Challenge to all those who need support

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by black_mask, Feb 1, 2015.

  1. black_mask

    black_mask Guest

    Update

    I gave a lot of thinking about habits and I came out with the conclusion that when I'm rebooting and not replacing porn with anything and just spending the whole day on the computer or sticking to the old boring habits I end up being sucked up by porn given it's what have been filling these empty holes. While when I workout, take cold showers and add other good habits into my every day life I create a resistance against the urges to watch porn and against filling the emptiness with bad habits. Changing your everyday life is necessary to overcome this. And while this is not easy at all, the past two years I succeeded in "creating'' another part of me which is like an observer, someone who is trying to make experiments, so the observer is continuously keeping an eye on the subject in order to make the experiment a success. This is my own way of dealing with this. I did manage to quit smoking with this method after all and I started taking cold showers because of this curious part of me who wanted to make these experiments and see how far I can go.

    But lately I've been feeling the urges very strongly so I decided I'll be adding more good habits. I always thought about meditating, learning a new language, learning new things in general and learning things that have nothing to do with my field of interest. And I spent a lot of time browsing the Internet reading about these stuff and organizing them and looking for the perfect book etc... And I end up not doing any of them, spending so many hours looking for what I should do and how to get things done kill the motivation. When I really want to do something paradoxically I resist it and I'm very skeptical about doing it. So I decided that I'll be adding a new habit after another and I'll just do it even if it's not perfectly arranged, I won't think about it, I'll just do it and see where it will head me to.

    Current habits :
    -Working out
    -Cold showers (everyday)
    -Praying
    -Extra praying at night

    New ones :
    -Add running, mountain climbing and other activities in my workout routine later on
    -Meditation (20 mn daily) starting from tomorrow and I'll stuck with it as long as it doesn't interfere with my prayers or with my religious beliefs (one of the main reasons I've been having doubts about doing this)
    -Reading books (while I am actually reading a book, I've been going through it in a very slow pace so I'm going to set limits for how many days I spend on it and try to clear the list I always wanted to complete)

    For now that will be it and I'll see how this will go.
    Also, when I had the urges I searched for a replacement to porn and I don't know how this video came through me and I have find it very motivating so I'll share it here (it's a 1 hour video though)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8a5fO8jE7mc
     
  2. Sepultera

    Sepultera New Member

    update
    relapsed on my fifth day and this time it wasn't that bad.

    for the last four days I was busy and therefore I didn't daydream ( which causes me to imagine softcore stuff sometimes ). started having good sleep which helps me to work out even more.
     
  3. Sepultera

    Sepultera New Member

    @black_mask
    I am a fan of RSD tyler and I will sure check this video out.
     
  4. black_mask

    black_mask Guest

    What do you mean by it wasn't that bad ?
    And you should be proud of yourself even though you relapsed because you broke the myth of the four days and you went for 5 days without porn. Now that means you can go even further. Don't hold back keep going and beat your previous record :D
     
  5. Sepultera

    Sepultera New Member

    @black_mask
    I meant to say the feeling after relapse wasn't really that bad.
    and yes I know now that I can surpass that four day bullshit that I keep telling my brain.
     
  6. black_mask

    black_mask Guest

    @Sepultera
    Hey man, I'm on my 11th day. I made it through 10 days and I'll be going further.
    When are you joining me ? ;D
     
  7. Sepultera

    Sepultera New Member

    Damn.... 12 days, you are on fire. congratulations you won the 10 day challenge.

    Relapse- I discovered something after all these days of focusing on my thoughts (i.e. what I think about most in my day and stuff) that I relapse mostly when I am alone. not sad alone but alone in a dark room with a laptop/phone.
    yesterday I wasn't into it while PMOing even though I was watching it somewhere in my mind there was a repulsion. This happened because I know now that pornstars don't live the life we live. if you don't believe me just go to youtube and see any pornstar's interview. Not all of them but most of them will just sound stupid to you, the way they talk, the stuff they talk sounds just plain stupid.

    I am studying in a technical field, I am trying to build a future, my life. so I cannot let this people affect my life. these people have no life for themselves. How could a woman be so happy about being raped or screwed by five men? is she happy because she had crew and cameraman surrounding her ?, there was this pornstar she got an award for a scene where she got screwed by five men and got an award for it, holding the award she said "I'd like to thank my Mum". WTF? really? this should tell you that you are wasting your manhood on not being a man to real women.

    I am posting a link here on which I stumbled upon and stopped on the track. there are real women out there. we are just too lazy to fight for them because of porn.

    just keep your calm(there might be some triggering words for you) while reading this link that I am posting. the end part is beautiful.
    http://www.salon.com/2014/02/18/tales_of_a_female_sex_addict/

    and last but not the least. I am joining today. lets go for ten days again. this time I know I can go somewhere. 8)
     
  8. black_mask

    black_mask Guest

    @Sepultera

    I agree one hundred percent with you, the porn industry is shit. But I don't think you should value yourself by degrading the porn stars or the screenwriters. I'm not saying they don't deserve it, they do ! But what you should focus on is yourself.
    What you're doing is that you're motivating yourself by looking down on them in order to feel more valued. This is your problem, even if they caused the addiction in the first place, try to see it as you allowed that to happen, see it as an internal conflict. Believe me, you can feel strong when you're comparing yourself to "inferior" human beings, but you will only feel truly powerful when you conquer yourself and be the only one to control your own life.

