Committing to a Porn Free Life. I CAN do this! Persistence is Everything.

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by R3balance, Oct 26, 2012.

  1. sepultur60

    sepultur60 lets rewire this shit !

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    i dont think anyone here replased as many times as i did,
    one here claimed he had 500 times before coming here,
    im even far more than that, im religious i pray, i have a relation with god,
    so i was in a constant flipping from addiction to pray, sometimes many times aday for many days,
    and sometimes for long periods about months with no p but with MO, or fantasy, sometimes weeks but the addiction is tere
    and thisyear i exhausted all my body and mental and spiritual power, im less lickly to succeed because im the weakest possible i even thought firmly till soon that i will not recover, even sleep didnt help
    but even thought i could make huge progress in less time, with apure determination
    here you have all the support to help you belive in your success, whatever your true nature is,
     
  2. R3balance

    R3balance Active Member

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    I know what you meen I came onto this forum because I had failed at rebooting for over a year I dont have a count on it thank goodness it could be a scary number as well, and had to try something new !

    Im religious as well, and praying for strength is great, but at the end of the day we are the ones in control of ourselves.

    We have to take control of ourselves and overpower the urges, I havent had to exert my will ever as strong as I do against this, which I am sure it is the same with all!

    Thats awesome you can go that long without porn, I had streaks like that as well, but on those streaks I was having MO's and forced erection hookups with girls, and the fact I had to force it with girls would make me feel like the process wasn't working but it wasn't working because I was mo'ing along the way too much, and forcing it.


    To me I think it has taken me a year to beat my P addiction But I have more of a MO addiction were I crave that dopamine release, and I binge hard and only use P to be able to MO more,,,

    thats why if I consciously MO'd right now I know I would not only slow my recovery but most likely binge on P to MO.

    (Hope that wasn't confusing!)

    Yea this forum is pretty awesome, its great to not go through this alone without people who know you really knowing!

    Its a really cool thought that this reboot can unlock your potential as a person and that we havent been living up to our capabilities because of this addiction, I also the Love the PMO tracker I think of it as a game! And I want to beat this game!

    Thanks for the response, stay positive and together we wont be saying too many failed attempts anymore!! Good luck!
     
  3. sepultur60

    sepultur60 lets rewire this shit !

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    yes we will make it, and be free,
    i just wanted to signal that praying was about keeping the relation, not primely to seek strength, even thought i get strength from it indeed, because as long as you comeback to the spirit you comeback to your own power source that the addiction tried to totally kill , because spiritual presence in us is such a disturbence to animal realization is us, and this is the nature of depression, and addiction and affliction, so connection means power and happiness, and disconnections means death after addiction and affliction,
    and yes, we musn't count on god to do things in our own selves
    we must do it and ask help, its not cheating :)
    " and im not confused with what you explained, its totally clear to me,"
    and i hope good for you purely, and wish to see only success and realization from you, because you are a son of Adam, and our enemy is one, and our ally is one also !
    differences no matter how they shape, are induced by satan , convincing us to adapt attitudes that are not based on the truth of what we must be living for, the divine truth !
     
  4. R3balance

    R3balance Active Member

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    Amen Brotha!

    I appreciate the support! And that day we reach success will be oh so sweet!


    Today has been a bit of a tough one, fought off multiple urges and will be leaving home for school super soon which will be great !!

    Feel I am progressing, concentration isn't the best but I feel it is beginning to improve slightly, feel overwhelmed at time with getting daily tasks done, feel as though I am sliding by doing the bare minimum right now, I hope in 3 weeks my motivation levels rise and my productivity also rises!

    Damn Procrastination!!


    Another day almost in the books, good luck everyone!!

    Day by Day!
     
  5. R3balance

    R3balance Active Member

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    I MO'd this morning so I have reset my MO counter,

    Not to thrilled about it, but at least it wasn't to P.

    Im gonna make 2 small goals fo MO, I want to go just 15 days without doing it then 30

    I have never gonna over 21 or 24 days without MOing and that is becoming the hardest part for me, I am doing very well with blocking the porn urges right now, dont want to increase the urges and delay the recovery by MOing.


