Ctrl Alt recover

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Mandal, Jan 22, 2015.

  1. Mandal

    Mandal New Member

    Hey guys !

    I am new here, I don't like to write too much and English isn't my mother language, but I will try to write so that everyone can read this and understand me.

    I found this website very randomly... and really, it gave me a lot of hope when I read that to get back erections you "just" had to stop PMO. So it gave me a lot of hope. Tried it, failed a few times and now I am more than 2 months without it ! Did it change my life? Not yet, but hopefully it will.

    But first, a little bit about myself.

    I am 27 next month. I have been travelling/working around the world for the last 5 years. So I never really had a long relationship during that time.

    I really discovered my "problem" when I was still at school, when I was 20 yo. I had a girlfriend and it was really difficult for me to get erections, even if I felt really comfortable with that girl.

    I noticed it before that I had difficulties getting erections, but I just never made a problem out of it. I thought it was alcohol, stress or because I was tired.

    Since this last long term relationship I never really had a girlfriend. Just some girls I met during my travels. We wanted to have some fun, but then I didn't manage to get an erection. The girl is sat and and thinks it's her fault. Trouble trouble and a lot of frustrations. I try to forget about it and when I meet an other girl I just try not to think about it. But at the end, it's all the same again... a good night that good have turned into a very "hot" night just turns into frustrations on both sides.

    So now I am not even bothered trying to date anymore, even if I always really liked to flirt with girls.

    I tried a lot of things because first I didn't know exactly what the problem was.
    I adapted my food and took some extra vitamins. I learn meditation so I could relax (because maybe stress was the problem). I went even did ayahuasca (inca ritual) because I taught that could help me. I have been talking with a lot of friends and other random people about it (at the end I was like "fuck it, they don't know me, but maybe they can still help me or give advise).

    Nothing worked.

    So now I found this community and read some journals so I just thought: "OK, no more PMO for me, never again!"

    But actually, I haven't been PMO-ing so much... I think....

    When I compare to my friends, they are always talking about it and that's why I don't think I do it more than them. Especially porn. I used it sometimes before. You know, you're bored, you're alone for 30 min, so you give it a quick go.

    But did I really do it so much more than them?

    Why can they watch it, talk about etc. but they still manage to have erections with a girl?

    I thought It's maybe because I am not really used to be excited by someone else, a real person, as I am travelling a lot, meet a lot of people but most of the time I am still lonely and I am used to M alone.
    And when I used to do it, most of the time, was without porn. I was just watching a "normal" movie or doing something on my computer. Then I put my hand in my trousers, and after 10 minutes I realize I have a huge hard-on... Why is that only happening when I am alone, but when I am with a girl it feels like something is just blocking me. There's no reaction at all down there, even if I really want to and even when I am very awake and feel very comfortable with the girl.

    So, I started a few months ago by trying to stop masturbating completely. Skipping porn has never really been a problem.
    I failed a few times, but now I didn't do it for more than 2 months and I don't feel any difference at all.

    My dick feels like it's dead, feels like it's only made to pee and nothing else.

    And even worse now is that I am not craving at all. Put a beautiful, sexy lady in front of me. I will think she's nice, but I won't have any interests in going out with that girl and having sex with her.

    I will keep doing what I am doing, no PMO, no MO, no M, no nothing ! But It feels soooo long. Could it be that there is an other issue?
    I still have erections during the night. I am young, fit, healthy, ... So what's the problem?

    I will try to keep this journal updated as much as possible. But in the meanwhile, if you guys have advise, feel free to share it becausse I am afraid i will give it up soon if I don't notice any kind o change.

    Maybe I should get a more stable life, get a girlfriend and give it a real trial, but fuck this. I love my life as a vagabond. I don't want to give up this lifestyle and it would be amazing if I could combine it with descent erections. No more frustrations when I meet a girl that I like.

    Thanks for your support everyone.
    Like I said, I try to keep this updated so I can help others, just like other journals have been really hopegiving for me.

    Sometimes I wish I could just heal, or recover as easy as a computer. I just have to find the Ctrl Alt Recover keys...
  2. Mandal

    Mandal New Member

    More than to months now, no P, no M, no O and still... no feeling at all.

    I get erections during the night or when i stimulate myself but for the rest: nada...

    How long until I feel a difference?

    I read most people here start feeling a difference after a more or less 2 months.
  3. Untapped

    Untapped Overcame PIED - Trying to beat P addiction

    Hi Mandal,

    Looks like your english is great, so no worries there :)

    I think you can use an example to help understand your current situation. You have stopped PMO for 2+ months now. This allows you to "reset" your brain, but like a smartphone where you "reset factory settings", you need to "reinstall" some of the programs, to get back to the state where you have the best working phone. This is called "re-wiring". You'll need the help of some lady friend or friends. The idea is to teach your brain what is pleasurable again. Kissing, touching, looking into each other's eyes, cuddling etc. As long as you don't feel stress or fear, and slowly become comfortable, your body will learn that "hey, being with a girl is great, I'm getting excited" and then you will get your erections back. This takes time and can be worrying but be strong and hopefully you will see results
  4. Mandal

    Mandal New Member

    After more than 2 months without M-ing...

    Lazy Sunday, home alone. Just being bored on my computer.... And I failed... I M0-ed. Pfff ! :( :(

    Well, I am still very happy from that progres. 2 months is a huuuge time for me. Let's try do break that record.

    The weird thing is that i wasn't even craving for sex or just an orgasm.

    So annoying, but it donne now and I guess I will have to accept it.

    Thanks Untapped, your message is very hopefull. I just have to find someone... huhuuum... :)

    But I still think it's weird that I have no cravings at all, no wet dreams, no morning erections, ... Still feels like "it" is completely dead and just usefull to pee.

Share This Page