    Neither being an aggressive nor a passive is the solution. There is a fine line between both of them and which is very hard to stand on but once you discover it you'll find out you're in the perfect state.

    I'll definitely reach 23 days. I've been building up a strong base since the last time I relapsed in order to overcome this.
    Good luck to you man. Make it to 10 days and go beyond that :D
     
  9. Sepultera

    Sepultera New Member

    That's the truth of course. I never get judgemental, but few days ago I was relaxing/meditating then suddenly I was like "say what you want to say and be done with it". I never comment on any thing that is wrong out there because I will sound Judgemental. but this time I didn't care I wrote stuff in my diary which I was holding in my chest for a long time. This release was real good. All the misfortunes and betrayal I have faced I somehow saw them through different angles when I was writing.

    In short what I wanted to say was. I separated myself form porn. put that industry in its place and myself right in the present.

    I would be a Hypocrite if I called them as inferior beings. Because I pleasured myself looking at them while they pleasured themselves.
    OR
    I may be speaking the truth because the dopamine led me there where I didn't want to go, they are inferior and I wouldn't be a hypocrite if I called them inferior.

    There are just questions. there is no perfect answer. You just have to keep your calm. You are right @black_mask we have to conquer ourselves.
     
  10. black_mask

    black_mask Guest

    Damn it's really harder to overcome this when you have a fetish.
    After all these reboot attempts and days without porn I can now tell the difference between the urge to watch porn and the urge to get aroused by your addiction and fetishes, it's really different ! While I think about porn I see it as a solution to stress relief, as something related to sex, something you can actually put into action and learn from but when it's an urge coming from a fetish it's like something I don't have control over (and I will eventually) it's something strong attracting me, something you think you love, something you get tempted by even though you know it's bad and that it's killing your mind.

    But who knows, maybe if I hadn't such a fucked up addiction I wouldn't have considered quitting porn. It's easier to see what's wrong with porn and what's bad about it when you have a fetish and feel miserable every time you get aroused by it. And while right now it's really tough I know that at the end of this journey I will end up stronger and with a greater result then if I hadn't any fetish.

    I will just keep moving. The more battles I win over this addiction the more I grow stronger and the better I am at discerning the truth from falsehood. It's not a matter of choice and it isn't just because of the benefits I'm experiencing. I am just not permitted to fall into that fucked up world again.
    This is a commitment to something greater than myself.

    Stay strong Sepultera, don't quit no matter how many times you relapse, I'm with you man :D
     
  11. Sepultera

    Sepultera New Member

    early morning relapse
    this time I was so happy. I was on my sixth day if I had woken up. but as always morning wood + dreams always leads me towards relapse. sometimes I wish I was more stronger to fight this addiction...............
     
  12. black_mask

    black_mask Guest

    I personally see it as the other way around, while fighting this addiction you'll definitely get stronger.
    Let's say you're a bodybuilder and that you want to lift heavier weights, what you need to do is to train more and lift each time heavier than the time before, only then you'll reach the maximum weight you have set as a goal. Leaving the gym and finding another way to get stronger then trying to lift the maximum weight can't possibly happen.
     
  13. black_mask

    black_mask Guest

    I have made it to day 23. Only 6 days left to beat my best record.
    After that I'll keep going and I'll be unstoppable :D
     
  14. black_mask

    black_mask Guest

    I just relapsed. I just decided to do it, not because of urges. And I don't regret anything, I actually feel good and motivated ;D
     
  15. Sepultera

    Sepultera New Member

    I did relapse too.
    this time no fantasies.

    why did it happen ? because I just wanted to let it go and relax. I started studying and I just couldn't focus on my book, my mind was lurking in this other imaginary world. ::) the reason this happens because I like thinking on light erotic fantasies but then those fantasies clouds my judgement later.
    therefore this time no fantasies. 8)

    Edit:
    one more thing I want to add is that I am glad that this group is still alive. no matter the number of the members. I have seen groups started and ended. this is the place where I can share my thoughts on my addiction. it's really hard for people to do that these days. especially when you live in the times where everything you share somehow, sometime later is always used against you. so thanks @Black_Mask for creating this group.
     
  16. senor_falconio

    senor_falconio New Member

    Hey guys. I already read this post and.... What about a duel? I relapsed today (2 days, sadly), but I wanna a new motivation for healing. So, Let's duel!
     
  17. Sepultera

    Sepultera New Member

    @senor_falconio
    Welcome,
    Let's go for five days first, then ten days from today.
    and feel free to post your experiences through your abstinence streak.
     
  18. senor_falconio

    senor_falconio New Member

    No problem! ;D
     
  19. senor_falconio

    senor_falconio New Member

    Day 1
    A totally normal day. No urges. But I felt so sad. I can't focus on several activities such as studyng, do exercise, etc. BTW, everithing is fine.
     
  20. Sepultera

    Sepultera New Member

    @senor_falconio
    Our brain is gonna take it's time to heal. we just have to keep calm and build new habits to replace the old ones. keep up. BTW make a PMO counter for yourself.

    update: 4th day
    I am just keeping busy. sometimes so busy that I even forget that I am abstaining. Lately I have been increasing my meditation duration. BTW download No fap app, it has proved to be quite helpful. it has this emergency button which helps you when you need motivation the most.
     

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