Could this be the answer to my problem?

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by ananoman, Dec 5, 2012.

  1. ananoman

    ananoman Active Member

    Thanks for responding!

    I am now 8 years into this, and I'd have to say that in my humble opinion. you never really overcome this "addiction". Why? because sex is a natural pat of who we are. And as long as you continue to have sex, as I have with my wife, then you will always be feeding your "addiction". Now, you definitely can and SHOULD create a healthy sexual appetite, meaning one where your significant other is the focal point, the center of your attraction, but I'm not sure you will ever reach a point where your brain ONLY gets triggered by your significant other and nothing else.

    As far as rebooting, I started this journey sometime in the Fall of 2012, and in retrospect I successfully rebooted by the Summer of 2013. Since then I have continued in a fairly steady state with perhaps sight improvements.

    Did I ever reach Nirvana? That place where I had superpowers, boundless energy, amazing attraction, and clarity? Well, yes and no. What I've found is that you do reach a place like that, but it will come and go.

    to be continued......
    Boxer17 and Deleted User like this.
  2. realness

    realness Well-Known Member

    I ready the most recent entries to your journal and really identify with the BPH stuff and getting up a lot to go to the bathroom. It sucks and it's started for me much earlier. First around 37 yrs and I still manage it now at 41. I also had the uncomfortable examination that showed things were mostly normally, just a bit larger prostate. The urologist actually concluded that I just have a small bladder! Of course, I think frequent PMO and edging makes things much worse, so minimizing those and eliminating them definitely helps. He didn't say anything about anxiety, food/diet, which I've found to be major contributors so I wanted to note them in case they might be helpful to you. Coffee: I can't give it up while raising little kids. I think the acids mess with my bladder. So drinking lots of water each afternoon flushes things out and rehydrates, and if you stop by 4PM it helps at night. Foods like dark chocolate, citrus, tomatoes, anything else that's kind of acidic, don't eat after early afternoon. And definitely strategies to deal with anxiety. Reading, prayer, etc. With all of this management I only get up once a night after 4 hrs. I'm still envious of men who don't have to deal with this problem, but then I realize that all those guys have bad knees, backs, or some other ailment. I guess we all have our thing.

    Thanks for sharing your journey-
  3. ananoman

    ananoman Active Member

    My urologist really didn't have a clue as to what was causing my problem. He wasted his time doing diagnostic tests like cystoscopies. In the end the MRI proved that my issue couldn't be my prostate. So at that point he diagnosed it as "idiopathic prostatitis" which is fancy medical speak for "I haven't got a clue what it is".

    Through my own research I have come to the conclusion that what I have is Pelvic Floor Tension. Look up the Wise Anderson Protocol if you want to get more info on this. I will be heading to a urologist I've been referred to by Dr Wise to confirm the diagnosis before commencing treatment.
  4. badger

    badger Well-Known Member

    there's a saying in AA-you go to church to save your soul, you come to AA to save your ass. hang in there.
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  5. badger

    badger Well-Known Member

    any drastic change in our routine and the body will let us know-this is not normal it will tell us. whether good or bad the body is used to what you do to it. homeostasis. anything different and it will let you know. welcome and hang in there.
  6. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Well-Known Member

  7. ananoman

    ananoman Active Member

    checking back in. Ive been quite fatigued for the past few days- not sure what it is. It could be my low carb diet coupled with intermittent fasting. My sleep has been so so. I've been having problems falling asleep and I wake up 2 times to pee. I then wake up a third time usually anywhere from 5:30-6:30 am, but I always try to sleep in a bit longer unless it is the days that I work (I work on Thursdays and Fridays)

    On the PMO front I've been staying clear of things though I'm tempted to look at P. My libido is low and I feel the urge to get it going. Haven't had sex with the wife now for about 3 weeks, and she's not interested.
  8. ananoman

    ananoman Active Member

    managed to get through yesterday staying strong. felt decent this morning but still struggled to get to sleep- I'm sure its due to the low carb and IF I am doing. by afternoon I was so tired I ended up taking a 90 minute nap. I am yearning for those days when I actually didn't feel tired and had energy- its been a while and I'm starting to think its because I'm getting old
  9. ananoman

    ananoman Active Member

    been a month since I started intermittent fasting and being more vigilant with the carbs. I have felt like crap for the whole time but have read that you just gotta get over the hump. Yesterday for the first time I felt like I was climbing out of the hole and today I also feel pretty good. My libido is dead. I actually broke down and viewed some porn and it did zilch for me. Not sure how strict the counter is going to be for me. Wife has also been feeling sick so we are just laying low these days
  10. ananoman

    ananoman Active Member

    Slipped into regular porn use every few days but no MO. did not effect my ability to have sex with the wife and actually made me more aroused more frequently with frequent erections. Energy levels remained good, but as a man of Faith I know I need to be obedient to God so I stopped.

    I've also redoubled my efforts with low carb dieting and intermittent fasting. The dopamine drought has put me into a constant irritable malaise and funk.
  11. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Yes, it can do that over the short-term, for sure. Our wife becomes our surrogate porn star, until she doesn't. Then, it's back to limp dickville as you know. I also know that dopamine funk well. Oy, it can really make us feel like shit about life.

    Glad you're taking care of yourself with diet and recommitting yourself to stay away from P!
    Boxer17 and Old Tom Bombadil like this.
  12. ananoman

    ananoman Active Member

    Haven't posted here in over a year but I'm back.

    I started this journal around 10 years ago, and it is amazing to go back through and see where I was, and what I went through. I continue to struggle with with viewing P, and, as I posted last year, my no PMO/MO streak came to an end last year in part due to attempts to find a way to combat my ongoing pelvic floor issues.

