I'm 28 and seemingly lost. It's like the older I get the worse I become. When I was 23 I went 90 without fapping. Now that seems impossible. My biggest accomplishment is that I was able to use nofap in my early 20s to overcome a femdom addiction enough to put myself out there and have normal sex. This got me overconfident and I eventually decided the best route was to find a virgin and nofap till marriage then sleep with her for life. Now I am engaged to be married but my future wife doesn't know I waste so much of my time fapping. My career hasn't started because of my habitual marijuana and fapping problem and I am incredibly defeated due to the realization of the compound effects of my bad habits and my continued failure to win the battle against vice. It feels like even when I quit I'm just delaying the inevitable fall back into weed and porn. I haven't found a true calling in my career other than it's purpose as a source to provide for my future wife and kids. I also still fall back into femdom porn despite knowing from real life experiences with mistresses that it is degrading and not a good thing. I am lazy, marijuana and porn addicted and at this point it feels impossible. Can I really nofap 1.5 years till our wedding day? Can i be a normal funcfioning adukt afyer years of being a lazy stoner fapper? I'm just confused at this point. I used to be so confident. Now I worry I don't understand this at all. Any advice based on what I wrote is appreciated. Thank you.
Sorry you are going through such shit. My first piece of advice is to find a therapist or, at least, someone you can talk to. You sound like you have a lot of anxiety and some depression, so please find some help. Next, don't worry about whether or not you can wait a year and a half before you masturbate. You need to set more short turn goals--a week, then two, and then three. I am 72 and couldn't go a year and a half without it, but (and I know this is controversial on this site). I masturbated often for twenty or thirty years before porn came along and I could detect no ill effects. My sex life was fine. It was only after I got hooked on that damn porn that I got all messed up. I would concentrate on that goal more than the masturbation. It is probably a good idea to cut out masturbating for several weeks, at least, many, many men masturbate and are fine. If you do masturbate, though, be sure you are not watching porn and try to concentrate on feeling the sensations and paying attention to your body. I personally found this article very useful: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/reb...mindful-masturbation-uk-therapist-paula-hall/. Again, this is apparently the most controversial issue on this site, so others may say I am full of shit, but I am pretty confident I am right. Just wait a few weeks and when you start make it a relatively infrequent thing. I wish you all the best--you can get there. Keep in touch.
Thank you for that. You are right. At the very least I can make my masturbation only to pictures of my fiance
You’re welcome. My advice would be to try masturbating while just thinking of her, rather than looking at pictures. Another thought I had is that we can call porn an addiction, but what it really is that it is a very strong habit. Habits are hard to break, but almost impossible to break without replacing it with something else. Figure out what your triggers are. For me, it was being bored and home alone. When my wife said she was going out, I was practically unzipping my pants as she was leaving the house. Once you know what your triggers are, think of what you are going to do instead—go for a walk, call a friend on the phone, watch a ballgame, whatever you find enjoyable. Then promise yourself this: I am going to try to stop watching porn, but at the very least, when I get the urge I am going to give myself 15-20 minutes to find something else to do. Don’t expect a miracle, but take it day by day. If you slip up, don’t view it as a catastrophe, but just get back on the horse and keep on going.
