Cali, I had read parts of your journal before but it was inspiring to read the whole thing today. From lows in Feb you pressed on and it's inspiring. It's a marker for all of us who will stumble and be tempted by the lie that it's all over and we have to just wallow in PMO. Have you focused on any smaller, incremental steps of intimacy with your wife? Asking her for a long hug, or a walk, making her a favorite meal or something? She'll notice those things and they'll go a long way. From what you have shared, any deliberate step of intimacy will be sincere and will go a long way in her heart and yours. Also, when you mention boredom, I just want to encourage someone like you who's older than me (41), how much it means when the older guys in my life reach out through texts, meeting up for coffee, etc. Some I've met at church, and others I've met at my local Celebrate Recovery.