    I am going to resume journaling here. I have no idea who still continues to come to this board, but I'm back because I think this helps.

    More later....
  13. mailboxsam

    mailboxsam Active Member

    Welcome back man and strength to us all.
  14. ananoman

    ananoman Active Member

    I went down this path because I was looking for the reason and cure for my perpetual tiredness, and the good news is that I am generally better than I was a decade ago.

    Some things that I learned....

    1- Yes! PMO definitely contributes to brain fog and lethargy. My journal reflects a constant yo-yoing between long streaks of abstaining from PMO, and cycles where I am in a rut, failing, and struggling to climb out of it. I can also look back and see that energy and mood wise, I do trend better when I am steering clear of the PMO, PM, or even just P or P subs

    2- Frequent sex with the wife puts me in a brain fog. Nowadays this has become a non issue because she is now 59 and I am 58. Her sex drive has diminished ALOT and mine some as well.

    3- My diet has ALOT to do with it. It took me a long while, but I finally made the connection that sugars/carbs will effect my sleep quality, and put me in a brain fog. While I am a pretty healthy guy (I exercise regularly, eat fairly healthy, am not overweight), I have always had a blood glucose that ran a bit high (mid to upper 90's), and in 2020 my first ever hemoglobin A1C test confirmed that I am a borderline diabetic. So I have to be careful about sugars.

    4- My sleep is critical. Over the years I've gradually adopted better sleep hygiene and it has helped- I wear a mask, earplugs, keep the room cool, and go through an unwinding phase before going to bed to help shut down my brain. Also I am retired now so I can wake up naturally in the mornings rather than force myself to get up on a schedule- this makes a huge difference.

    5- eliminating stress from my life helped- Like I already mentioned, I retired over 4 years ago. I always thought that I handled stress pretty well, but as soon as I retired, I began to notice how much more relaxed and chill I was, and over time, how much better I felt in general. I've come to realize that even though I was able to manage stress well for all those years, the stress did have an effect on my physical well being and sleep quality.

    6- Supplements have made a difference. Over the years as I've slowly been educating myself on vitamins and supplements that helps with sleep, and energy, I've built up a regimen where I now take a bunch of things in the morning. Vitamin D3 (I'm deficient), K, Magnesium, B6, B12, Fo-Ti, and Metamucil- have all helped to improve my energy levels, quality of sleep, and sense of well being.

    7- Testosterone Replacement Therapy didn't work. I tried it for around 4 years. Yes it did make me more energized, but I always felt like it was an energized layer on a bedrock of tiredness- something didn't feel right. I did enjoy the physical benefits of a better physic and an increased libido, but my sleep became horrible- I would wake up in the middle of the night and be unable to go back to sleep. In the end the poor sleep wiped out any of the other positives so I decided to stop.

    8- It turns out I never had BPH. I really fault my urologist for this one because his misdiagnosis put my on a path where I wasted a bunch of years before finally getting a handle on what the problem really is(pelvic floor disfunction). I am only now stepping up efforts to work towards getting this issue resolved.

    So the past 10 years have been filled with a lot of ups and downs, struggles, victories, and defeats, but in general I am in a better place now than I was 10 years ago.
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2022
  15. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Thanks for posting on my journal. It's great to have you, and your wisdom, back on the forum. I know all about low-energy states; I've struggled my entire adult life with fatigue. I've tried supplement, but I've never found the right balance. When one is tired it can be overwhelming to do the research into what might help. Changing my diet a couple of years ago was huge, though. Like you, I ditched all the simple sugars and have found my health is somewhat better, though I still struggle some days.

    Of course, PMO, FO, MO, P-subs, exacerbates everything!

    Love the positivity of your last post, ananoman.
  16. ananoman

    ananoman Active Member

    Well- screwed up last night.

    stress levels have been super high of late. I’ve been dealing with my aging parents, last month my MIL went into hospice and then passed away, and now we are setting up a place to help care for my FIL. We just flew him in from NorCal and my wife has been with him all week as we prep the place where he will be living. All this means a lot of driving around for me, and a lot of alone time- which isn’t good.

    I need to buckle down
  17. ananoman

    ananoman Active Member

    The good news out of my journey and all that I've done to try and improve my general energy level and sense of well being is that in general I feel a fair amount better than I did a decade ago.

    In the past, on a scale of 1-10, I would say most of the time I would sit around a 5-7 range. But nowadays, my average day hovers between a 7-8. The big thing is honing in on my sleep, but I think that everything I have been doing has been contributing to this baseline improvement
    path-forward and Saville like this.
  18. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    This is huge!
  19. ananoman

    ananoman Active Member

    Huge stress day in dealing with my aging parents. My sister is no help. in fact, I think she has some deep seated psychological issues in her relationship with our family. When mom and dad reached the point where they would need a lot of our help, my sister announced that she was moving from our area (East Coast ) to Colorado. I am getting burned out by all that I need to do for mom and dad so today I messaged sis and asked if she could help in dealing with some of the insurance policy claims ( can be done remotely). she told me she doesn't have time because she is now working for a startup and is logging in 12 hour days- this coming from a person who is so wealthy that she could never work another day in her life and live like a queen. Her husband is already retired and spends his time flying all over the place to ski, bike, and enjoy life.

    I am so frustrated and angry right now
  20. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Been there, done that. When one sibling takes on the duty of caretaker the other siblings usually slink away. It's a bloody hard job. I have no words of wisdom other than you're doing some good!

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