confused any advice strange reaction after 9 months hardmode

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by Mb666, Apr 4, 2021.

  1. Mb666

    Mb666 New Member

    so I have been on 9 months hard mode rebooting from severe pied nothing could arouse me I had ZERO urges when I quit porn straight into a deep flatline . But last night my cravings just shot through the roof and I kept getting erections with minimal thought ,tiny sensation I wasn't consciously trying to masturbate or get erections .about 70-80 percent erection bear in mind my dick has been dead the whole time for 9 months and I have bad hard flaccid . This went on for about 9 hours the tension was to much I couldn't think straight so I ejaculated without touching my dick by squeezing my Kegels rapidly for a few seconds because they were involuntry contracting anyway I was on edge of orgasm so I just let it happen . I tried to keep the fantasy minimal or very vanilla or not at all but I couldn't stop and some grimy thoughts got in unfortunately . The thoughts were aboout my lifelong fetish I was trying to subdue by reboot but even vanilla things were driving me crazy which hasnt happened in years.
    But I have only ever been able to ejaculate with EXTREME porn after edging sessions and could never masturbate to fantasy EVER and I felt no need to look at porn at all and I had a good routine to not relapse and it worked for 9 months . so I have very mixed feelings about this but I felt good tbh my stress went down but I feel bad now as I relapsed and ruined my long streak
    Has this happened to anyone what should my next step be I was thinking wait a few more months of hardmode then try sex ?
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2021
  2. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Hi Mb666, firstly, I don't think that you have relapsed. You haven't looked at porn. While it was a mistake to ride the urges by doing kegals and feeding the fantasy in your head, this will only set you back slightly. Treat it as a learning kerb and try to avoid it the best that you can in the future. You will likely get some strong cravings to look at porn in the coming days so be careful with those.

    Urges can be very intense sometimes and it seems to me that you probably had an attack by the addiction. It is also pretty normal to be sensitive down there after a period of abstinence. I can make myself ejaculate without even touching myself if I choose to. Its also normal to have flashbacks and fantasy, the key thing is to just keep mindfully shifting your awareness away from it instead of latching on to those thoughts and getting pulled in to them.

    As for choosing when to start having sex again, is really up to you when you feel that you are ready. Why did you make the decision to go straight into hardmode and abstain from sex in the first place?
    Universal and Mb666 like this.
  3. Mb666

    Mb666 New Member

    hi Freedom thanks for your reply I abstained because I had bad ED with real girls I tried to rewire straight away a lot but never really got anywhere even with ed drugs . so I abstained I still don't know whether to keep abstaining or try rewire, people seem to think rewiring is overrated nowadays so I don't know. Yeah I am getting urges today but its weird because I went straight into flatline I havent had urges in years

    Yeah I was very surprised when I Oed without touching the flashbacks just made me go wild usually I don't get any sexual thoughts or am mindful but I couldn't help it crazy stuff I'm sure you could of experienced the same or similar things.
  4. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to rebooting. That you have been experiencing easy erections might be a sign that your ED in general is on the mend. Perhaps the next step for you is to have another few months of hard mode abstinence to make up for this recent episode and then cautiously engage in healthy sexuality again to see if the ED has been fixed. If it has and you are able to have successful sex, gradually increase the number of times that you have sex. Sometimes having O's in quick succession can be too much for the brain.
    Mb666 likes this.
  5. Mb666

    Mb666 New Member

    man I feel thats a good idea I will try that thank you

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