Considering an escort? Don't, here is why.

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by hope2overcome, May 21, 2015.

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  1. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    You are wrong. I never had erection issues.
  2. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    It was after I made this thread that new information came my way. I never realized how much of a misogynist I was. All religion and social influence aside, I have to find moral ground that will put limitations on me. If I don't, my lust and desire will run wild and I will fall right back into PMO. Maybe, it is okay to have casual sex if you show empathy towards the girl and comfort her. And, she gets just as much out of the ordeal as you do. Food for thought. I feel this whole topic deserves some more input.
  3. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    The idea that casual sex by itself is bad and that the only healthy and acceptable way of having sex is inside the context of a loving relationship is quite frankly ridiculous.

    The problem is when your sex life consists exclusively of having sex with prostitutes or compulsively looking for casual sex encounters. A guy who visits prostitutes week in and week out is going to have all sorts of problems when he finally meets a girl he likes and decides to have a relationship with her.

    Erectile dysfunction is just a symptom, the tip of the iceberg. What we want is to stop compulsive sexual behavior. I don't believe there's anything wrong with going out on dates here and there hoping to get laid. That's just being a male.
  4. Osa

    Osa New Member

    First off, not every addict suffers PIED, yet still suffers all kinds of other problems related to the addiction. My guess is that those with PIED are so focused on that that they become blind to all the other problems the addiction is causing.

    Secondly, sex cannot be separated from ethics since it involves another person among other reasons. Let's cut all the ethics out of the equation for a moment and just focus on the science. Science is incapable of proving that looking at porn, raping a woman, murdering a woman, making a snuff film, or even committing mass genocide is morally wrong. We need to look beyond science for the answer to those questions. Should we limit ourselves exclusively to science, there there is nothing morally wrong with masturbating to porn, so why are you here?
  5. fathomer

    fathomer New Member

    where did I say anything about addicts? I did not I talked about internet porn/ed issues, which this site is about....from what I've seen this site is not about releations or making love vs sex vs fucking... or any abstract notion like that
    this site seems to clearly be telling about issues about porn/sex
    as seen in this updated video about what YBOP(YOUR BRAIN ON PORN)_
    look at 11:01
    I dont see anything about sex with girls, hookers/one night stands is shown to cause issues.
    so share facts, not your opinon

    "gotta plow a 4 to appreciate an 8"

    look beyond science for what?
    this site is about porn and how it hurts your erections...that's the science, I'm not here to discuss morals, I'm here to look at the science and discuss that.
    you said:
    "sex cannot be separated from ethics " are you kidding me? have you had sex yet? that's so incorrect, I question your virginity
  6. fathomer

    fathomer New Member

    so why are you here?
  7. Osa

    Osa New Member

    I've probably had sex with more women than most men... unfortunately.

    As for facts, my own personal experience has revealed to me the relationship problems this can cause.

    But that's fine. Lean from your own experience.
  8. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    The problem with prostitutes / casual encounters is a bit like drugs (say weed, alcohol, cocaine) : a little is fine, it's quite fun, it's not measurably harmful, and probably not addictive - but in the end it's just a time-killer, it won't bring you anything lasting. The problem is two-fold: a little bit opens the gate to too much (and addicts aren't famous for their sense of limitations), and time-killers are actually a way of running away from uncomfortable feelings, or to "enhance the reality" (but in the end that's the same: if one needs to enhance the reality, it's because the true reality isn't satisfying), and allowing to do so is decreasing the willingness to take the problem at its root. But if that remains casual, non-compulsive, safe, etc, it won't harm the reboot.

    YBOP is about the effects of porn on men and women. Erections are, as TheUnderdog said, just the tip of the iceberg. And I agree with Osa - sex cannot be separated from ethics, unless you're an addict or a psychopath.

    Because porn is a waste of time, creates insecurity, anxiety, lack of confidence and drive, compulsivity, and for ethical reasons too (yes, since porn decreases your prefrontal cortex activity, it very likely makes one a mean little unethical basterd - that's science).
  9. Choice-R-Us

    Choice-R-Us New Member

    Exactly, it is ridiculous. That's why I cringe so hard when it is endlessly and frequently given as advise to people asking for help.
  10. fathomer

    fathomer New Member

    I am on board with this, porn is something that is very addicting because it does bring pleasure, and it takes away sex drive/erections etc.
    Im not sure what you mean by porn makes you unethical/mean/bastard, you must have different experiences, as you lacked showing any science, to back up your claims.

    .Porn is so much like over consumption of fast/junk food, so good to get, yet so bad for your health.
  11. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    It doesn't always take away sex drive or erection. I've had plenty of symptoms but everything worked fine down there. Just some delayed ejaculation. Different people have different experiences with porn.

    About porn leading to be an unethical mean little bastard, I'm explaining you how: it comes down to the prefrontal cortex. Porn use has been shown to decrease the density of the grey matter in the frontal cortex (do your own research, it's all on the YBOP website and other places on the internet). The frontal cortex is the part of the brain that is associated with long-term planning, decision-making and moderating social behaviour (here again, this is science, you can do your research, the information is easily available). Moderating social behaviour is basically the suppression of negative behaviours that would lead to bad outcomes for oneself and for the group: this is the role of ethics.

    So I don't have a study headlining "Porn makes users become navel gazing, short-tempered assholes with little to no ethics" but in the end, that's what happens (among other things).
  12. fathomer

    fathomer New Member

    good point; I've been throwing all the results of using porn under, "ED", but yes, DE is a huge issue.

    The theory of Loss of grey matter is interesting, but again, just a theory, where's the science to back it up? Ie pubmed, etc

    Not that it matters, the established facts are enough without your "little hypothesis" :p,: porn causes
    problems. don't use porn
  13. Choice-R-Us

    Choice-R-Us New Member

    The research about the brain changes are always on the front page of YBOP, the first thing you read there. They get repeated, whenever anyone says there is not enough research. Are you sure you have read the site?

