Crossdressing and femdom have ruined my life. Don't destroy yours.

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by fml235, Aug 10, 2015.

  1. fml235

    fml235 New Member

    So, I'm 21 and over the past year I've gotten into crossdressing and femdom. The hole just keeps getting dug deeper and deeper, to the point where it's all I can fap to. I also have OCD. I've feared that I was going to forget how to breathe, choke, become a serial killer, die in 6 months, etc.

    I've looked all over at trans forums, etc and apparently, soon, I'll actually believe that I'm supposed to be a woman the more I continue to dog this fapping hole deeper. I'm literally Anxious all the time, I can't socialize with people like I used to, I'm constantly checking my thoughts when I'm around women to see if I like her or if I just want to "be" her. I'm highly afraid that I'm in the "closet" and will do anything to hide it. Whenever I break nofap, my conscious will scream at me "this feels so good! you're a woman!" After that, when I'm thinking more clearly, it all sounds so stupid to me.

    I wish I could just go back to the way things were a few months ago, when everything was innocent. It wasn't until I started researching shit on the internet that my fear was amped up this much. Idk what to do anymore, idk who to believe and I've even considered suicide because of the shame. This is hell on earth. I confided in my brother and he just laughed at me like "that's it dude?" but idk, it just seems so much bigger than it is to me. I'd rather kill myself than to commit to an irreversible procedure!!! Fuck pressure of trans people
    With every fap session comes more obsession and more shame/Anxiety. I don't even watch porn, I can literally just use my imagination and fap, or look at erotic pictures/stories. I don't want to change my damn body. I just want to live my life again. Idk what to do anymore. The hole is just going deeper.

    Somebody tell me this shit is all going to be okay, humor me, whatever
     
  2. Were you actually living the life you were supposed to back then or the life others wanted you to live. It seems like you wish you could back to the past when you repressed who you truly were.

    It seems you are scared of been perceived as abnormal when in fact you are normal. I would suggest posting on loveshack.com. Those people can help you out.
     
  3. fedmom

    fedmom Member

    There's a thread in my profile for getting rid of this fetish.
     
  4. fedmom

    fedmom Member

    Sorry, it's sexual masochism so not who he "truly is". It causes mental damage if you increase serotonin enough after doing it for real.
     

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