Caoimhín's Way

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Caoimhín, Nov 11, 2013.

  1. Caoimhín

    Caoimhín Winter's coming...

    @Saville that really hits the nail on the head. In the meditation tradition that I am following, the bubble is described as a cocoon. We retreat into the cocoon and shut out the feelings and experiences of the world. The more we do it, the more solid the walls. When we choose to do otherwise, to venture forth from the warmth and safety of the coccoon, we begin to weaken the walls that shut us in. But to do this requires bravery, each and every time. It is never easy but can become easier.
     
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  2. Caoimhín

    Caoimhín Winter's coming...

    I reset my counter.

    I've been playing a game in my head for the past couple of days where there was an increasing level of "cheating" and not telling myself the truth. I labelled things as not porn but really there was a clear downhill path. Today was a right off.

    I don't want to make excuses, but since I got back from my retreat, I've had a terrible time getting back into the swing of things. I've just been letting everything slide, doing nothing, cooped up at home, too much time on my hands. Any forward momentum ceased and I have been stagnating for about 2 weeks.

    Kind of a similar situation to just over100 days ago, where my seasonal job was ending for the winter, I was mired in a funk, not doing anything, and then I settled into porn.

    It is a humbling experience. I'm doing so much right but this thing is still lurking over my left shoulder.
     
  3. Gilgamesh

    Gilgamesh Seize the day

    Kind of makes sense. A retreat is quite something. Coming back from it may be a shock. I have never experienced this myself, but had a housemate who did this regularly and always needed time to acclimatize to daily life. Give it some time and be gentle to yourself. Motivation will come back naturally.
     
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  4. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    As Gil says this is almost to be expected. You come back from a rarefied environment to the walls of your regular life. It's also an opportunity, though, I think. Now you can see how your regular life doesn't suit you. Summon up your courage and make some small changes. We are only ever a thought away from going a different and better direction in our lives.
     
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  5. forlorn

    forlorn Member

    I've experienced a similar thing recently. Sometimes motivation wanes and it feels like I'm drifting through life rather than making progress.

    The important thing is, you've been honest and recognised you were lying to yourself. Time to start rebuilding that focus and momentum. It's never going to be easy but we have to carry on.
     
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