Can't find a good reason to stop using porn

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by NeXuS, Feb 9, 2014.

  1. NeXuS

    NeXuS New Member

    The reason that I did this post is because I see everywhere how bad porn is and how it affects you, and it got me thinking maybe it influences me in a way i dont see,
    The point of it was not trolling and I will remove this post in a while, I decided to abstain from porn anyways just for the sake of experiment.
    Thank you for your answers, and sorry if I sounded arrogant or something, not my point, which is why I will remove this post.
     
  2. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    No, leave your post please. It's good to see the other side/ opinions on it. A friend of mine (34) also doesn't have problems with it. It's the same as with alcohol, weed, etc. Some people can handle it, but others can't. Thanks for your input man!
     
  3. NeXuS

    NeXuS New Member

    I don't mind but I don't wanna step on anybody's feelings, I'm certainly not trying to troll anyone and I have no problem proving it by taking the post down.
    Just wanted to hear other reasons to quit porn other than the common ones that you get to hear.
     
  4. calmwinter

    calmwinter Guest

    Dude, some people are interested in Nofap, which you don't have to be a porn addict to do. I can't just talk about Nofap on any website
     
  5. NeXuS P L E A S E
    doNOT take this thread down. Its very helpful to us all.

    Its also great because I can see myself in your questions (as we all can).

    Now... why are you asking at all or curious?

    The reason I paid attention to it, is because I saw the truth in it.


    Now, my question to you:

    How about you just try to stop for two weeks?
    Try stopping for 2 weeks, just two weeks -- see how it feels. If you can, stop by the forum and let us know how its going.

    It'll let you know that you are actually in control, let you now what it feels like, what kinds of benefits there are, etc. All of which are amazing as many here attest.

    You admit it won't be easy, but no one's saying to do this for the rest of your life, just two weeks.


    That's the best way to answer this question.

    So, what do you think?

    Yes/No?

    If you take it on, lots of resources here and people to help you get through the two weeks (I know, sounds like its a marathon and we're only talking no watching or fantasizing about p).

    If No, why not?

    Thanks for your post!
     
  6. NeXuS

    NeXuS New Member

    Thanks a lot for the support billrivers! I thought that it was trolling and didn't want to step on anybody's feeling, but I see there are people like me here so I won't take it down.

    The main reasonI was curious in it is, since there wasn't a time that I didn't use porn (after becoming sexually mature of course), I'm curious to see if it has affected me somehow in ways I can't see, not the ones you get to hear everywhere (that it's addictive, can ruin your sex life etc.), maybe in social way, psychological ways, setting my standards too high (although I think its inevitable in our highly sexualised culture), or just preventing me from getting real sex since it serves like a comfortable spot.

    Anyways, as I said I'm going to abstain from porn (but not masturbation) for the next month, or at least two weeks (today marks day 1 lol) just to see if anything changes, and I'll take your advice and use this post to show my progress or open a new one, I still don't know.
    if you're like me and tried it, let us know what have you gained from it.
    Thanks!
     
  7. ted93704

    ted93704 Keep Your Heads Up!

    if its not causing you any problems then why are you here?
     
  8. Kokonut

    Kokonut New Member

    That you get stressed by the thought of losing it, is kind of a sign for an addiction.

    I believe it is in the range of possible to not become addicted by using it in no hardcore manner, and not too often without getting addicted, but this often changes. Also if you are able to invest that less into it, why not stop entirely? As for what you have read, there are only perks and there is no disadvantage. It might help you get real sex, it might make you more motivated, it might bring powers in you to arise when you abstain P . So why not stay away then? Is there a rational reason to look at it? or is it only emotional?
     
  9. Meatloaf

    Meatloaf New Member

    Yeah no need to take it out I just wanted to understand - and to check that you have a mature motivation. Its not rare phenomenon that people go on forums where people deal with sore issues and post shit just for fun.
     
  10. calmwinter

    calmwinter Guest

    Could be that, but it's also feeling like a loser when you can't go X amount of days
     
  11. neale

    neale New Member


    well i would say because all of my friends "at the time" were looking at it, and my family more or less "approved" of it(!!) and everywhere i went and everywhere i looked, there was porn, it was normal surely.

    in the movies
    in books
    on the tv
    in music videos
    in mainstream newspapers and magazines.

    everywhere. perfectly normal. great!

    only it wasn't great, and it isn't great. porn is a great LIAR, it'll lie to you again and again and again.

    i realised it was a "big deal" for the 1st time when i tried to quit and couldn't. simple. then i did some soul-searching, got rid of my "friends" at the time and started to associate with more gentle and kind people, inspiring people and needless to say none of these new friends looked at porn.

    once you "come out" of the porn trap and look at it with different eyes, you realise just how bloody awful it is.

    also, i didn't like the sheer amount of time i was wasting on it.

    in short, DON'T DO IT.
     
  12. NeXuS

    NeXuS New Member

    But what was so foul about it? I mean, you just said it lied and such, but how did it affect you in real life?
    I never took it as real sex or as an example of how sex should be.
     
  13. Stewie

    Stewie New Member

    It's not that easy. Everyone in their right mind knows that (normal) sex is nothing like it's in P. And even if you'd be watching actual sexual acts, although prob much less stimulating, that would be voyerism and hence not (just) a model for sex.

    But your brain doesn't necessarily separate the two. If you've been binging on P for a long time especially without (or before) having "real sex", that's now sex for you - no matter how you intellectually think about it. The level of stimulation with PMO is in certain ways higher and this causes many problems for example in real relationships - most obviously ED. Hence the rebooting process is necessary.
     
  14. Ablaze

    Ablaze New Member

    But can you find a good reason to continue using porn?

