I saw this looking at some old posts Very true! But then there is the situation like the drunk who comes off of a bender and says never again. After a while the shame and disgust diminishes and that old desire rears it's head. Or the person who's wanting to eat correctly yet finds himself eating junk food because it tastes good instead of eating right according to knowledge We need to live according to knowledge instead of some base desire
Thank you. I'm plugging along. I have my ups and downs like everyone else. I stay pretty busy at 69 I am still working full-time. As a younger man I never prepared for retirement. As far as I know I still have my health for which I am indeed thankful. Many times my thoughts are so nuanced that it is hard to write them down. I am still in the fight with small successes and small setbacks. I will always Lean into The wind against my lower desires but at this age I have a feeling I will run out of time before I fully vanquish this enemy.
I had a moment of shame the other day. I was driving home from work and got to looking at bikini posts on some website. I pulled into a store parking lot to sit and look. My daughter came riding by and talked with me while I quickly set my phone out of sight. I felt low and cheap. I wish every time this low base desire came around I could conjure up those humiliating emotions and make my decision based upon knowledge and not impulse
Also,thank you!! to all you great guys for the anniversary congratulations. I connect with each one in this fight for integrity. Warm and best regards to all
I hope you do realize that it is not about the bikini pics. They are just the cue that release the drug in your brain that you're addicted to.
Another congrats on your anniversary, Boxer! I like the term you used about our plight: a "fight for integrity". That says it very neatly.
Yes, as someone who battles the lure of the bikini pics, and ultimately gets no real pleasure from them, it's important to remember that and remind ourselves of how sinister the drive to get that dopamine fix is.
I listened to some old AM radio song recordings that I had today. The nostalgic part of me kind of enjoyed the low fidelity sound. This must mean I'm getting old
me too. sometimes at night before going to bed i listen to old 60s songs. 'today' by new christy minstrels and 'come saturday morning' by sandpipers sometimes still make me cry. such soft, harmonious, innocent music. long time ago.
There's kids out there now writing music called Lo-Fi. It's music to chill out to, to study to, to work out to. Like all good things it's making a comeback.
I know what you mean. It's like that music instantly transports you to another time. I came across a web radio station called cruising the 60s. This station has recordings of entire radio shows with DJs and advertisements and everything from the '60s. Remember how DJs from the 60s and '70s tried to be so zany. It makes me feel like I'm in high school again
Hi Saville. Yes, I have listened from time to time to some of the Lo-Fi chill music. It is kind of good for background when you're doing other work.
Remember how popular New Age music was in the '80's and '90's? Windham Hill and other labels. Much of it was really good, and like any genre, had a lot of uninspired stuff too. "Chill" music is great too. Like you say, nice to have on while working.
Hey there Mozenjo I have much new Agey music in my collection; love Windham Hill. Music has always played a huge part in my life. Being a musical explorer is an enduring enjoyment and passion in my life ever since I was a kid. I remember putting a microphone connected to my dad's reel-to-reel tape recorder recording songs off the radio as a young boy. Over the years I have amassed quite a collection of music of all genres. It's funny how the music world goes through different phases. The country music in the '90s, folk and bluegrass came back due to the popularity of the movie oh brother where art thou. Rick Wakefield ( formerly of Yes) has done some really nice piano stuff on YouTube that I have been enjoying lately. I also found an amazing version of Handel's Messiah by an orchestra and chorus called Collegium 1704 Orchestra. I have listened to several versions of the Messiah and this one is the best I have ever found Warm regards to all Boxer
I think I have posted this in the past but I thought it was worth reposting. Warm regards to all and may this year bring something good to each one Boxer
I have not posted for a while but Yes, I am still fighting the fight. A fact that I am very aware of is that I enjoy M better than sex with a woman. Always have. At my age looks like I always will. I lean against that headwind with mixed success. M is a selfish act if one has a partner and I have. It is also a lazy approach to satisfaction. So I'm fighting against this lifelong inclination. I don't know whether it is something in my upbringing or just my nature. So, as I said this struggle to stay clean and upright is not my natural tendancy but I know it is right and so I push in that direction This is a bit of a ramble and I don't know if I made sense but I AM still fighting the fight for integrity Be well my friends Boxer
Could be Or, lazily bypassing the effort to engage with another person. Which, I don't know, may be a sign of depression
I don't think there is anything lazy about you, Boxer. I recognize your lack of interest in engaging with another human. As we age, and our testosterone diminishes, it can seem like more of hassle to put ourselves out there. I used to tell people I had low-level depression. I minimized how I was feeling and thought that if I could just get my act together that I'd be more into life. However, it turns out I suffer from bouts of serious depression. Being intimate with another human, no matter how vulnerable that makes us, is one of the tools that can help us out of a funk.