    So Day 1 no MO today day 10+ no P
     
  6. sepultur60

    sepultur60 lets rewire this shit !

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    i know its hard, but i noticed there is a way out of this, i posted something on my journal that explains it,
    you have no idea how much power you can draw out of sexual energy if you steal its place from your consciousness, if sexual consciousness is stolen back back you, you gain all your brain " so no braing fog"
    and you have under your belt incredible power that is not urging you, just serving you without sexual consideration,
    read my latest post here
    http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=3493.msg54831#msg54831
     
  7. R3balance

    R3balance Active Member

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    Hey I just read your posts,

    and the video
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QvNRkSWIAi8

    funny enough I couldn't keep focus long enough to watch the whole video,, all jokes aside Im just about to run out the door, Ill give it a watch when I get home tonight!

    Thank you!
     
  8. sepultur60

    sepultur60 lets rewire this shit !

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    indeed , things need focus and commitment ;)
     
  9. R3balance

    R3balance Active Member

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    Just checking in, doing well with no P, starting to feel down as I have two separate girls I would lve to pursue right now, but I know if I did it would be bad news bears for my psychy and reboot process.

    I have been exceptionally social past couple days, I went clubbing last night and I think a reason I have felt on the down side is prolly a mix of the reboot and the booze hangover.

    Thoughts of my Ex gf sleeping with a cple guys is on my mind today and been making me sick.

    Annoys me because not only should I not care about what my ex does, I shouldn't care who she sleeps with were not together,, but we still hang out randomly and she still tells me she loves me which is pretty messed up I think, it doesnt help I am not 100% over her as she was my first and only love so far, and I havent been successfully intimate with someone else since I have been with her..


    Big motivator for me is at the end of this I need that sexual confidence, I need to not worry about will I work or not, like I said I have two girls who I get along with great who both had boyfriends when we first met and are both now single wanting to hangout, Im in my 20's I should be killing it, and this is my end goal of course.

    Thats what I keep in mind just not having anything holding me back from being a complete person or building potential relationships with others, because thats what lifes about to me, making the most of the time we have here.


    13 days of no PMO truly hasnt been that bad, its not been easy but this process is really not impossible, as the success stories show, I feel my motivation level to succeed is at a strong 12/10 right now, no more MOs, aint nothing to it but to do it!


    Good luck everyone, day by day !
     
  10. R3balance

    R3balance Active Member

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    Embarrassed just said no more MOS anddd
    :-[
    Having a down day,,


    Was my day 5 for not PMOing and what do i do I MO for the third time in a row on a day 5...

    To top that off literally within 5 minutes of Moing, a girl calls me and asks if she can come over for a nap, I said no because I have an exam tonight I have to cram for, and I just Mo'd so I dont think my sexual energy would be strong enough anyways.

    When I get stressed for exams it makes no PMO a lot harder. How does anyone handle night and morning erections? They make it really really hard to not MO, especially around day 4 -5, and im sure that just will get harder later on. The only times i have gone over 15 days were when I was working 2 jobs double shifting and barely had time to sleep, and I was exhausted.

    I am super concerned this is three times now at 5 days I have MO'd, at least it hasnt been a PMO or led to a MO or PMO binge, and creepy enough a year ago today was my day 15 where I went 15 days no PMO and MOD later in the night...
    creepy coincidence.

    I guess I need some tips from anyones experience with resisting MO with night time erections and morning erections, and controlling fantasy while in bed.

    Thank you
     
  11. R3balance

    R3balance Active Member

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    I had a little bit of a binge after a bad fight with my ex..

    Def. done seeing here it leads to nothing positive in my life and makes the rebooting process harder for me.

    I cant believe how many journals are on this site, its really kind of scary..

    I honestly feel like theres so many of us who have been negatively affected by being introduced to porn and then highspeed porn and porn tubes at such young ages something needs to change!