    You ended up here for a reason like everyone of us. Obviously there's something about this habit that doesn't sit right with you.
     
  15. NeXuS

    NeXuS New Member

    Almost two weeks gone without PMO, I did watch porn about 2 times but it was pretty brief and no PMO.
    what I can tell by now is that using your imagination feels more like real sex because you need to concentrate more, its more meditative-like, at the first few days it felt better because of this, but then it went back to shallow orgasms like I had using porn and my prediction is that using PMO would feel awesome again. I did feel the urge to PMO and sometimes it was pretty strong but I managed not to.

    so far I think ill bounce back and forth between using porn and imagination as to keep the pleasure high.

    And that's about it guys, I think ill stop with my experiment, and just go back and forth between using imagination and PMO.
    And as I said a good reason to watch porn is its just comfortable, cheap, and fast (kinda like using the calculator instead of calculating it in my head analogy)
     
  16. Ablaze

    Ablaze New Member

    I love when people on this site try to rationalize their porn use. It's poison and unnatural. NOTHING good can from it. End of story.

    Just because you're young, at your sexual peak, are still able to have sex and don't have PIED doesn't mean it doesn't affect you like anyone else. You didn't just join this forum for kicks. You know why you're here.

    But hey, it's your life. It just annoys the fuck out of me when this forum is supposed to encourage the abstinence from porn, but people are subtly trying to do the opposite.
     
  17. Mart71

    Mart71 Guest

    I love to live in a free world, where I can choose to use porn or not. Just as I can do with alcohol or cigarettes. Or fast food or sodas for that matter.

    Not everyone gets addicted. Not everyone suffers a major negative effect. As long as it is an informed decision, I see no harm in moderate use.
     
  18. Ablaze

    Ablaze New Member

    If you're unable to stop yourself from watching porn, it's an ADDICTION. And if anyone claims they're deciding to "moderately" use porn (if that even makes any damn sense), then why are you even here? The sub-forum is titled "Pornography Addiction".

    I'm just sick of reading these self-justification posts about porn "not being so bad" and these are the same people coming back weeks later whining about how they can't manage to reboot and get their lives together.
     
  19. Mart71

    Mart71 Guest

    I think you misunderstood me. Personally I will stay away from porn for life, if possible. However I don't want to force my opinion on other people, in this case the OP.

    For example: I have no problems with alcohol in moderation. In fact, I hardly drink any. However I appreciate living in a world, where I would have the freedom to do so if I wanted to. I wouldn't want the alcoholics to run after me with pitchforks and torches if I do, and I wouldn't want the government to outlaw it. Same with porn. I can keep alcohol in check, but I can't keep porn in check. The OP says he has no issues with consuming porn, so imo he should be free to do so.

    Yes, I am aware that this is a forum about porn addiction. However this site is not an anti-porn cult (afaik) and a balanced view on the matter would be appreciated. The OP has informed himself about the potential dangers, discussed it in a civilized manner - so imo there is nothing wrong with his decision. I don't see any problem with this thread being here.
     
  20. nearlybeloved

    nearlybeloved New Member

    It's been a long, long time since I posted on this forum. I'm starting again because I'm a year (and change) into the most fulfilling, vital relationship of my life, and I haven't stopped using porn yet (nor stopped having PIED). 31 years old and trying again (I think I'm at 3-4 days right now). My balls hurt and I want to go jack off, but I'm here, dammit, and I'm gonna beat this thing.

    And this thread piqued my interest.

    I don't agree with ganging up on this guy for presenting a counter-position to 'ours.' When I was his age, I loved porn and didn't even make the association between my failed sex life and porn use. In some ways, I don't even regret years of PMO - they were really fun (though they had devastating consequences - but so did the 70s for a lot of people). It took about a decade for me to actually realize I had an addiction. But some people just have different brains and can use porn without it corrupting their minds. Be comfortable with that truth - people are wired in different ways.

    Just like there are people who can play a first-person shooter game without buying a gun and killing someone - there are people who can keep reality and fantasy separate. I've struggled with choosing reality over fantasy in the sexual context, especially when you learn to let your mind really 'experience' the fantasy and treat it as real.

    There's a holiday in Mexico called Dia De Los Muertos (Day of the Dead). In Mexico, ridiculing death is a life-affirming ritual designed to stave anxieties. “The Mexican is familiar with death. He jokes about it, caresses it, sleeps with it, celebrates it. It is one of his favourite toys and his most steadfast love.” (http://www.footprinttravelguides.com/latin-america/mexico/mexico-features/mexicos-day-of-the-dead/)

    It's possible to celebrate and laugh with what can be considered the darkest, most tragic concept that exists in your reality. Maybe that's death. Maybe it's porn. Maybe you fear porn addiction more than death.

    What I'm saying is - perspectives like this can show us that though we think our porn addiction is the most frightening, intimidating, paralyzing affliction imaginable, we can turn the tables and laugh, confidently in its face (and at ourselves for being 'fappers'). We can be comfortable with porn being around us in society, in movies, in magazines, and in public.

    Porn doesn't scare me anymore. My addiction doesn't scare me anymore. It's there, that's for sure. But I'm going to win.

    I'm not going to beat porn addiction to a pulp and declare victory over its writhing, bloody corpse. I'm not that type of guy, and porn will never die, it will always get right back up and shake off anything you throw at it.

    So I'm just going to look at my addiction - the addiction that has consumed over half of my life, and I'm going to shake my head, smile, laugh at it (and myself) for all the times we had, good and bad, and I'm going to walk away. Porn will always be there, like an old friend that you grew out of. But I won't keep in touch.

    I've got a life to live.

    NB
     

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