Challenge to all those who need support

Relapsed on my sixth day, sometimes it gets really difficult to read when you are having urges.

 

Day 3
I'm depressed and have a flatline. It feels very uncomfortable. I'm not keen to wake up in the mornings and also I always sleep very bad. I can´t focus on anything and I can't enjoy the things that I used to. BTW I'm fine XD

 

Thank YOU man, this really cheers me up !
I believe that even though we still didn't achieve much and that we're still relapsing and learning from this, I'm definitely sure that we're progressing and that we're becoming better men. Feel free to share your thoughts here, we'll aim high together.

Welcome senor_falconio !
I'm glad you're joining us. We'll support each other and overcome this no matter how much this is tough and no matter how much we fail or feel down.

Update :
Unfortunately I won't be able to stay active this month, but I will definitely not relapse and I'll come see how you're managing yourselves by the end of April. Stay strong mates and aim high ;D

 

Thanks Black_Mask! You rule!

 

Thanks Man

So, how are you guys doing ?

 

I am doing good. Increased my meditation. I chillout more and somehow I started to study more. its a good feeling, though I know now this is really difficult to beat than I thought.

 

Good for you man !
I haven't been practicing meditation regularly during the last month but yesterday I decided to do it daily from now on.
Do you practice it with your eyes closed ?


I noticed I'm becoming more aware of my feelings, I realized this morning that I have the ability to remain calm when I'm facing a problem; actually I realized that the most important thing is to accept that you're having a problem and let the feelings go through you, then just like magic all the negative emotions will cease and your mind will become clear, you'll feel in control, it's like your mind is waiting for you to deal with your problem in a calm state. It's a really soothing and refreshing feeling.

I also realized that I was focusing a lot about the abstinence days and that each time I relapse it feels like I went back to the starting point which is actually not real, given that I have actually changed. So instead of quickly recover from the relapse, forget about it and move forward I spend a lot time feeling regret and making myself believe that I'm back to my old self.

 

Yes I do it with my eyes closed. there are lot of techniques. two techniques I mostly use.
1. focus on my breathing or what my mind brings up. whatever my mind brings up I don't chase it. I just look at it and let it pass.
2. focus on your surrounding. focus on elements surrounding you. eg:- Kid playing, insects making noise, birds etc.
in both techniques I have my eyes closed. as I am trying to improve myself into a better person every week the first one is my favourite.

it's good that you have decided to meditate. and we shouldn't be focused on how many days we haven't fapped. we should focus on how many little goals we have achieved each day. some questions pop up when I am in college. like have I cleaned my room? is my room a chaos? have I picked up the cup which I look at everyday?. even if you pick up all your shit and put it under some rug you still know that you didn't solve the problem. you just hid it. you know you cannot lie to yourself. meditation trains you to be honest with yourself.

 

I guess that I'm kind of using the first technique. I let whatever comes to my mind passing by but instead of focusing on something I just go like "blank", I just become empty and "feel" the present moment. I actually don't know if that's considered mindfulness or not.
And I prefer meditating with my eyes open.

You made a very good point, thanks

 

Update
I thought I should share this.
I relapsed 2 times in 9 days. first time it was on my 7th day which is the longest to me and 2nd time was today i.e the 3rd day.

the important thing I want to share is about my 7 th day relapse. everything was great, I was feeling good, got a lot of my academic word done. I had a feeling that I was being in control of myself.
but at the morning of my 7th day I had a wet dream and as I was ejaculating I woke up, so the semen was getting out but it stopped in the track. that means it was still in my penis. so I was scared and I went to pee, the peeing stream wasn't as regular, it didn't hurt though. so I was scared and I ejaculated i.e. relapsed. I didn't want to take any chances as I have read various forum threads regarding semen leakage.
?
I didn't want to freak anyone out. but I had to share this. sometimes I think sharing here keeps me sane, as there is no one I can talk to about these matters.

 

This same thing happened to me a few days back. I was kissing a girl in a dream and I had the feeling that I'm going to ejaculate so I woke up immediately and held it. It felt good at first then it was really terrible. I went to pee and I decided to feel good again, this happened to me before (but without me holding it) and I ended up relapsing as you did, so this time I was prepared, I didn't let it fuck up my mood. I had a very good day afterwards and I'm still feeling good until this moment, that wet dream didn't have a chance to affect me.

I don't know though if it's bad to hold the semen and either way I personally didn't have the choice, I do not want to deal with the mess later on.

 

Update

I just went through the testosterone spike, it is awesome. I will always keep in mind this feeling, I'll aim for it again and I'll try to always feel that way. I'm gonna start by getting in that mood before the workout and when I'm having urges (which just started today).

 

Ya Man Holding semen is kinda scary. there was an article I read Somewhere Which had title "Fap or no Fap, there is no edging". in this article it said edging causes certain chemicals in your brain to wake up and these chemical never let you do a thing without thinking about relapsing. edging also sometimes causes peeing problems etc. so to me waking up before ejaculating is kinda edging.

testosterone Spike ? can you tell about it more? what did you feel? is that often when you abstain?

 

I don't think you can consider this edging. First, it wasn't intentional you had a wet dream and you couldn't have done anything about it, then edging is bad for because you're teasing yourself and practicing over and over again the feeling of getting aroused (which is similar to porn) and it's even worse if you're fantasizing about porn or the desires that you're trying to keep away. It's like relapsing but without ejaculating, which is in my opinion worst because you'll feel horny all the time. Edging has nothing to do with a holding yourself after a wet dream.

It happens around the 7th day of abstinence. For me it's during the 8th day. It's when you get a boost of testosterone to its maximum level. So you get a "manly" feeling, you feel strong and motivated, like you're prepared for war

Read this if you want to know more http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/selected-testosterone-research

 

Hey man how are you doing there ?

It's been a lot ! I'm personally not doing great, I've been no PMOing and relapsing over and over again. I'm psychologically trapped. Each time I relapse I feel weak and that I need at least 10 days to feel good again, so for the first 10 days I feel like shit and "limited" like I can't do certain things or react like I actually want to because I just relapsed. And even though I know that most of it isn't real and that is only in my mind I can't do nothing about it. So I either have to stop PMOing for good or I'll be living like this, trapped in this cycle.

I hope you're doing better than me

 

I'm doing good ........Still haven't reached my 15 day goal though

 

Good, as long as you're feeling better then that's all that matters. I'd like to hear from you every once in a while

As for me I'm standing in a line between no PMO forever and the endless loop of relapses. I won't give up

 

Sup guys. Day 15 here on 2nd reboot, I'm coming out of a mini flatline so I'm in a dangerous place. Wanted to post here so I can chat with you guys and keep my eyes on the prize.

 

Welcome man
It's good to see you didn't give up and that you're back on your feet again !
Don't get concerned about the flatline, see it as a challenge you need to take in order to overcome PMOing.
Good luck