    The P industry is ruining lives! The first porn I ever saw was dads and brothers playboys and then softcore late night weekend porn where maybe you see a tit and some fake humping,, Nowadays kids when there super young can pop on to a porn tube and get ridiculous amounts of stimulation.

    I think something needs to change and it shouldnt be allowd :mad: Thats a little rant from me!



    My journaling is starting over, need to start taking control of my life and make it what I want it to be, no one is going to do it for me, I need to take the initiative and find the drive from within to: perform better at school, study more productively manage my sleep better, groom myself, eat properly, not PMO, rehab my arm and neck and get back my old athletic physique back.

    Anyone who supports me along the way is greatly appreciated!

    For real, Good luck to all on there reboots!
     
  12. sepultur60

    sepultur60 lets rewire this shit !

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    yeah the zionist and the illuminaties " anthechrist followers," they are behind this porn they want to erase the belief or the possibility to believe from the brains, by filling them with so many sexual chains, and loads of whoreshit;
    in china porn sites are tottaly forbiden by the gouvernement, and guess what a girl in china can go down town in empty street and never be harrassed, they are in deed clean!
    i encourage you
    just remember internet and computer are container addictions, i mean after removing porn which is the end condition, the hardest thing to remove is the internet and computer addiction because they mean insurance that porn can comeback; i tried to stop all once and it was real hell,
    but i wasnt aware of practically all the aspects of the addiction and the reboot process!!
    but its a fight man, i wish there was a real group of activities , something like a club, for sport and travel and all, to clear that mind!
    but we have to do it, its hard but a must !
    r3balance dont talk to me only after 40 days, and if you feel yourself tolerating something that lead to relapse talk about it, and we will help each other clear it!
    good luck
     
  13. R3balance

    R3balance Active Member

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    Thanks for the kinda words brother!

    Been an okay three days have barely been home or alone last three days, so not much of a test!

    I feel okay though, I have a list of the reasons why I am rebooting right beside my laptop screen on a cork board on the wall behind my desk!
    The hardest part of the last three days is most of my buddies have been talking about girls the have smashed, or just lots of sex talk in general, or plans to go girl hunting with my newly single buddy, its kinda tough because I want to be doing the same and I am an unable at the moment,,
    But thats why I am here, thats why I am doing this, to change myself for the better!
    Feel positive, I feel like once I take control of this I can start taking control of other areas in my life!
    Need to see this all the way through, keep it going and good job sepultur60 we will get through this!

    Thank you and same to you!
     
  14. sepultur60

    sepultur60 lets rewire this shit !

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    :) pure good feelings are necessary spice for reboot!
    I stopped using computer & Internet ! Its easy when you remove thé idea and focus on thé image of a free you! I know i havé Internet and computer addiction , they all havé been the conditions and thé path for porn! Lets face it! Whenever i use computer i want to use Internet and ifeel myself under a hypnosis taking me uncondciously down , and i CAN only wake up by a sorry O!
    I remember when all this furst started , before it i was realy happy sport Guy and strong ! I fuckinh néed to comeback to that restoration date,and thatts a reboot! You havé to remember you good restoration date and State or image! Then start rebooting properly! Or else reboot is useless!
    Do you feel me Man.?
    Good luck sincerly! You Will do it! Just meditate, and dont rush to résulte , most people hère just change. P addiction with sex addiction! That nasty. And regretable later!
    Ok im on mom iPhone! And i dont want coming hère become a possible porn path for m'y animal brain! :)
    we must do a thread about people in their first week! And we talk once a week to encourage and Plan. Weekly activities for every one ! That genius ?! Think about it! Chao!
     
  15. R3balance

    R3balance Active Member

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    Thats a good idea sepultur60 but
    I cant even make it a week myself to give others advice, I cant even get past 5 days lately,,
    I dont want to be one of those fat personal trainers telling people how to workout :(

    I feel as though I have hit rock bottom and have felt like giving up and just accepting it.

    Which is messed up, I keep typing on here exactly what I am feeling and I dont understand how I go one minute from being very positive here I go I am going to do this! And then a few days later I MO and PMO till my dick hurts,,
    This is really starting to depress me, I feel not Im not only letting myself down but anyone who reads my posts as well.

