....but the fighter still remains.....

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Boxer17, Jun 23, 2017.

  1. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Some days just not digging the hole any deeper is enough. This keeps the momentum rolling even though it doesn't feel like it. Good job!
     
  2. TriGuy60

    TriGuy60 Member

    I wouldn't let it bug you that you gave in. One battle at a time... Your body might be looking for the sugar high to replace the porn high... I don't know this for sure, but I can make an educated guess... Eat as healthy as possible. Get some exercise.. Tell the beast to fuck-off
     
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  3. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Just checking in. I think it's 6 weeks porn free.
    Pmo is a fake intimacy. But in the times when I'm torn up inside and depressed, I want the release without having to interact with someone, be opened up to anyone. When I feel that way I don't want to be touched or in the proximity to anyone. it's almost as if my skin was hyper sensitive in a negative way. I am not justifying it. I fight against it. Just an observation about myself. Using my thread for some introspection


    Warm regards to all
     
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  4. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Totally understand this. I can really get my hate on for all people if I am in such a state. Staying the course allows us to find better releases for sure.

    Great job on the six weeks, Boxer17!
     
  5. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    As this month and the September challenge wind to a close I find an earworm whispering that soon I won't have an accountability issue. If I want to truly reset I need to be accountable always. To myself,others,and my God. I want to have control over this life robber!
     
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  6. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Sounds like this is happening in a powerful way, Boxer!
     
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  7. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    I can totally relate. For me, though, real life interaction isn't a current possibility either, so I just... bear it.

    I hope to hear you're doin' well, Boxer.
     
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  8. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Thank you guys so much. Going through rough time with the wife right now. But will survive.
     
  9. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Yes, you will survive and the rough patch doesn't matter. Wives complain and try to elicit from us our old responses. Why? Because, this is how they control us, even though it also doesn't make them happy. Recovery is positive action every day. Everything else is noise. Peace!
     
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  10. JohnQ

    JohnQ Active Member

    Boxer,
    How are you doing? I was watching a program I recorded on Teddy Roosevelt form the History Channel and I was looking up some info on him and came across this. Made me think about you.

    The Man in the Arena
    It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

    Teddy Roosevelt
     
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  11. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Wow!! Thank you for that.
    Almost brings tears to my eyes.
    We are that man in the arena
     
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  12. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Posi-vibes to ya, Bro.
     
  13. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Hey my friends. Just read Moz' journal.

    My sense was one of an odd mixture of admiration and pride for him and feeling a little ashamed at some of my feeble attempts of late.

    I don't know how common this weakness is. My gateway drug for stimulation is I crave walking around stores looking for hot women to ogle. Then either go online or bring up a memory to fuel MO. I have really let my guard down in this and have taken a hit from which I am reeling and not really getting my bearings reestablished.
    I just love girly girls in dresses blowing in the wind. Or if I catch one in an unguarded moment and glimpse a little flash of something it is such a high.
    I sometimes avoid shopping because of this. I know when I go into a store there is a decent possibility of seeing just such a one that fits the type I like.

    I don't always go looking. Sometimes I am doing ok minding my own business when a hot woman will walk by and I almost swoon. Literally get weak in the knees.
    This post is probably a little rambling. Kind of stream of consciousness writing but Moz' post brought this to the surface for me.
    I am embarrassed and a little adrift right now. Trying to regain my equilibrium.
    Lunch hour over
    Peace to you all
    Boxer
     
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  14. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I was a big time ogler. I still do it sometimes, but less and less now. MO'ing gives away our power and so does ogling. When I don't MO I don't have the same desire to ogle, because, indeed, they are part and parcel of the same thing.

    I hear you about feeling embarrassed, but that's just the addict trying to make you ashamed so that you'll continue certain unsavory habits. What most of us lack here are basic life skills. There's nothing embarrassing about that unless we have no intention of changing.

    Peace back atcha! :)
     
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  15. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Yeah, man. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Like the rest of us, you have a lot going on and... well, I think it's important not to expect perfection, ever, but to just do our best and hopefully make progress overall (even if that means, you know: two steps forward one back or whatever).

