I've decided to make a new journal, because the old one was getting too crowded. I already know Underdog doesn't like it when people make multiple journals, but I don't think it will hurt that I make a new journal a whole year after my first one. For people who don't know me, here's a brief summary of my life and circumstances: You can call me Cham. I am a 20 year college engineering student who is addicted to masturbation. I don't consider myself addicted to porn, because if left unchecked, I could just masturbate and not need porn for the rest of my life. Porn is just an enabler for me to get the high and the escapism that I get from masturbation. I always have needed to escape because growing up, I didn't have the best social life. I was hated in elementary and middle school, poked fun at, and even tempted into fights. I wasn't alone, but everyone knew that I was the outcast kid. The one that didn't belong. It got much better in high school, but I picked up the masturbation beforehand. I was relaxing in my room looking at a magazine that a friend (what a friend he is, right!) let me borrow. I was just touching my genitals when suddenly I experienced an orgasm...of course I didn't know what was happening but this how I discovered masturbation. Ever since then I've used that as a a mean to an end. I use masturbation as a way to escape from my daily problems. It's something that needs to be fixed and I'm willing to work on it. So this is where the reboot comes into play. I've tried to reboot many times, but didn't really get serious about it until a year ago when I got a crush on the girl next door Erika Alexandra. I told myself that i had to quit the addiction before I would ask her out. It's a very long story but I got clean enough to ask her out and she said yes, however, after a relapse, I haven't been able to regain the momentum that I gathered back then. Me and Erika are still going out and I hope that this continues. This is the " second" attempt at me really trying to better myself and rebooting and I really hope that this time, I can break away from these chains and fly..achieving my potential is what drives me everyday, and I'm just not there yet. I don't have ED or any other dysfunction or disorder to really gauge my process like a lot of people on the forum has. I just feel like masturbating and porn is something that needs to be out of my life for me to be able to live a fulfilling life. Some may disagree with that, but that's how I see it. So for this reason, I'll do everything in my power to try to stop this. However, on a scale to ten, my level of addiction is a ten...I am deeply addicted, and it's going to take strenuous and luck, and praying for me to overcome this. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read, I will try my best to not mess up and I encourage you guys to do the same.