compulsive masturbation

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by shattered, Oct 28, 2019.

  1. shattered

    shattered Member

    This is a message primarily for people I've messaged with in that past.
    I have dug very deep into research about compulsive masturbation, and I'm pretty convinced finally, that this is the source of my problem.
    I have a memory of having the flu with a fever when I was 15, and I actually masturbated to alleviate the pain of having the flu. That's a huge clue right there that something was wrong very early on.

    Anyways, I've spent most of my life searching for answers on what the hell is wrong with me, and I believe I'm getting there.
     
  2. Richard Bell

    Richard Bell New Member

    Can you brief me about Compulsive masturbation and about your problem related to this?
    Actually I have not understood your above post clearly what. Could describe it so I could participate in this thread... Thank you.
     
  3. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Well-Known Member

    Where have the research led you too?


    Have you been able to improve your ed?

    @shattered please respond.
     
  4. shattered

    shattered Member

    Guys, I haven't responded because I want to write out something thoughtful.
    I do want to say I'm doing VERY well right now.
    The biggest thing that helped me was actually to quit worrying about it. Take a 6 month break from worrying about sexual performance and just chase after your goals.
    I've had some sexual encounters where I truly didn't care if I got it up or not, and it actually turned out great.

    I'll write more later.
     
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  5. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Well-Known Member

    Looking forward for your writing on the forum.
     
  6. Dee556pak

    Dee556pak Member

  7. shattered

    shattered Member

    All, as you can see in my counter, it's been 46 days of no PMO. I also gave up alcohol.
    I wake up with strong morning wood often, so that gives me hope that I'm basically functional.
    I haven't noticed what I would consider any sort of strong libido. I'm in my 40's and do not have any spontaneous erections.
    It is my hope that I start noticing stronger libido around 100 days.
     
  8. Thisworld

    Thisworld Member

    Very good. What about sex?
     
  9. Hey shattered, I remember we talked some years ago in this forum about Isotretinoin. I can for sure say now that it didn't affect me at all back then. PMO was 100% the cause. Moreover, even masturbation can be detrimental for many of us. Don't know why, but it is what it is.
     
  10. shattered

    shattered Member

    I really appreciate your follow up!
     
  11. shattered

    shattered Member

    Well, I made it 92 days with no MO. There is a certain good feeling of being able to break a long term habit. I went 85 days without alcohol.
    During this time, I do have to say I felt more tired than usual, and maybe on the edge of depression.
    I noticed morning wood. I don't think I had a single spontaneous erection which I'm not sure I should be expecting in my mid-40's.
     
    Deleted User likes this.
  12. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    You don't have ED anymore right? Just missing libido and spontaneous erections?
     
  13. shattered

    shattered Member

    I don't think I ever had ED because I could always masturbate solo with or without porn. My ED occurred with real women. The interesting thing is if I really didn't care what the woman thought, I could sometimes get it up.
     
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  14. shattered

    shattered Member

    So I fell into a familiar trap of just saying to myself once I have a really satisfying PMO experience, I'll stop it. So I've only watched porn a handful (pun intended) of times in the last 5 years, but today I relapsed. Funny thing is it probably last less than a minute. Anyways I don't necessarily believe that abstaining from masturbation is going to resurrect the high libido I wish I had. That said, I am going to try to get in better shape physically and avoid MO.

    Perhaps it's best to start a new thread, but I am curious to hear thoughts on Kegel exercises. Is there any downside?
     
  15. shattered

    shattered Member

    Not much to report other than I've only watched porn maybe 4 times in the last year. I watched it this morning and noticed I got erect with really no physical stimulation. So while I need to stay away from PMO, at least I have some confidence that I'm basically functioning properly. Convinced more and more it's all in my head and healing is possible, but will be a long journey.
     
  16. shattered

    shattered Member

    There is hope!
    I haven't been doing well, but then suddenly I am feeling well. For example I've been drinking a lot of alcohol and fell into depression one night.
    But, today, I just decided to watch a little normal porn featuring an older woman. Usually, I would say watching porn is a bad idea, and I will refrain from it going forward. But, I ended up getting a really nice erection with no manual stimulation, and my confidence that I'm physically and mentally ok is overwhelming. What I've learned is that if I'm relaxed and don't care about performance, then I do function properly.

    Resolving to not watch porn or MO from now on holding to the believe that I'm ok.
     
  17. shattered

    shattered Member

    Positive update.
    For the first time in a very long time, I could successfully have intercourse with a condom on with no pills.
    Now I did have an amazing blow job, but was pleased that once she put the condom on I could penetrate.
     
  18. shattered

    shattered Member

    Update: I'm not in a good place mentally. I'm analyzing myself and still suspecting that my MO habit with imagination and fantasy has messed me up big time.
     
  19. shattered

    shattered Member

    I feel like I'm Rocky beat down, and at the lowest point in my struggle. But I know I'm at a crossroads. It's either face these demons or have a pathetic life.

    My first step is visualizing myself 100 days from now.

    No MO at all.
    Maybe having trouble getting to sleep a few nights because I want to give into MO.
    Having that lingering doubt that it's not really PMO or MO, it's the Accutane I took. (This is the primary demon for me). This is the toughest psychological battle I can even imagine, but I can also visualize:
    Winning this tough psychological battle
    Getting into a training program and really making progress physically. Going as hard as I physically can on this in a reasonable manner.
    Pursuing the intellectual goal I've failed at over and over again for the past 7 years and making progress. Going as hard as I can towards this in a relentless manner.
    Actually talking to beautiful women in person in a relaxing way with no outcome dependence. Putting myself in new situations and thriving.

    Trusting that there is some spiritual component to this. I was deeply religious for years, but fell away.

    My guiding light right now is the life of David Goggins because he had no evidence that he had what it took to make it where he is today.
     
  20. Thisworld

    Thisworld Member

    What do you mean by that has messed with you? In terms of addicting behavior or about sexual dysfunctions?
     

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