    Im really feeling like a failure now and I am not looking for pity I just am not seeing the light not even close.
    I feel so lazy latley cant do school work, cant even make my bed after I washed my sheets, cant be bothered to go grocery shopping or cook, cant be bothered to go to sleep at an early time and wake up before noon, I am just so ashamed of myself of my addiction inability to take control of it, and to live my life.
    I seriously dont know what to do anymore I feel like giving up
     
  16. Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    Okay bro, this sounds familiar to me. When I first started I was in a depression funk and had anxiety. In addition ED was also a big deal. I've noticed on your posts your having problems just going past around 14-20 days...now we can all put motivation posts and try to give ideas on what to do, but at the end of the day you just need to think about the bigger picture. (It was hard for me as well, I think it is especially at first.) Look, you don't want to think about when the next time your going to masturbate is. Don't concentrate so much on the number of days, but keeping your mind off the topic of anything porn, women, or masturbation. It's hard, but unless you really want it you will keep falling back into old habits. When I get down or feel hopeless I think about where I can go...If I go back to PMO then I am having a love affair with my brain, tv, internet, but not another person. If you keep moving forward some day you will be having crazy hot sex with a girl you know is beautiful. It will be that much better because you will be all over her and she will loveeeee it.

    In addition, do you workout? If so I've stopped taking Nitric oxide supplements cause they fuck around with my libido and emotional states. Just fyl. Also, I've noticed having your door open or not spending time in your room will help alot. As a fellow student I can empathize your situation. I was in Computer engineering at 3rd best university in the country and couldn't complete it because of my issues...shit sucks, but I have new plans =) You may need to do the best you can for now and maybe take a semester off to deal with your issues, that's what I've been forced to do. But at the end of the day dude, once you regain a better control it does become easier!!! Also, I've noticed you take more pleasure in daily activities, music, interests. You gain your life back...I mean I forgot almost what I was like before PMO because I was so fucked up. I think we're all born of broken men. When you hit rock bottom you can either stay there or come up. Choice is yours...there will be good and bad days. Just remember you have the power to control your hands, same idea as someone addicted to cigarettes has the power to not buy a pack. You do NOT have to MO or watch porn. You may want to, but there is not real need it is all in your head!!!

    Good luck
     
  17. sepultur60

    sepultur60 lets rewire this shit !

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    i understand,
    i always noticed that when i wasnt completly doing something and advise the others; i give them the energy im supposed ot use,
    but about your 5 days limits; just doing say you cant, you say you cant because when it gets hard " after you let sexual thinking into your mind because you want sex obviously" your logical mind says, "look; only five days and look at you, the beast will only get bigger and stronger and it will kill you,
    thats what would happen to everyone
    but you have ot clear the idea, as long as you clear the idea, the sexual power is only a power, not sexual, and you must know that this program is only to plug you when you are ready with a real girl to marry or have fun with, and have a real life, emptied from virtual
    good luck, im also having a hard day, as soon as i let sexual fantasy into my mind, its a sutruggle, but i know i have to empty or else its auto hypnosis till relapse! where a pmo is the clap to wake up
     
  18. R3balance

    R3balance Active Member

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    Sorry I didnt respond right away Dazedadconfused but your words really hit home to me, ED and PE are my issues, with anxiety anger and unmotivated depressing feelings, I have been very up and down since I have been on the forum and for the past year or so. After I read your post I seriously just turned my computer off and have avoided it since.. It has helped a little bit seeing as I am almost at 5 days, on day 2 I did go down on a girl told her I am doing a personal challenge to not do anything sexual right now, at first it made her want me more, but I kept my jeans on,, Was kinda depressed and horny the day after but I stayed away from my computer and got out of the house. Leaving the house seriously works though! I will def keep that in my mind next time urges come would I rather do this or wait a little longer and have the real thing!

