I relapsed and binged again. Was wasting time watching tv rather than studying when I got stressful and scared about my future and how am I ever going to face the challenges with this attitude. How am I ever going to change if I just keep repeating what I have done in the past since 8 years? @ Arrow Thank you. I read your journal, it's very inspiring. We both share some similar experiences with this addiction. I really look up to you as I can see myself. @trainmill I know, but that is lacking in my life. I don't really have people around me who will be supportive (not even my parents) that's why I come here on the forum. I am focusing more on being self-supportive. @jjjveetec I don't understand your advice unless it is sarcastic for my constant failure to change myself and end up in self-pity. I really do want to get out of this. I want a normal life where I am happy and 'living life' rather than wasting my precious years being passive, under confident and a weak willed soft person. I want to be tough and strong and cope up with any difficulty or challenge life throws at me. I just don't know what goes wrong. I am the one to blame for what I am today. I try really hard but sometimes it just gets to me.