Challenge to Myself

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by avengemyself, Dec 3, 2017.

  1. avengemyself

    avengemyself Member

    My history: Been trying to quit porn for 2+ years, but have failed again and again. Longest I ever went was about one month. However, despite all of my failures, I feel I've learned a few lessons along the way that will help me in the future. And I'm ready to start again.

    The one time that I managed to go 1 month without porn, I believe it was because I did several things right:

    1. Have an optimistic vision of the future
    2. Sleep early, wake up early (having a good circadian rhythm is very important!)
    3. Avoid ALL triggers!
    4. Accept that the urge is there, but don't act on it
    5. Try to have a good relationship with family (will be hard, but must try)

    This time, I have a few advantages:
    1. I am now a believer in God, and speaking for myself, I feel that this is something that will help me in my journey.
    2. I have more friends.

    This time around, I will need to work on a few other things:

    1. Have a life vision/goal/passion!
    2. Remember, not ONE MORE TIME!
    3. Shower early


    And so it begins......... Today, December 3rd, 2017, is Day One!
     
  2. avengemyself

    avengemyself Member

    Day One:

    Felt some urges from the Chaser Effect, but told myself of the motto- "Not One More Time". Was a good day and it's now time to sleep.
     
  3. avengemyself

    avengemyself Member

    Day Four:

    Been eating a lot in order to gain weight, and have been noticing a significant increase in urges. Probably because the fat in my diet is increasing my testosterone levels. Must stay strong.
     
  4. BuddhaPunkRobotMonk

    BuddhaPunkRobotMonk Administrator Staff Member

    Hi avengemyself! How are your resolutions going? With your family, life goal and showering early. It's good to see that you have a good plan for when the urges come. It's important to always be consistent and put it in place when you are triggered. Never make the decision to just "skip it". That path leads towards relapse. Wish you the best on your reboot.
     
  5. avengemyself

    avengemyself Member

    Thank you for the kind words my friend, really appreciate it. I am trying my best but still need to work on consistency. Haven't talked to family yet. Wish u the best luck too.
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2017
  6. avengemyself

    avengemyself Member

    Day 6:

    Damn it! Last night I ended up staying up late due to an upset stomache, felt tired and bored, and the urges creeped in.... didn't watch porn but ended up browsing a nasty forum where there were some nasty pics..... I managed to close my computer and go to sleep.

    But I fear that even a few peeks was a relapse. I don't know if I should start over from day one due to the peeking? Did peeking mess me up already?

    Or should I just suck it up and continue... if any of u is by chance reading, what do u think? Thank u.
     
  7. avengemyself

    avengemyself Member

    Will make the decision later today.
     
  8. avengemyself

    avengemyself Member

    Thank you bro, after consulting with several other Nofappers I've decided not to reset, I will continue my streak.
     
  9. avengemyself

    avengemyself Member

    Day 7: A million little voices in my head telling me to give in.... "you already peeked, just relapse", "this nofap shit aint worth it, ur missing out on all the fun", "relapse already you will never amount to anything anyways", "ur dick is dead dude you gotta test it", "porn in moderation is fine", etc etc.

    But I won't give in... not yet at least. This time I'm serious about my journey. I will keep pushing.

    One thing though.... I gotta sleep earlier! I keep breaking this rule and every time it leads me to danger.
     
  10. avengemyself

    avengemyself Member

    Managed to beat the urges..... Today was a good day. Need to stay off of instagram though.
     
    Kick likes this.
  11. Kick

    Kick Active Member

    I like your name @avengemyself it's very motivating.

    You are a man pushing a boulder up a hill, don't let it fall on you!
     
  12. avengemyself

    avengemyself Member

    Thank you my friend, I like yours as well, and I like your analogy. Let's kick this addiction!
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2017
    Kick likes this.
  13. avengemyself

    avengemyself Member

    Day 15: Wow, over two weeks. But have been experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms these past few days. Been having problems sleeping, mood swinging like crazy, dark thoughts, thinking of the past, boredom, etc. I really don't remember the withdrawals being this bad the last time I went one month no PMO. But what can I do? Just gotta fight it.

    On a positive note- I notice that certain activities in real life, such as working out, are now giving me greater pleasure. I also have been noticing some serious muscle gains.

    I'm will continue my fight and will be ready for whatever happens.
     
    Kick likes this.
  14. avengemyself

    avengemyself Member

    Day 24:

    Managed not to completely relapse so far. This is my second longest streak ever. But, I feel like I'm fantasizing so much that my brain is still filled with dopamine. I am having lots of trouble falling asleep, which is why I'm posting this at 2AM here. Have peeked a few times. This really is turning out to be a bumpy ride but I will keep riding for the time being...

    Starting tomorrow, I must stop all peeking, Facebook, instagram, etc, and try to keep fantasy as little as possible.
     
  15. jkl

    jkl Member

    I see your avatar is from the movie Equilibrium. A good, underrated movie that has some good philosophical topics in it.
     
  16. avengemyself

    avengemyself Member

    Indeed.
     

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