....but the fighter still remains.....

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Boxer17, Jun 23, 2017.

  1. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    :). Thank you so much for the warm thoughts. I have come to value you and the other men on this forum so much
     
  2. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Just throwing this out for consideration
    I was feeling a little bummed today and thought I'm gonna make myself feel better by eating a bowl of ice cream.
    There seems to be a parallel with that track of thinking and " I'm gonna make myself feel better by looking at P "
    While it may not be a perfect parallel the escapism is to what I am referring.

    While I know eating a big bowl of ice cream messes with my blood sugar it feels good while doing it. The same with P. In trying to avoid the unpleasantness of life I muddy the waters with unhealthy activities

    What do you guys think? Am I making too far a stretch?
     
  3. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    all people do things to make themselves feel better when they are not feel so good for what ever reason,better it is a bowl of ice cream than a porn,you think of the people who have eating addictions and eat that bowl of ice cream and relapse then feel how we do after a pmo session.
     
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  4. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    I probably wasn't clear. I was thinking of the whole idea of escape. Do similar thought processes fuel many types of hurtful behavior?
    I was wondering out loud if there is a commonality
    From a hurt child saying I'm going to take my ball and go home to someone drowning pain in alcohol to escaping life through porn.
    Wanting to eat ice cream today to run from life's frustrations made me think of times I wanted to watch P to run and hide from life

    Maybe I'm over thinking this. I tend to do that o_O:):rolleyes:
     
    HeyRevolver likes this.
  5. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    Interesting discourse men. There is much connection between our emotional state and what we seek out for soothing and comfort. Food and alcohol seem to be such common medication in our society. Chicken wings and beer are a match made for each other... greasy salty comfort food and carbonated blur inducing liguid. The powers that be know this. Philip Morris owns Marbloro, Miller Beer and Lays potatoe chips among other holdings like Pizza Hut.

    We are soft targets for all of this. Our brokeness often makes self-medication almost inevitable. Those brain chemicals are a two way street... pleasure and pain seem to come from the old dopamine cycle.

    We really have to walk into the pain head on... sober and head up. Hard to do I know... I know just how hard.
     
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  6. learningOrder

    learningOrder Member

    My wife and I have marveled over the close connection between P addiction and food addiction. She can have a tendency for using food to escape and it has become problematic for her health at points... I do the same with P but seldom use food that way. It has been a useful frame of reference for both of us to communicate with each other about our own struggles.
     
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  7. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Yes. I have thought of the exact same thing and couldn't put it better
    You brought it out much better than my Ice cream example
    Perfect
     
    learningOrder likes this.
  8. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    How are you Boxer17?
     
  9. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Doing well sir. Thank you for thinking of me. I Just laid some ceramic tile for the first time today . A little clumsy with the mortar at first but got a method going and did ok for my first time.

    Have been able to stay away from P. Where I really have to take care is in public. That is my real weakness. Stores,malls and the like. I try to keep eyes to myself

    And yourself ? I trust things are well with you.
     
  10. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    My wife just left for a baby shower and all of a sudden I'm getting"the fever". I need toshut down computer and go out and mow the lawn. Hope it passes through:confused::confused::confused:
     
  11. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Telling you guys about this kind of pulls the cover off of this creeping in my gut that says. "you need a little relaxation after a long day". "Let me slide this little knife between your ribs and fill you with crap". Gotta shut down computer and do something productive before i do something stupid o_O
     
  12. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Hey heyrevolver :D.
    So good to hear from you my friend. Yeah speaking of ceramic tile....at work I'm kind of a jack of all trades. But this was kind of new for me

    It makes me happy to hear from one of you guys. This forum seems like a group of friends as much as a P addiction site

    I hope your day went well
    Keep punching my friend
    Boxer
     
  13. devnull

    devnull Member

    I think I'm too late to offer timely support, but I'm hoping you managed to avoid a slip.
     
  14. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Hey devnull.
    Thank you sir. I teetered but didn't fall. I went out and mowed the lawn (the equivalent of a cold shower:D) and walked it off.
    This forum helps. Knowing there are good men sharing the same battle is beneficial
    Gotta go. Warm thoughts
    B17
     
  15. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    Hey B17,

    Great to read that you made it through brother..

