One of my long term goal is to reconcile myself with my past. , not forgetting my past but to look at it without bitterness, to be able to look forward in a happy and motivate way. [/quote] Now that I have a little time sober I'm not bitter about the PMO days. I don't ever want to go back there. But I learned a lot about addiction, the brain, human frailty, sexuality, greed, manipulation, and fraud. And now I am learning a lot about redemption, recovery, goodness, kindness, emotions, the brain, sexuality and love.