    (Personally, I consider these studies to be correlational, and cringe when causal language is used when talking about them, but they are more or less what the "science" of porn-changes-your-brain is currently based on.)
  14. fathomer

    fathomer New Member

    I was not refuting the brain does change because of pron but your idea that
    brain changes and the abstract notion of a person being a "short-tempered assholes with little to no ethics" which I'm unclear on how you are hard to correlate.

    I think you might have a point though, even though I see no use for it, as I find obese peolpe have several of the same personality characteristics, but do they have those characteristic because they are fat? or did those characteristics make them fat? or are being fat and their characteristics not at all related?( I need a venn diagram)

    what I'm not sure about is how/if erections quality is affected by one night stands. that's my concern, I know porn can affect the erection quality, I don't see too much sex having a negative effect. your abstract thoughts on the ethics/morality of causal sex are merely your opinion, I'm waiting for some facts, if there out there.
  15. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    The science of how the prefrontal cortex is decreased by porn is on YBOP. If you want to look at it, just go on the YBOP website.
    The science of how the prefrontal cortex regulates emotions, decision-making and social behaviours (which are translated into ethics) is very easy to find on Google or even Wikipedia (which links to peer-reviewed scientific research).

    It doesn't take a PhD to connect the dots... Porn => decreased prefrontal activity => less self-control => more impulsivity, less ethics

    Obese people are addicted to food. Addictions (be it weed, porn, or food) decrease the prefrontal cortex density all the same. So yes, there are some similarities. I don't think it's related to the fat directly; fat just happens to add up as one gives in to eating highly gratifying (calorie-dense) foods too often. Eating plenty of cookies is like PMOing for one hour dopamine-wise. All addictions have similar effects on the brain.

    Now, fathomer, you could really use reading stuff on YBOP.

    As for the morality of casual sex, there are only opinion. Ethics and morality are not a facts but philosophy. That doesn't make it any less useful.
  16. fathomer

    fathomer New Member

    huh? i agreed that brain changes due occur due to porn, did you not read the post?

    I am missing your point, so wilt chamberlin or any guy who has lots of causal sex is what? One of my friends and a great guy, has lots of causual sex, so Im not sure what you deducing from a person who has lots of causual sex?

    LOL nope, sorry, I know and have known a few guys, who are mostly professionals now, who had lots of causal sex, maybe their outliers as our schooling required lots of brain power, but you need to give examples of wtf you are talking about.... your vague notions of what are "low self-control/less ethics" translate to what?
    a guy who has lots of sex, has no self control, so he steals a lot of pies(killing the grandma who made them)(ethics) and eats them all(no self control)?

    you are terribly vague with "ethics" and "control",no idea what you mean.....and I should be able to, I dont have phd!

    addicted to food is a strong idea. Maybe a guy was overeating a lot, then stopped overeating at 400lbs, but he always ate exactly what he burned, so he never lost any fat... he's not oveeating, but he is stuck at 400lbs. ;D

    I should? why?
    nothing you've said is of any use, its all hypotheticl gibberish that is vague and how would I use any of it?

    actually it does....when was the last time you used a philosophy major to help you out using their philosophy degree?

  17. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    I'm not deducing anything about "a guy who has a lot of casual sex" because I don't know him and I don't know what 'a lot' is. But porn and casual sex are different things, nobody here said they're the same as far as I know.

    Self-control is a self-explanatory term: you know what you should do, but sometimes you just want to do something else because it's tempting (one drink too much, sleeping with your boss' daughter are just examples). If you have enough self-control, you won't do it; if you lack self-control, you will just follow your impulse.

    Ethics is about having some values you want in your life, in your relation to yourself and to others. If this definition isn't satisfying, you can find another one on Google. Philosophy degrees aren't helpful in my opinion (except in some academic/professional fields), but spirituality-oriented philosophy are very useful. They provide moral framework for meaningful lifestyles (as do Stoicism, Buddhism, Christianity, Islam, etc), for habits good for yourself and with others.

    Maybe all obese people aren't addicted to food, but they were probably addicted at some points. Besides, if you're stuck at 400 lbs - you're still over-eating. Just moving around with all this weight should be enough to lost some weight with a "normal" diet. Anyone who's overweight either has health issues (hypothyroidism and others), or is overeating.

    You should read YBOP because most of the questions you ask, in this post and others, could be answered just by reading YBOP. And it would make the discussion here much easier.
  18. Osa

    Osa New Member

    There's far more to it than erections. Some addicts never have a problem with erections, but addiction still affects emotions, happiness, relationships, etc. If the only goal is to get it up, then just taking viagra should solve that problem, right.

    But if you want to deal with problems beyond erections, then viagra won't help. In fact, if none of the other problems aren't dealt with, PIED might even be a blessing in disguise, telling you enough already.
  19. fathomer

    fathomer New Member

    LOL you should read these posts,YBOP doesn't answer your opinion of what is "ethical" and moral"

    when you say causcal sex leads to less ethitical and less "moral" people and I ask for you to define what you mean by that and you dodge/avoid the question by say8uing," oh go read "this XYX"
    you lose
    you arent debating, you are merely throwing down your unsubstantiated opinion and then running away

    how useless
  20. fathomer

    fathomer New Member

    nope. do read this site?
    viagra works, if there is enough NO/no endothelial dysfunction and proper hormones.
    but viagra won't do anything if the brain doesnt work to getting your dick "up" and that's what this site is about,.
    Fixing the brain so we are attracted to real life girls and not girls on the computer.
    I see nothing about causual sex hurting ability to have sex,

    where do you see this on his site?
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