    Great going. Peace
     
  16. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Without this forum and you men I don't know if I could hold on.
    What is strange is that though we are anonymous it seems like we hold ourselves (not others ) acountable for our actions somehow I feel like I want to hold up my part of this line of battle..do my part for and with you all

    Cool thoughts (it's summer):p
     
  17. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Hey guys.
    Just checking in. Have not slipped
    No P M or O
    Pretty bummed today. I have become a celibate :eek:.
    I am not looking at porn. Have stayed away for a month. No P , no P subs,. Tried to keep eyes to self in public.

    That being said I have little if any desire for my wife.

    Then I go out in public and am accosted on all sides by visual stimuli. And it is stimulating!
    I do ok but the mental fight is very wearying

    My mind set is such that even if I were single without a woman in my life I want to beat pmo.
    Very discouraged and tired today
    Thanks for listening. Without this forum to pour out my heart I would feel very alone indeed
    Boxer
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2017
  18. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Heyrevolver
    Thank you for the response. I am figuratively stroking my chin and pondering over what you said.
     
  19. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    Hi Boxer, glad we are here for you brother. Man, we can do this, especially if we support and encourage each other... learn and share together.
     
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  20. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    That is true. Sometimes a different set of eyes can see a dilemma from a new and helpful perspective
     
  21. ananoman

    ananoman Active Member

    Boxer- Feeling bummed, discouraged, tired.... its all part of the process and all of us here who are trying to live right have gone through this or are going through it. Keep your chin up. It will pass, and soon one of these tomorrows is going to be a fantastic day!
     
    Boxer17 likes this.
  22. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    It gets better...trust me. You just have to plow through it.
     
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  23. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    How are you boxer? A bunch of great guys here cheering for you brother.
     
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  24. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Thanks guys. After kissing and cuddling briefly last night my wife asked why I wasn't taking lovemaking to the next logical step. I just said that I didn't want to start something i couldn't finish
    I have to get back to work. I will try to write more later
     
  25. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    I think I understand what you are saying Boxer... so glad you are here with us battling side by side.
     
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  26. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Will do:D
     
  27. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Greetings sir. Hanging in there. No slip ups thankfully. Busy weekend. Back into work mode this morning
    All the best to you kind sir. All the best to the great fighters on this forum!
     
  28. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    :D. That's the way I feel about you sir and all our brothers. If I can be in your corner it will be my privilege.
    I am so honored to be with men fighting this fight
    When I think of the millions of men in this porn snare it boggles the mind. I might suggest most are not aware of the insidious nature of this scourge. Though we struggle and are knocked down we ARE aware.

    Peace to you sir
     
    HeyRevolver likes this.
  29. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    I hope this doesn't sound too nutty

    An afternoon Muse:

    I wonder in this hyper everything world in which we live ,with extreme this and bold that and super something else if we are desperately averse to the mundane. People often feel the need of a "hit" to feel alive.

    In a modern iteration, the 60s anthem of sex drugs and rock n roll is still alive in our society. Today we could add porn ,junkfood and rock n roll. (The music seems to be a constant )

    Driving to my next job today I began feeling that strange vague restlessness that proceeds what often turned into a P binge. Oddly I find I can derail that restlessness with junkfood or hard rock.

    1.)Being on this forum we all have the same opinion on porn.
    2) my opinion of junkfood is it is the edible version of porn.... delicious,worthless and harmful.
    3)I probably won't get the same agreement on rock music.
    First off, I LOVE music. My iPod can play for 291 days without repeating a song. I understand and feel the pull of all music. Rock is music on steroids!; in a different category. Especially hard rock There is a sense of abandoning boundaries of "firing all of your guns at once and exploding into space". It grabs you in the gut. That being said, I stay away from it for the most part.
    In the same way we men here regard porn as a delicious poison I see the hedonistic abandon of rock music as an enormously and successfully seductive medium in which harmful influences have been unleashed on the earth. The sexual revolution,drug culture and the like all rode on the magic carpet of Rock music...but it WILL give me the hit that a Mendelssohn concerto can't.
    I find when I get that certain restlessness in my gut for porn I can derail it with junkfood or hard rock.
    And I find that fascinating

    I go back to my first point. We feel the need of a "hit" to feel alive.
    And porn ,junkfood, and rock music are tailored to give us that dopamine bong hit that gets us through that low,boring , stressful time
    If I can learn to successfully navigate that thing in my mind that makes me crave a rush l will be well on my way to mental sobriety

    These are just some raw thoughts put down in my journal. It helps me If I sound extreme I'm just sorting some things out in my head

    I know it's been said before. Dopamine is our drug.
    Porn,junkfood and music are the delivery method
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2017
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