    You're doing great just being here and being honest with yourself and attempting to address yr issues, mate.
     
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  16. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Hello my friends:

    I once heard Paul Harvey say , one reason grandpa stayed interested in Grandma all those years was that he knew that what was under those skirts was all his. To some this statement is anachronistic but human nature is ,and always has been ,what it is.
    In my opinion one big reason many men act around women the way they do is because many women look and act around men the way they do. The hipocracy of this recent "outrage du jour" in the news about men acting inappropriately around women is laughable.


    Female animals give off their scent when ready to mate. Human females don't necessarily do the same. They attract a mate visually.
    Men respond differently. Some look and enjoy. Some feed their M fantasies. Some act out when in the presence of such stimuli.

    In a very real way some women invite the sort of attention they get.
    They want to turn attraction on and off like a light switch. Their sexuality can be used in different ways. To get what they want or to be basically worshipped or to build their self esteem. , Women like to be looked at and men like to look.
    These movie stars and media types look like high class prostitutes. They are absolutely delicious looking. They love showing up at gala events in sheer clothing giving nip slips and upskirt flashes. Then when they give some guy a big hug and he grabs too tight or too long. Or grabs a bum they are JUST So SHOCKED!!
    No wonder some men cross the line. I am not excusing boorish behavior.
    I know I am painting with a broad brush for I have neither the time nor skill to parse every thought.

    This is a rant with a scattergun approach and I may have missed the target on some things but I feel pretty confident I have also hit it too.
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2017
    40New30 likes this.
  17. JohnQ

    JohnQ Active Member

    So true!
     
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  18. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I agree with much of what you say, Boxer. Some men (often powerful and rich) are pigs to women, but they are pigs as people. They think nothing of laying off a work force and sending young men to death in war. But, we are who we are. A man is filled with testosterone and has a penis, while a woman is more estrogen centric and has a vagina. These are pretty big differences. We are designed to attract one another. If I see a woman with her tits busting out of her shirt I'm going to notice. I'm programmed to notice. And, she sure as shit wants me to notice, along with every other guy. Now, I'm not going to say anything to her, or have my tongue hang out, but I'm also not going to gouge out my eyes, either. It's kind of like going to a restaurant for a meal. While you're waiting for your order to come you see other tables getting their order. You see meals that you didn't order and think "mmm, geez, that looks really good, I wonder if I should have order that, instead." I have never touched a woman's ass who I wasn't going out with. But, I've had many women touch my ass, and I'm not that attractive. Not long ago a friend of ours put her hand repeatedly on my knee while we conversing. She was a bit drunk and so her inhibitions were down. So #metoo! lol I removed myself from the situation, because I'm a sex addict and I can't be around that, but I also knew that what she was doing was harmless in and of itself. I mean, fuck, are we all that uptight now!
     
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  19. JohnQ

    JohnQ Active Member


    Women may want these things but they only want them from those they want. They get to decide. We are heading down the path where a glance, a clumsy flirt and an awkward pass are defined as sexual harassment and part of male “rape culture”. In fact I’m wondering how much of this #metoo stuff is might be a result of “buyers remorse”. By that I mean the woman may have found the flirt (or whatever) acceptable or even enjoyable at the time but afterwards she decided she didn’t like it. ...and afterwards can now be 40 years later.

    This has been coming for some time now. Tonight I heard some talking head news guy say all these sexual harassment claims and the resignations and firings that followed are cathartic. Made me sick. I’m wondering if any women might have the capacity to realize this has risen to the level of “Salem Witch Trial” hysteria. I don’t think they understand the ramifications of what they are doing to themselves as well; they are cutting themselves off in the workplace. Because of the all the sexual harassment stuff that started about 20 years ago I try to never meet with a woman alone. It may have happened only 2 times in the past 10 years and then I made sure that my office door remained open and the meeting/discussion was as short as possible (maybe to the point of almost being rude). I also would never take a women to business lunch or a beer after work. I do all the time with the guys that work for me.

    We might be uptight now but it’s only because we have to be.
     
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  20. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    I agree. You can't play the flirtation game and the " I'm just one of the guys" role at the same time.
     
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