. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    You have to pull through. You can do it! On the other side of the hell awaits paradise. I have no better way to put it into words.

    I hope your "wilderness experience" will be short! Be strong!
     
  12. Tiger

    Tiger Member

    Day 52

    relapsed & watched porn for about 5mins! Stopped myself & snapped out of it
    I’m struggling with fantasy… I need to stick to complete cold turkey.
    Had another wet dream… triggered by the porn no doubt
    Cold turkey mentally & physically is only option now… monk mode it is
     
    Shady and BoughtWithBlood like this.
  13. BoughtWithBlood

    BoughtWithBlood Well-Known Member

    Hey man, was just reading through your journal and this post stood out for me. As a christian I wanted to clear something up. Christians do not believe all homosexuals should die and/or go to hell because they’re homosexual and it’s bad.

    Christianity teaches all men have sinned against God, and nobody is righteous by God’s perfect standard. To bridge this gap He send His only Son (Jesus Christ) so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. Why? Because He loves us. So eternal life is not a work based thing but a faith based thing.

    The bible teaches that after we die we face judgement day which you could compare to a court. There will be proof provided of our sins and there’s no denying it. Now the only way a perfectly righteous God can legally let us go without punishment, is if the fine that was due, was payed. Because Jesus took up our sins upon Himself and died on a cross, that fine was payed.

    So it all boils down to this: do we accept this free gift of eternal life by accepting Him as our savior? If yes, then we receive His Holy Spirit and we’re changed from the inside out, so now we no longer want to sin. And then if we die we get to be with Him forever in a place where there is no more sin, pain, sickness, darkness, etc. Just pure joy, wonder, marvel and beauty.

    On the other hand, if we reject this free gift. We’ll have to stand trial for our sins on judgement day. And since we rejected Him, he will then reject us and we will have it our way, a place where we won’t be with God. If God is life, love, health, peace, communion and light. Hell is not just a place completely void of those things, but also the exact oppositie of these things.

    I hope this clears up what christianity is about. Thank you for taking this time to read it :) Best of luck on your journey in overcoming porn addiction!
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2021

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