    With working out thats been a really hard part for me I use to play sports all the time in high school, and I have been dealing with a shoulder injury and nerve problems that make working out extremely difficult for me and I am trying to rehab it right now, its def a big missing part of my life that I miss greatly and I cant wait to be healed because it will help my recovery greatly. I have never been into PWO with NO or caffeine but when I start working out again when that magical day happens when its not just once in awhile to see where my body is at I have a few creatine and other things. My body is nowhere near what it use to be and how I want it to be, feeling out of shape def has not helped my mental state.


    Yeaa being a student def makes it harder working on hmwrk isolated with your computer in your room jeeez! I have given myself a year to sort my self out, physically and mentally before next september I will be ft in school again, I am only taking four classes, which I know to some is a lot but the past two years I have taken 6+ and I personally if I took a semester off my life would drastically change for the worse would lose one of my jobs that depends on me bing in school and I would have tos tart paying rent and I would prolly fall into a depression as I feel very pressured by time to accomplish so much before I turn 25 then 30, although my marks suffered no thanks to PMO..

    Good to read how positive you are even with the change of plans thats awesome!


    You gain your life back...I mean I forgot almost what I was like before PMO because I was so fucked up. I think we're all born of broken men. When you hit rock bottom you can either stay there or come up. Choice is yours...there will be good and bad days. Just remember you have the power to control your hands, same idea as someone addicted to cigarettes has the power to not buy a pack. You do NOT have to MO or watch porn. You may want to, but there is not real need it is all in your head!!!

    Good luck


    These are the words that really registered for me, There my hands and I am in control of them!!!

    I must control them if I want to get what I need and want!

    Thank You

    @sepultur60

    Oh No!! What cued your relapse today :(
    yeaa I have to stop telling myself I cant because I can and we can! And thats how we have to think, that sexual thinking is so consuming, and i think in these early stages the only way for me to resist them is to immediately turn off all screens tvs computers phone, and if its still there to just get out of the house no matter what !

    I believe in you man we can do this!
     
  19. sepultur60

    sepultur60 lets rewire this shit !

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    thank you man , i promise i will do it,
    i willlll!!!!!!!!!
     
  20. R3balance

    R3balance Active Member

    Re: Too many failed Attempts..

    I know you will!

    Been doing pretty well right now, finally past 5 days aha! almost done a full week!

    Was alone with a girl in my car today for about an hour and all I could think about was sex , dont want to describe what I wanted to do or what I was think or what my body was feeling but mentally my libido is through the roof and my nob is awol of course lol!

    Felt like I was thinking about her like an object so I kept telling myself that was wrong and tried to stop !

    She is coming over tomorrow to study and have a nap in my bed and I am going to be doing homework,,,
    Not sure if this was her plan to try and have sex with me as we have been hanging out a little bit.
    I am a little nervous and not sure what I should do, last time she came over I just kept my jeans done up tight, and said Im doing this for a personal achievement right now, and pleasure her again,,

    I think shes going to want me really bad and I am so fresh into this reboot I dont want to ruin it :mad:
    I even had a dream about it was weird we were fore playing around and I was about to enter her and I felt like I was about to finish instantly and I pulled away and said I cant right now I need to finish my reboot loool, this was my dream btw!!
    sooo hopefully my pants stay on tight! and nothing sexual! Shes so fine too,,,,hope she doesnt think im gay ahhh!

    Made a topic in porn induced ed called srs hot to not MO, and a member told me he wears extra boxers at night while he sleeps, and thats actually made a difference for me, I get soooooo soooo horny around 2am-5am in my sleep and usually wake up moing or with a boner etc, really hard to control when half asleep, so ive been wearing 2-3 boxers and its working so far!

    sounds silly but im for real.

    Taking this super seriously now, need to get my life on track, I have a list of things I need to sort out in my life and this is #1 right now. My hands, and I control them, 1 day at a time and theres no where to go from the bottom i hit but up!


    Good luck everyone keep fighting the urges! Its not worth that feeling, that feeling when your with a girl and not working, or that feeling of hopelessness and no point, we will be so different after this and be able to be our true selves!
     

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