Clovis’s journal

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Clovis6, May 17, 2020.

  1. Clovis6

    Clovis6 Active Member

    RNW - What to Expect in an Early Healthy Recovery Process


    1. Commitment to Recovery

    2. Euphoria/Unrealistic Expectations

    3. Natural Motivation

    4. Effort Required to Sustain Motivation

    5. Thoughts/Urges/Behaviour Return

    6. Critical Point: Crisis Resolution

    7. Commitment to Health

    8. Actual Recovery Begins

    9. First Overt Compulsive Urge in the True Recovery Process Occurs

    10. First Overt Compulsive Behaviour in the True Recovery Process Occurs

    11. Self-Awareness

    12. Critical Point: Core Doubt/Fear

    13. First Realistic Expectations Occur

    14. First Personal Recovery Strategy Developed

    15. Critical Point: Accepting/Managing Reality

    16. Second Recovery Strategy Developed

    17. Critical Point: Relapse Prevention
     
  2. Clovis6

    Clovis6 Active Member

    RNW - Lesson One - Laying the Foundation for Permanent Change




    Recovering from addiction, or any pattern of compulsive behaviour, is much like climbing Everest. Simply wanting to climb is not enough. It takes effort. It takes commitment.


    You will fail if not properly trained.


    Addiction isa pattern of destructive behaviour that is rooted in compulsion and emotional immaturity. It is not, however, a fate.


    Change is not only possible, it is unavoidable.


    Continue to pursue a since, complete commitment to rebuilding the core of who you are - building a life based on an evolving value system - and the change will involve living a life that you simply cannot currently comprehend.


    The single greatest predictor of success - be it in business, relationships, or in addiction recovery - is found in the sincerity of the commitment to succeed. Should you fail to permanently recover from your addiction, it will be due to your inability to fully commit to recovery. You will never recover from addiction - ever - without the desire to eliminate it permanently from your life.


    The root of addiction is not found in the behaviour itself; rather, it attaches to the core of your identity.


    Passive vs. Active Recovery


    Choosing an active recovery means more than simply controlling your compulsive thoughts and behaviours; it means making the choice to eliminate addictive patterns from your life forever.


    Make recovery your top priority above everything else.


    When you have made an active commitment to change, you wi[ll come to have your compulsive behaviour. You will see it’s devastating consequences and vow to conquer it. You will see Recovery not as a punitive consequence of a failed life, but an extraordinary challenge to become the person you want to be. A challenge to take pride in.
     
  3. Clovis6

    Clovis6 Active Member

    RNW - Lesson One - Laying the Foundation for Permanent Change - Exercises


    A. Three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change in early recovery are:
    1. actively committing yourself to change
    2. Not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change
    3. Allowing yourself time to to change

    Consider where you feel you are in relation to each of these recovery keys.

    1. I feel that I am more committed to change than ever before. In the past, previous attempts at rebooting consisted of me attempting to white-knuckle it and rely on willpower alone, which didn’t work out so well. I think that there also was a subconscious thought that if I get through the 90 days then I could go back to previous behaviour. (Which is what I did)
    2. I have to acknowledge that guilt and shame is not going to help me with my recovery. I have to do everything possible to help me with the recovery, especially letting go of things that I’ve associated with the addiction.

    3. While keeping up momentum, I have to be patient and allowing this to take as long as it takes.

    B. List ten to fifteen reasons why you seek to permanently change your life.


    1. I have to have a healthy intimate relationship.
    2. I don’t want to cheat on my GF using PMO as the ‘other woman’
    3. I want to become better at sex!
    4. I want to be clearer at thinking and planning, and I am certain that PMO clouds my mind.
    5. I want to free up energy that had gone. Into PMO, either doing it or thinking about it, to go to other more important areas.
    6. I want to explore what it means and feels like to be a better person.
    7. I don’t want to be addicted to anything.
    8. I’ve been working on my own business for a while now. AS I become more free of PMO< I can focus on the business more and more.
    9. I have never been in touch with my emotions. This is a good opportunity to learn about them and become better in touch with them.
    10. If I don’t quit this addiction, it will be a death bed regret.
    11. I’ve always had a tendency to hide from things. Quitting this addiction should make me less likely to do this.
    12. The challenge of recovery is a fascinating one for me.
    13. I can share the insights I get from this with others, and hopefully help them.
    14. The addiction is getting in the way of my spiritual life, in the way of life in general
    15. It’s just the right thing to do!
     
    -Luke- and realness like this.
  4. realness

    realness Member

    #10 above, wow bro. That hits me hard. Keep going!
     
    -Luke- likes this.
  5. Clovis6

    Clovis6 Active Member

    Thanks. It certainly gave me a lot of motivation when that one sunk in.
     
  6. Clovis6

    Clovis6 Active Member

    RNW - Lesson Two - Establishing a Healthy Vision for Your Life


    Addiction and health apt separate, conflicting entities - they exist at opposite ends of a single continuum. Addiction is not keeping you from living a healthy life. It is not the reason you are struggling. Addiction and it’s consequences are merely symptoms; the reason you are struggling is because you have yet to learn how to manage your life in a healthy way.

    It was not the addiction that triggered the life crisis...it was the lack of healthy life management skills that triggered the addiction.

    It is vital that you understand this.

    Health is not abstinence.

    Develop a vision for your life.

    People who are struggling to commit themselves to a vision for their life are really struggling with one of the most fundamental issues there is to struggle with: their own mortality.

    Pursue your vision with passion.

    So what would keep someone from creating such a vision? The answer is the same answer that can be applied to why some are unable to fully commit themselves to ending their addiction: mortality. Not the fear of dying, but the fear of accepting that they are living a finite life. Because they cannot accept this, they tend to hold desperately to all options, to all potential. They don’t want to limit themselves because that would mean closing off a part of themselves forever. Subconsciously, closing off certain life options is to acknowledge the finite qualities of one’s life. It is to acknowledge that time and experience are no longer infinite.
     
  7. Mad Dog

    Mad Dog Well-Known Member

    Very informative. You need to make a complete and binding effort. Talking and reading and thinking is fine but you must have action. The movement only begins when you act upon it.
     

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